This podcast sparks joy

(electronic music)

Let’s figure out a start
with some light, light news.

Marie Kondo, you may remember Marie Kondo,

she wrote a book and kind
of took the world by storm.

And the reason she took the world by storm

is because she was
like, does this spark joy?

So here’s my pen.

Should I keep my pen?

And she would say, well,
you hold it, does it spark joy?

Now, I had an issue with this
sort of philosophical practice

because there is
literally no physical object

that I hold that sparks
joy because I’m an old man.

So I understood what
you were saying though.

Like if it would need to be
rephrased for me, is this a necessity?

Do you consider this a necessity?

And that word, the
definition could be expanded

to be like, like
when I hold up my

video game controller,
is this a necessity?

Well, no, it isn’t, but it is deeply
connected to my entertainment time.

And I consider that important.

So yes, I should keep that.

Is there anything on my
desk that I don’t need?

Ah, my wedding ring,
’cause I’m not wearing it.

But, no, but this is it.

I think I’ve actually kind of
followed the Marie Kondo philosophy

because there’s everything in my
desk that I’m looking at has a use.

So the idea is minimize
how much stuff you have.

I could throw out some old clothes.

There’s clothes I don’t wear.

There’s clothes that don’t fit right.

So that’s probably where I
would make the first real effort

just throw out a bunch of clothes.

It’s just, it’s so hard for me to find
clothes that fit properly in Japan.

If I find something, I keep it.

Even if I don’t really like
it, I might wear it later.

So that’s again, a necessity.

But her whole thing was, everything
you have in your possession

should spark joy and
create a positive feeling

or you feel like you
have like warms around it.

She did an interview and
she said she’s sort of given up

on keeping everything clean and organized.

Which is kind of cool and
interesting, ’cause it’s like,

what drove someone who’s
built a career, a tiny, tiny empire?

She’s been on like Western TV.

I know she was on Stephen Colbert’s show.

What would drive
her to the point where

she’s almost given up
on her own philosophy?

She said, “My home is messy.

The way I’m spending
my time is the

right way for me at
this stage in my life.

What is important is enjoying
spending time with my children.”

And then you find out
she’s had her third kid.

So this is why her house is
messy, because three kids,

and I assume all pretty small still.

‘Cause one’s a baby,
’cause you got two other kids,

they’re a little older, but
then that means they’re like

toddler, so they’re just running
around, just making a mess.

That’s what kids do, and they have toys.

And the kids, if you say,
“Does this spark joy?”

They’re gonna go, “Yeah!”

‘Cause everything sparks
joy when you’re a little kid.

This is something I was kind of sad about.

I saw a kid who a train
went by and got so excited

that he did a little
like tippy-tappy dance.

I was like, I don’t know if
I’ve ever been that happy.

I don’t know if I’ve ever
been that at a point in my life

where I was did a little tippy-tappy dance.

I must have, and then at
some point that joy went away.

And it’s sad.

It’s sad that I don’t get excited
about things like that anymore.

So I’m gonna try to
find something that

would make me do a
little tippy-tappy dance.

And that’s gonna be like,
this could be the chunk

of beef chest philosophy of tippy-taps.

‘Cause when you
get to a certain point

in your life, you don’t
tippy-tap anymore.

Can we find the thing in our
life that makes us tippy-tap?

And if we can, then that gives
us a sense of what brings us joy.

And that’s maybe what I’ve lost
in my life, a certain amount of joy.

I wanna bring that back.

And then I was thinking, my
recondo’s version of messy

is probably still way
cleaner than everyone else.

So I keep my head, again,
if you’ve watched the video,

you can see there’s very little in my room.

Behind me there is the bed.

There’s the chin-up bar.

Down here in the corner,
there’s a little heater.

It’s a space heater.

Electricity doubled for me, last,
between last December and this December,

went from 15,000 yen to
heat my house to 30,000 yen.

That’s a big bite.

So we, the small rooms,
so my room’s quite small.

We got a little kerosene space heater.

We’re using that.

That’s basically all there is in my room.

There’s the two desks
with my computer

set up and another
desk with just nothing

so that I can do other stuff there.

I have a minimalist philosophy.

So I think overall,
my room is probably

less messy than
other people’s rooms,

because I only use things
that I consider necessary.

Maricondo’s whole spark joy thing.

She probably doesn’t have that much
stuff in her house in the first place.

She doesn’t have that much
stuff in her house in her first place.

Her version of messy is probably way better

than other people’s
version of messy anyways.

So I’m betting Maricondo’s state of
decay that she may be in right now.

It’s still 10 times better than
almost everyone else’s state of decay.

So you know, she’s got three kids.

She’s got a life.

I mean, I don’t, I hope she’s happy.

She says she’s happy.

She wants to spend
time with her kids and

then that actually
brings in a secondary.

This has nothing to do with
news anymore, I just realized.

She’s brought in a secondary
aspect of the philosophy

is that her philosophy has changed.

She went from everything
should be sparking

joy and clean in an
order and minimalist.

To I wanna spend time with my
kids and you know, enjoy that time

and enjoying that time with
kids, that’s gonna be messy.

You’re gonna have a lot of stuff.

You’re gonna have
toys all over the floor

sometimes, but that’s
actually pretty fun.

I remember, you know, just
toys everywhere for my kids.

It was pretty cool.

You know, I don’t have that in my
house ’cause my kids are like teens.

There.

They have basically a phone or a
device and that’s all they pay attention to

and I’m not criticizing that
’cause like, what do I do?

I play video games, I
make podcasts, and I

stream on Twitch
and stuff, and that’s it.

That’s my version is just a
bigger device at this point.

So I can’t be critical of
them, but I kinda miss Lego.

(phone ringing)

A very quick update.

So I think last week I did talk about China

and China denying visas to people
in Japan, being very hypocritical.

China has resumed issuing
visas for Japanese people.

That’s it.

I mean, there’s actually no,
because we talked about it last week

and the hypocrisy in there, and I
didn’t think it was gonna last very long.

I thought it was gonna go
longer than just a couple weeks

I talked about it because
China’s the kind of country

that sort of makes
a decision, stands

by it, even if it’s
the wrong decision,

but tourism is money.

Everyone wants tourists to keep
tourisming, and they want the money.

So Japanese people, you
may hate them historically,

but they’re gonna spend a lot of
money if they come to your country,

so you want them to
come visit your country.

(phone ringing)

There’s been a series of robberies.

They’re pretty awful, actually.

The interesting part is
that they were masterminded

by a man who’s being
held in a detention

center in the
Philippines, in vanilla.

So basically he had
a smartphone, and

he was directing
people how to break in,

how to basically do home invasions almost.

What they would do
is they come up to

your house and they
do a fake delivery,

and then they would force
their way into your house.

They beat up some
people, they accidentally,

they beat up a
90-year-old person,

and they died as a result of the injuries.

One of the home invasions used
seven people, so these are big things.

They talked about how much money they took,

but again, it’s how much
money you keep in the house.

I don’t keep any money in the house.

But Japanese people, older generations,

still tend to keep money,
physical money in the house.

Which, because they
don’t trust banks, and

then the banks,
interest rates are so low

that keeping money in
bank almost means nothing.

Sometimes you pay more in fees
than you would get an interest,

so there’s no benefit
to keeping you to bank.

I think it was interesting
that this guy had a smartphone.

He was arrested in
2021 being held in Manila.

He gave instructions via smartphone
how to set up the fake deliveries,

how to go to the houses,
how to pick the houses,

and he organized groups of people
in Japan to do these robberies.

He called him, they kept
referring to him as Luffy.

Luffy is a famous
criminal character in

Japan, from a manga
in anime and stuff.

And Luffy is the pirate.

I was thinking of someone else.

Yeah, Luffy is the pirate.

Okay.

And I was like,
don’t give, police

should not be giving
criminals cool names.

And it turns out
that he called himself

that, which makes
him actually way lamer,

giving yourself a nickname of a cool
anime character that you probably like.

And then like, I guess making
other people call it, you that?

That’s, I don’t know.

It’d be like someone going, getting a
stupid name like Chunker Beef Chess

and trying to get
everyone to call him that.

I actually don’t want
people to call me that.

I have never insisted any of my friends

or people I’ve talked to actually
call me Chunker Beef Chess.

It is just a nickname.

I guess at this point, it’s sort
of a production company name

because I have a series of podcasts
and stuff all under the same pseudonym.

So maybe if I write stuff, if I
might use that as my pet name, but…

Anyways, this guy, it looks
like he’s going to be deported

in the second week of
February back to Japan.

So deported from the
Philippines back to Japan.

And when that happens, I do want
to see like what he’s charged with.

I’m betting these charges
are going to be pretty big

because there is at
least one death involved

and multiple, multiple
people have been injured.

What I want to know is what is the scope

of the organization he was
able to do while in detention?

Because you think the guards maybe
would have noticed he was using a phone,

but he was being detained, not in jail.

Like there’s a lot of
sort of like shady areas.

Why did he have a smartphone and
why do you have so much access to it

if he was being detained
for a full year at least?

More than that’s really
weird and interesting.

So I’m looking at sort of
the back sides of this story.

So you’re going to get all the, oh,
this is how much money was stolen

and there’s people who were hurt and stuff.

But I’m like, how did he get
this organization into place

from a detention center with a smartphone?

That’s the bit I’m more interested in.

The criminal proceedings,
I mean, it’s going to be big.

We’ll see what happens.

I will do updates on
this as they come along.

(phone ringing)

I’ve got like three or four stories
of, it’s all 40, 50 year old men.

There’s a 44 year old
man who is arrested

for producing
counterfeit, huggy pillows.

So you know those big pillows, body
pillows, and it has an anime girl on it.

He was arrested, he had 72 items of
12 characters from 10 different shows.

Now what he was doing
was taking these pillows

and modifying them so
they were showing more skin.

So you have the,
I know it was like

one of the characters
from Dead or Alive,

video game, sexy lady.

She’s lying on the
pillow, let’s say, like this.

  • Oh.
  • For people who are listening,
    I just did a very sexy gesture.

I don’t know if he
was painting it, or

he was doing some
kind of modification

to make it look like she
was exposing more skin.

So it sounds like
what he did was took

an original licensed
picture, modified it

so it showed more skin and
then produced these huggy pillows.

And since they’re sexier
than the official ones,

the companies are like, this isn’t
cool when the police arrested him.

They found 600 more in his house.

Prosecutors are seeking heavy punishment

between 2018 to last
summer, he made 12 million yen.

So that’s towards like 18, 19, 20, 21.

So that’s four years 12 million.

He was making 3 million yen
a year off these huggy pillows

that is a lot of money, but also
it’s less than the average salary.

Now when I’m gonna
commit my big crime,

because it’s coming,
I like this age group

has made it very clear
that I am ripe for crime.

When I commit my crime, I wanna
make it so I don’t have to work anymore.

So it’s gotta be a big score.

This is why I will never
commit a crime though,

’cause I’m never
gonna hit a score big

enough where I wouldn’t
have to work anymore,

or it would be enough money
that I could just keep my job

and then just supplement my income.

Yeah, I guess I’m already
not a career criminal

’cause I’m smart enough
to know that like if I have

to keep committing crimes
over three, four years,

even if it’s just the exact same crime,

it’s the sheer volume
is going to make it

easier from the catch
you sooner or later.

It might be years, this
guy’s like three, four years.

There’s another story,
I actually didn’t do it.

There was a guy riding
a motorcycle and he

was riding his motorcycle
close to the car

in front of him so that
when there was a toll gate

to get onto the highway,
he would go through.

And they were like, he
didn’t pay not very much

like three, four, five,
hundred dollars worth of tolls,

but then he got arrested
because he’s been doing it

and they’re like sooner
or later gonna catch him.

He flipped up his license plate.

There’s a thing in Japan
where they take the license plate

and they bend it upwards
so you can actually see it

if you’re behind the motorcycle and stuff.

It’s a Yankee kind of thing to do.

It had a name, oh, I
forget what the name was.

But anyways, the volume of crime
increases the likelihood of getting caught.

So you want to commit one
crime and not have to do it again

or a few crimes in your life
very distant from each other.

So like once a decade
you commit a crime,

you’d have less
chance of getting caught

’cause there’s less for
them to put together

and figure out if you have
to commit a crime every week

or every day, the police are like, well,

we’re gonna find a pattern,
we’re gonna figure something out.

We’re gonna have all these
guys are getting caught

by a surveillance video if
we’re being really honest.

You’re gonna get surveyed
and then they’re gonna see

what you’re doing and then catch you.

They’ll probably just follow you home.

I don’t think I wrote this one down.

There was lots of crime stories this week.

There were actually too many,
but now they’re all in my head.

So I’m like, this is all interesting.

The links between them.

It was like two 14
year old kids like

smashed, did a smash
and grab basically

of jewelry store and the
police once they figured out

which way they left the
building just got on video

from different buildings
and just followed them

basically back to where
they live and arrested them.

But let’s get on to other old men
committing more crimes often poorly.

So we had a story a couple weeks ago

about a guy who was
just really exhausted

from work and I kinda
know how he feels.

He’s like, I don’t wanna
go to work anymore.

So he took a knife
and he put it up against

the wall and stabbed
himself in the back.

And then claimed he’d been,
there was an attempted murder

that he’d been attacked and then
he wouldn’t have to go to work.

And then they got the
surveillance video and found

that there was no other person
around and he just stabbed himself.

But seems that this
is not a unique incident.

There was a teacher who
said work was too tiring.

And I relate, like sometimes
you just get burnt out,

you’re tired, you don’t
wanna do this anymore.

What’s the solution?

My solution is usually,
if I can take a day off

and maybe the Japanese
solution is to drink

a lot and just burn
it out with alcohol.

Now this guy’s like, I’m
gonna call the school.

at 8 AM, so this is
before classes on the 25th.

This was the 25th, so
this is like last week.

And tell them, there
might be explosives

on the first and third
floor of the school

and in the gymnasium, if
classes don’t end by the morning,

you could be in danger, that is all.

This was not handled how I
thought it would be handled.

The school staff then searched
the schools and the gymnasium

and they concluded there was
no bomb and classes continued.

I would have called the police
because it’s a bomb threat.

And even if you know it’s fake,
you have to take it seriously

because there’s the off chance it is.

There was a package,
I think I’ve told

this like two, three
times on the podcast,

but how often does
this happen in your life?

There was a package in the
parking lot near my house.

And from my balcony, I could see it.

So I went out with my balcony and watched

as the police showed up
and it was pretty noticeable.

And the police were like,
this package had a note on it

and the note was vaguely threatening.

So they’re like, we don’t
know if this bomb or not.

And I watched them like, get the shield out

and the guy all armoured
up and he walked

up to it and like
poked it and stuff.

I couldn’t see very
well, was it night time?

But I could see kind
of like them approach

it and then back up
and then approach it.

Eventually a detective came to our house

and it’s like, look, we’re gonna
basically try to open this thing.

We don’t know what it is or what’s in it.

We could be a bomb, we don’t
think it is, but we wanna be safe.

So could you guys evacuate?

And we’re like, I can’t wanna watch.

But then of course
me standing on my

balcony and Shrapnel
hits me in the face

is one of the worst ways to die.

So I’m just like, okay, let’s
not like the way you die,

but the stories people
tell like this dumbass

was standing on his
balcony watching a bomb.

So we evacuated my family
like 20, 30 minutes later.

They’re like, it was just a
bag with some garbage in it.

And then again, the
note was just like some,

some person just put a note
on it to make it threatening

and has wasted
police resources so

they were gonna go
try to find that person.

Yada, yada, yada.

But they took it seriously.

This school did not.

The school’s like, hey, teachers
completely inexperienced

with actual bombs and
what they look like and stuff.

Let’s go take a look around
and see what happens.

And I guess don’t touch anything.

I don’t think that’s right.

The guy who called in the bomb threat,

he’d gone to a pay phone
relatively close to the school.

The police could figure out what
phone made the phone call, of course.

So they basically traced it back.

They got some security camera
found the guy making the phone call

and then him immediately
going to work afterwards.

He still had to go to work
and then he got arrested.

So his bomb threat didn’t
even give him a day off.

So not only is this a dumb
crime, it’s also poorly executed.

I am so judgmental of criminals
’cause if you’re gonna do this,

have a good plan and execute it properly.

I this might be why I’m
so fascinated with the guy

who was in Manila because
he’s organized a criminal empire

with a cell phone while in detention.

I don’t wanna show
any sort of respect for

him, but he clearly
knew what he was doing

and he kinda was doing it the right way.

I’m glad he got caught
and there got stopped

’cause I also, I
would like my crimes.

When I commit my crime, I want it
to be one where no one gets hurt.

I don’t wanna hurt another
person that commit a crime.

This might be another
thing that’s holding me back.

I’m not as cold-hearted as I need to be.

I would not want to
hurt someone else

physically for sure
to commit my crime.

I’m okay with threatening violence.

I’m okay with the threat of violence.

I don’t actually wanna hurt anybody.

You know what, this
isn’t about me and

that’s maybe why I
should just move on.

(upbeat music)

Okay, there was another
set of bomb threats.

So 300 schools and universities
received bomb threats

last week between Monday and Wednesday.

It kinda came through in waves.

Facts.

And that to me was the
only bit that I was like,

what, they facts the
schools of bomb threat?

They said it had a unique font.

Which I don’t know what that means.

I’m assuming they had to just put in a font

from some kind of plug
in on their computer, right?

‘Cause you’re not even, you’re not
getting, maybe they did print it out

and maybe they did the classic
like Pasting Magazine bits together.

Anyways.

It was facts to schools
from a number in Tokyo.

It demanded a ransom between
300,000 yen to 3 million yen.

I actually think maybe they
made a mistake on the first one,

’cause why would you
go with the low number?

They didn’t say how the person
was supposed to collect the money.

I think this was just a very
poorly thought out scheme.

And they hadn’t
thought through how to

actually, like should
they be successful?

I think this was more of a prank
than an actual attempt to get money.

I think they just wanted to be disruptive
because there was no plan in place

that we could see
or hear about where

the person actually
would end up collecting

if a school was going to give in
and actually give them the money.

So, man.

(phone ringing).

More threats?

Let’s just keep going.

It’s a theme.

This guy had a game on his phone.

It’s called “Majong Seoul.”

And he kept losing.

So he decided, you know, the way
to deal with when you’re losing it,

probably a very random game
that’s designed to make you lose.

A lot.

You should go to the
publisher’s homepage,

the computer game
publisher’s homepage.

And start sending
death threats, which

is a forcible
obstruction of business.

(phone ringing)

Hopefully you guys
watching on Twitch,

nothing happened,
but when I edit this,

I’m gonna put in a counter up there

in a little ding that says
obstruction of business.

‘Cause we’ve decided to
start keeping track of that crime

because it happens almost so much.

He confessed to actually
doing the death threats

because of his constant losses at the game.

I don’t know, man, you can’t invest.

I lost a lot of college duty.

You know what I did?

I stopped playing college duty.

‘Cause I’m mediocre at best.

I’m certainly not good.

I wasn’t gonna get any better
’cause I wanna put the time in.

So you stopped playing that game.

You’ll get some other game
that’s easier and more fun.

(phone ringing)

Okay, talking about angry people,

there’s a high school teacher
and he’s been suspended.

He’s been suspended for abusing
the handball team members.

And that’s terrible.

I don’t know why I find it funny.

I think it’s ’cause it’s handball.

And it’s not like I don’t
have any respect for handball,

but let’s face it, if you’re
gonna invest your life

into something and
get like abusive over it.

Choose a better sport.

It’s even saying that sounds shitty.

Handball is something you play for fun.

I assume there are professional
handball leagues and players,

but there’s a reason I’ve never
heard of them or thought about them.

Like there’s professionals
in almost every sport.

Not every sport gets
the same level of respect.

Okay, so there’s a handball team.

And this teacher has been assigned
the task of coaching the handball team.

He decides that the students
are making too many mistakes.

So he starts slapping
the students and

telling them to die
and calling the media,

it’s enthrowing the handball at their head.

Now, if you’re a really
good handball player,

you should either catch
or deflect that handball.

So that last one, I should not,

I don’t believe you should be
considered part of the abuse.

That should be just training.

Someone made an
anonymous call to the school

and the principal,
instead of actually,

dealing with this, decided
to give the teacher guidance.

And I think what that means
is they tried to cover it up.

This all came to light
very recently when

all six members of the
senior handball team

quit at the same day.

And then the teacher was called out.

And there’s been a press
conference and the teacher had to say,

I became frustrated by
the repeated mistakes.

And my first thought
was, dude, it’s handball.

Just let them have a good time.

This is a different philosophy.

It’s maybe cultural.

My daughter was doing
gymnastics, rhythmic gymnastics.

And she was having a good time.

She was a little kid.

Troll the Baton.

I actually liked really playing
with the ribbon on a thing.

You could wave it around.

I really enjoyed that.

So I would do that at home a lot.

She really liked it.

And it was really good for her.

And she was flexible.

And she was having a good time.

And it was athletic.

And then she got, I
think, I forget what year,

but it was like 10
years older or something.

They’re like, great.

If you want to go to the next
level, you have to come every day.

Now, we couldn’t
bring her every day

because we’re working
parents and stuff.

And we have jobs and lives.

And she also has other things to do.

We didn’t want her to dedicate
her whole life to rhythmic gymnastics.

We wanted her to go a couple of
times a week to do this healthy exercise.

That was fun.

So literally, they gave us an ultimatum

of it’s all rhythmic gymnastics
all the time or nothing.

So there was no sort of
class where you would go

for kids to actually just enjoy themselves.

You had to be dedicated to this to
become a professional rhythmic gymnast.

Which I assume is, I don’t know
if that’s the same level as him,

but I don’t know if there
even are professionals.

So we did the actually
only thing we could do.

We were putting an impossible situation.

We pulled her out.

So that gym makes slightly less money.

And I assume this happens regularly.

Like every time girls hit this
age, they’re giving this ultimatum.

And a significant
proportion of them, it’s

not that they even
don’t want to do it.

The parents can’t commit
the level of that amount of time.

‘Cause okay, I go to judo,

means I can’t take my kid to
rhythmic gymnastics that night.

Which means I have a
choice if I give up my hobby

’cause I’m not a professional judoka.

I don’t do judo all day every day.

But it’s the thing I do
for my health and fitness.

I’m supposed to give
that up and just sit

in a gym and watch
her every single night.

Even if I swap off with
my wife, it doesn’t work.

It just doesn’t work for most people
to do one thing every single day.

But that’s like in Japan,
they have this thing

where you either have to do
it super seriously or not at all.

And I see, again, like I
just mentioned, I do judo.

And you can see the
kids with the parents

who aren’t there
to have a good time

or learn a martial art or enjoy themselves.

They’re just like, they want
their kids to be world champions.

And I can tell you, these kids
are not gonna be world champions

’cause they’re
hating every minute

of it ’cause they’re
being forced into it.

They make like judo,
they don’t like it every day.

And they certainly don’t like their
parents shouting at them from the sides.

And this is sort of the same
thing, rhythmic gymnastics.

To me in my mind is a
fun version of gymnastics

that’s incorporating
dance to have a good time.

They didn’t see it that way.

This was a lifestyle
choice you had to make.

And it was going
to make your life or

break your life and
it broke our lives.

And my daughter doesn’t do rhythmic
gymnastics anymore, which kinda sucks.

Very light last story.

It all had the abuse of
tendencies kinda sucks, huh?

The Prime Minister’s son is his secretary.

So the Prime Minister
was out in another country.

I think he went to America, he went
to, oh no, they went around Europe,

a couple places in Europe.

And while they were there,
they have an official car.

So he used the official
car to go and do things.

Now a news story came out, a
magazine came out, this is a scandal.

He said he used the
government car for sightseeing.

And the government then
turned around and denied it.

He said he used the car
to take publicity photos.

So he was going to like the Eiffel Tower.

And he took a picture of the Eiffel Tower

to put on the official
Prime Minister’s Instagram,

and I’d say I don’t know
what they actually were doing.

Maybe it was for
publishing materials or

something, but I’ll just
give you an example.

And then you could put
it on that and go look,

the Prime Minister is here in
Paris doing this important thing.

He went to buy souvenirs,
which is in Japan,

a very important
thing to do for work.

So you buy souvenirs for your coworkers.

He’s gonna buy souvenirs
to give to people politically.

So it’s part of his job.

He claims he did no shopping for
himself, didn’t use any tourist facilities.

And I was like, I got Japan’s,
this takes everything a step further.

I’d be like, well, if he was at a
tourist place, officially taking photos,

what would be the
problem with him buying

a snack or doing
something like that?

And that’s again, it’s
very different in Japan.

That would not be acceptable.

I did the story, forget when now.

It was like maybe a
couple months ago,

where it was cops in
Japan are allowed to go

to convenience stores to buy a drink.

Like that’s how it, that’s
before they weren’t.

It was like they couldn’t in uniform go in

and just buy a drink
because they were thirsty.

You had to go and change so that
you didn’t look like you were slacking off.

So they take that really seriously here.

It’s a different, I got
a different mentality.

And that mentality maybe needs to
be adjusted for a new modern lifestyle.

So that kids can do
rhythmic gymnastics for fun

or play handball and not get
smacked in the back of the head.

Or if you’re in a very exciting new country

and doing some work and
then take a little side step

and they’re like, oh, I’d like
to take a picture for myself.

Don’t have everyone freak out.

I did take a moment and think, imagine
the level of scrutiny a US politician

would be comfortable with.

They could never
survive in Japan because

the level of scrutiny
he’s gone through.

So again, I think he was
probably taking pictures

and then maybe took
a couple pictures for

himself, which I
would not judge at all.

I don’t think any Western person would.

He probably went and bought souvenirs.

And yeah, if you’re buying souvenirs

and then you buy one extra
with your own money for yourself,

I would not say that was a bad thing.

Oh, I’m gonna buy five boxes
of these Parisian chocolates

for my father, who’s the prime
minister for his some of his coworkers

or other politicians he’s gonna meet.

I’ll slide one in there and I’ll pay
for it myself separately for myself.

It’s 10 seconds more.

I wouldn’t, as long as he’s not
using government money for it,

I have no problem with that at all.

I would like to see that level of scrutiny

in other countries
would be really interesting

’cause imagine the stuff they
would be judging Donald Trump for it.

‘Cause he’s basically been
caught committing crimes

and stuff and it’s just nothing happens.

I am waiting to see, the
most interesting thing

about America right now
is will they bring charges

and if they do, ’cause we
all know he’s actually guilty,

would they actually put him in prison?

I know it would be
a cushy prison, but I

would love to see
Donald Trump go to prison

and they keep hinting
at that they’re gonna

do it and they keep
pushing towards it.

If they put his kids in prison, I
think that would be pretty good

’cause then he would
have to reconcile that.

And probably distance himself?

Yeah, that’d be funny.

That literally just to me would be funny.

So, do we have a positive note?

Because of my start
with Mary Condo and

our philosophies must
have just over time

to suit our circumstances, but
we still must find joy where we are.

My joy, that my tippy-tappy dance
is going to be Donald Trump in prison.

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

[Music].

Cover your Orifii

(Electronic music)

Now let’s talk about the economy.

Woo!

If you’re here for the news, you know
you like to talk about the economy.

I’m gonna take it down a notch after that.

I was gonna start with a
song, but then it sounded racist.

Because I was gonna do a reggae style song

like a certain unmentionable
man had done in the past.

But I guess it was probably racist
when he did it, so me copying him

would make me racist,
so I’m not gonna do that.

We’re just gonna talk about the economy.

Prices in Japan are up
4% compared to last year.

And I have noticed that.

I actually have noticed
I’m spending more money

on just like the things I
used to buy used to buy.

Every Tuesday, so today is
Tuesday, I wanna record this.

I’m at home, kids are at
school, boy there’s a work.

I make dinner, so I would
go and buy stuff for dinner.

I’ve noticed that it is more expensive
just to buy basic items for dinner,

which has made me more conservative.

And that’s not a unique
thing to have happen.

Household spending
overall in Japan is down 1.2%.

If everything’s 4% more expensive, but that
means people are buying 1.2% less stuff.

This is problematic.

Because private spending
is nearly half of Japan’s gdp.

So basically Japan’s economy, if
Japanese people aren’t spending money,

then the gdp inherently goes down.

So this increase in
inflation is a bigger

problem than just things
are more expensive.

It means people are spending less money.

If people are spending less money,
the gdp of the country is decreasing.

Now this is led to government calls.

I believe we’ve actually
talked about this before.

Government calls for increases in salaries.

I thought this might
be like an endless cycle.

Inflation goes up, salaries go up,
but then that doesn’t mean anything.

It almost cancels each other out.

And then you can just do that infinitely,

but then you get into a
situation where like 1,000 yen,

which is sort of again, the really
quick equivalent would be $10.

You gotta use 10,000 yen equivalent to $10.

Inflation goes up, prices
go up, salaries go up.

It means nothing.

So part of my brain goes, why
don’t you just not do the inflation?

And then you don’t have
to give the salary increases.

Because if we do a pricing,

inflation of 4% and then a salary increase
of 4%, let’s say, it’s equivalency.

Just don’t do that in the first place.

I know economics is not that simple,
but economists often make it seem like

infinite growth is possible when it isn’t.

This is a problem with
the video game industry

and they think that
they basically are saying,

everything has to be more
successful than the previous thing

to count as successful, the problem being,
there’s only actually a finite of people

who play video games.

So you can only extract
so much money from them.

Therefore, there is not an infinite
well of money you can pool from.

So you have to actually start looking
at as what’s our upper limit, not infinite.

Anyways, they’re
calling companies are

being called to look
at their pay structures

as social responsibility.

Because if the workers don’t have
money, they’re not gonna spend money

’cause they need to save.

If they need to save, then the gdp
of Japan as a country goes down.

That’s the infinite loop
that we’re in right now.

This is being called new
capitalism by some corners, growth,

and it’s a growth and
redistribution policy.

Companies should monitor prices
and improve momentum of wage raises

so that people can continue spending.

The problem is this
isn’t how companies work.

Companies don’t tend to
work on social responsibility

or worry about the gdp,
they worry about themselves.

Companies in a capitalist
society are inherently selfish.

So if the government wants this
to happen, they have to force it,

but if they force it, they’re gonna
be overstepping their balance.

That is sort of the core
issues we’re dealing with

with this problem of
inflation versus wages.

Uniglo.

It’s actually a weirdly positive company.

So they come up as an example a lot.

Uniglo is looking to raise their
annual salaries by up to 40%.

Now that up to is very
important as a lot of heavy lifting.

Whenever something says up to, what
you actually have to read is less than,

I once had a juice that
had up to, it was like a drink,

and it had up to 10% real fruit
juice, but up to 10% could mean zero.

So when I looked at it, I was immediately
like, there may be no actual juice in this

because that is up to 10%.

It was a very interesting
way of wording it.

So that may be concerned.

So university grads, if
you get a job at uni-glow,

right now your base salary will be 255,000
yet, which is pretty close to average.

They’re gonna raise that to 300,000.

That is 16%.

So that’s probably most of their workers.

University graduates
get maybe a little bump,

but you can see what they’re doing is like,
okay, we’re gonna give the average worker

15 to 20% raise.

Store managers currently making
290,000 yen, they’re gonna get 390,000 yen.

That is 100,000 yen increase.

That is significant.

So uni-glow has taken on this sort of,

I don’t think they did it
because of the government,

but they realize like if we
want our workers to flourish,

they have to have money to flourish with.

There is an interesting, it
was spun very positively.

Ntt, the biggest mobile
communications network in Japan.

I said they’re going to move
from a seniority-based system.

So Japan is still very
much like the longer you stay

at a company, the more money
you make at that company,

even if you’re not very good at your job.

But that’s irrelevant because
if I’ve been here for 50 years,

maybe I’ve like absorbed
knowledge in it, something like that.

I don’t know.

They’re gonna change
to a merit-based system,

and I was like, “oh,
that sounds really good.”

And I thought about it more.

What does that actually mean?

Because what’s happening right now is
companies have this base salary system,

depending on how you’re working.

And if it’s going to be impacted by
inflation, so if inflation goes up 4%,

and the company I work for has to
raise my wages by 4% to match inflation,

that’s just less to say,
that’s the new standard.

And that’s not actually
what’s gonna happen.

My company’s not giving me a raise forever.

But let’s say that is what happens.

That’s going to affect your raises
and what not, based on inflation.

You don’t wanna have to react to inflation.

So if you make your raises and
payment system merit-based,

you can ignore the greater economy.

You can say, look, you’re getting paid
this much because of your performance.

If you’re a high performer,
yeah, you do deserve money.

That’s great.

But the average worker
probably will get nothing

because we don’t wanna reward averageness.

So I think, they’re framing
this as a very positive thing.

We’re doing away with the old system.

We’re going to a merit-based system
and everybody loves merit-based systems.

And then I was like, I think
this might be a way of them

to say, we aren’t going
to react to inflation.

We’re going to just
change our pay structures

so that we can
do it all internally

and then turn around and say,
no one has performed well enough

because of inflation, all
our profits have been down.

So that means no one’s
performed well enough.

Therefore, nobody gets a pay raise.

And that seems like the very sad state
of the economy in Japan at the moment.

(Phone ringing)

So you think that’s fun?

Now we’re gonna do international politics.

I gotta come up with
little theme songs now.

I realize that.

I need an economy song.

It gone me, the economy.

And then I need an
international no politics.

I seem to have a very scaw-based
sound for my theme intro, jingles.

I gotta take a little drink of
hot water before I move on.

Mm.

If you’re watching live, this is the
content that gets cut out everywhere else.

This is the stuff on twitch
that you come here for.

It’s the real raw look at
what a podcast construction is.

Mm.

Hot water.

Go smooth down the throat.

Get those sweet sounds out.

I think in about five minutes that
sun’s gonna come through my window.

So I’m gonna take care of that early.

This is the pump-a-do
section of the

podcast where you
get a look in behind like,

how does this magically come?

What does he do to block out the like?

He takes a work shirt and
he hangs it over the window

’cause the window above
my computer has no curtains.

So gotta make sure there’s a
sleeve, not in front of the camera.

All right, so we’re back.

We’re talking about international politics.

The work shirt as blinds, okay, I,
Jade, you’re one of my favorite people,

but you have to, okay, so you can see
in the back there’s blinds on the window.

I’m gonna give you a
little tour of my room.

Before I go on to the sorry,
since I’m like halfway out.

There’s blinds, there’s a big window there.

It’s really nice has curtains.

Little tiny window right
above the computer, nothing.

So what am I supposed to do?

And then the sun around
10 o’clock is 10 o’clock,

comes over that and then just
look at how bleached my face is.

So if I move over here, oh, this is sweet.

Look at that.

Like the camera can’t adjust for
this much washed out whiteness.

I am so white.

This is it.

This isn’t what nightmares are made of.

You can see the uv cut in my glasses.

The blue light cut is the yellow.

And then you can see how
much I need to fix my teeth.

(Laughs)

Uh, I am.

Sorry.

I am of the, oh, no, no, no, no.

I, not, white does not
even describe what I am.

I am the archetype of where
white people came from.

The gene pool, if the gene
pool was like one of those,

you know, on computers when they have like,
like, like, programs for like Photoshop

and they have that thing
is it’s white in this corner

and then like probably like a red in this
corner and then down here would be gray.

Here’s like, I’m up there.

I’m up in the corner that is just white.

I’m almost translucent.

I think you could make a lighthouse
by reflecting light off my face.

Okay, but I’m gonna go back to the podcast.

Ugh, that’s hot in my room.

It’s, we’re in this weird,
it’s like it’s cold outside.

But if I turn on the
heater, it’s too hot inside.

I’m pure as the dripper.

Snow is not pure.

Let’s be really clear about that.

White is the driven snow.

Yes, pure, not a word I would use.

Okay, international politics.

That’s the edit point.

For continuity, I shouldn’t have a sweater

that suddenly appear
’cause all this will get cut out.

I actually know on
YouTube I’ll leave this in.

It’s the audio part that’ll be cut out.

Then no one’s gonna see anything so.

International politics.

I have been framing international politics
throughout the entirety of this podcast

as high school drama, which
has been pretty descriptive.

And it’s because we’re dealing with
boisterous nations like north Korea.

Now this one isn’t north Korea as
China, but China does take a stance.

It seems like communist parties and these
sort of dictatorship-oriented countries

really feel free about
condemning other countries

about stuff they clearly do themselves.

China has gone through a big wave of covid.

In Japan, they just finished
their seventh or eighth wave.

I stopped counting.

It’s not really waves anymore.

It seems very random.

When I check the Tokyo
numbers, it is like 500,000, five.

Like they’ll do, they’ll like
fluctuate that much in a day.

So Japan said, look, China’s going
through a really big covid wave.

We’re going to have people who
want to go from China to Japan.

The covid test, have a negative
covid test before you leave.

Probably, when I went
to Canada and came back,

it had to be two days before I returned.

I needed a negative covid test.

China said that this is a discriminatory,

China said until discriminatory entry
restrictions against China are lifted,

China will stop giving
visa to Japanese

travelers, which is a
bit of an overreaction

because Japan’s not saying you
can’t come from China to Japan.

Japan’s saying, if you come,
you need to take a covid test,

which to me seems very
reasonable because I had to do it.

I came from Canada, which you would
consider a very friendly country to Japan.

Now, it was more short.

I guess it was, it wasn’t peak pandemic.

It was this summer, last summer break.

But I didn’t feel like that
was an unreasonable request.

I didn’t enjoy it.

I didn’t want to do it.

I didn’t want to spend the
$250, which turned into $500.

I had to do one for me and my daughter.

But I was like, yeah, you
don’t want to bring covid.

The whole problem is people traveled around

and that’s how covid got
around in the first place.

So my new Zealand did a fairly good job
because they were locking down the border,

so I didn’t want to end.

I said to do that at the
beginning, but Japan didn’t listen.

The government of Japan
doesn’t listen to this podcast

and that, I think, might be
one of the bigger problems

we have because I have solutions.

So the Japanese foreign minister,
he’s opposed to the Chinese restrictions.

The problem is the China, you being unhappy

with another country’s
decision is irrelevant,

but they always get, this is a
phrase that comes up all the time

and I’ve realized it’s just like a
standard phrase, extremely regrettable.

The Japanese foreign minister
finds the decision of China

to remove the possibility of visas

for Chinese people going to
China as extremely regrettable

and it seems like the harshest
language diplomats can take.

So really this is just a Chinese Japanese
foreign minister going like, fuck you guys.

And then north Korea uses
extremely regrettable for everything.

And the second thought is
they should actually lower the,

so extremely regrettable is
their strong version of language.

They should pull it back and I’m a
father and I’ve realized that’s a father.

So if I get really
rambunctious or voiceiferous

or I make a lot
of noise and stuff,

the kids don’t take me seriously.

But if I get quiet and sorry,
I go, not happy about that.

That has a big impact
and there was a story I read

and it was about world war ii and
they dropped f-bombs constantly.

So it was like, get your fucking gun,

get your fucking kit, get
your fuck fuck fuck fuck.

So fuck was a normal
part of an everyday order.

But when someone came to
the room and said, get your gun,

that had impact because dropping the f-bom

out of the sentence
meant that this was serious.

So on a normal day, a
normal order, you’d say fuck.

But then when it got
serious, you dropped it.

So I was like, oh, what
depends, what they need to do.

It’s actually drop back the lame.

So it’s not extremely
regrettable, you go, that’s too bad.

And sound disappointed, but then
they’ll be like, oh, what does that mean?

I think that actually
might have some impact.

It’d be interesting to see what happens.

(Phone ringing)

Still on international politics.

The ex president of Russia, the
Japan, the prime minister, kishita,

he said, I’m gonna go to america, we’re
gonna have a little meeting with biden.

You gotta, you know, work shit out.

‘Cause we’re gonna solve problems.

And they said, man, if Russia
nukes Ukraine, that’s bad.

Okay, that is the depth of
this statement they made.

If Russia nukes Japan, that’s bad.

That’s, I mean, I think they
said it in a more political way.

But the ex president of Russia, of Russia,

was like, this statement
is completely unacceptable.

You can’t tell US what to do.

You can’t tell US not to use your weapons.

You’re having a meeting with a country that
has just suspended nuclear weapons as US.

What do you get in all of
the up in our faces about?

So the Russian ex president says, the
Japanese prime minister should commit

a ritual suicide at the next
cabinet meeting in Japan.

That’s the only way he
could wash away the shame

of the statement,
the statement being,

please don’t use nuclear
weapons in Ukraine.

I was like, this is what I’m saying.

Like the level, is it hyperbole?

The level of theater these
guys use in their language.

Gets to the point where it’s nonsensical?

Like, nukes are bad.

You should kill yourself for that.

Apparently that’s what, but then,

so the Japanese do supposed
to commit ritual suicide, sipaku.

But you need to say
anything about the biden?

So the president, he’s like,
well, I guess they don’t have that,

I guess you have that in your
culture, so it’s a fair thing to say.

Like, so here’s a question
that I would love to have

someone ask him, do you
think he’s really gonna do it?

I mean, they don’t do that anymore.

It’s not a thing anymore, but
did you think he was gonna be like,

oh man, the ex-president
Roger said, I should go kill myself.

All right, at the next cabinet meeting,

I guess I’m gonna go kill myself
in the next cabinet meeting.

And then if you did it,
like, would you be like,

yeah, Japan’s washed away their shame.

I don’t know what this was supposed to do.

It just didn’t, it’s again, it’s, it
doesn’t make any sense to me.

That’s, I think that’s where
we are, international politics.

When we get to this level,
there’s so much theater involved.

I don’t actually know what
people are saying anymore.

I don’t know what people mean anymore.

That might be why I actually said it,

or recently, like, they
should bring it down a notch

so that it can actually
start to make sense again.

(Phone ringing)

We have talked about the
emergency services video function

that was added to
Japan’s emergency services,

services recently, it was
in October and November.

In October and November,
they read 622 calls,

and they weren’t calls,
they were video calls.

And the reason really for
doing this is young people,

generally, that’s how, if they’re going
to make a call, they make a video call.

So that’s how, what they know how to do.

So they’re like, we have to adapt.

And this is an interesting thing,

’cause you have two very
big sort of stradas in Japan.

You have old people who don’t
know how to use any technology.

And you have young people who kind
of only know how to use technology.

There was an interesting story.

It was in america, and
it was a guy got arrested,

and he didn’t know how to use a phone book,
’cause he’d only ever use the Internet.

So it became a legal right
that they had to have access.

So he’s like, you can
make your one phone call.

Here’s a phone book.

He’s like, I don’t know
how to use, what is this?

I’ve never seen this thing before.

This giant book you’ve
just put in front of me.

So the police were like, okay, well,
we have to let them access the Internet

to be able to contact someone.

So that’s when a phone
call became a broader thing.

It was like, you have to
be able to contact someone

so you can send an email or something.

I don’t know exactly
what the specifics were,

but they did broaden the scope
of what your one phone call

actually entailed and how
you can access the phone,

because they found
that it’s not really fair

if young people don’t know how to use a
phone book that you give them a phone book.

So this was about like since young people

know how to make video calls and
they want you helpful, let’s give it a try.

So they got 622 calls, which is awesome,

but they actually caught
some fleeing suspects

because while they were
on the emergency call,

the guy was like, well, pointed at
the car so I can see their license plate

and they got like a
screenshot of the license plate.

So they were able to catch
some people who did hit and runs.

The one I found most interesting, they
had a hiker who got stranded on a mountain

and they used the video
call to help identify the area

so the people could find them more quickly.

So it was really good, first of all,

that they had cell service,
that was the important part.

But the fact that they had cell service,
they were like, okay, take your camera,

I’m like, look around and then, oh,
someone’s gonna recognize that mountain

so you’re looking at
that mountain, so you’re

this way and then,
oh, look over there,

they could kind of
triangulate where they

were because they
could see the surroundings

and they helped save someone’s
life, which I thought was really nice.

But this did lead US to a couple
of other stats which are interesting.

There were 1.63 million calls to
the non-emergency number in Japan.

It was mostly drunk people asking for taxis

or people complaining
about traffic tickets.

1.6 million.

So I would not want to be the
person on the other end of that phone.

Let’s just make that statement out there.

When I’m looking for my job career change,

it’s not going to be the person
on the non-emergency line.

(Phone ringing)

Japan’s a very gun-safe country and I like
to illustrate that by the kind of stories

that make the news in Japan.

So a 56 year old cop accidentally,
okay, let’s actually just do the story.

Somebody has been bugging me,
his new story is lead with the bit

so you don’t have to read the article or
as I actually want to go through the steps

and then get to the bit.

So 56 year old cop is at the
Tokyo airport police station

and they’re, oh, it’s time to
take the bulls out of my gun.

So they go to take it out of
the hole so it holds your stiff.

So they yank it out really hard.

It bangs the table and goes off.

Now I was a little confused by that.

My understanding is that
guns are inherently designed.

So in the movies you drop a
gun and it goes off and kills a guy.

That actually happens quite a lot.

My understanding is that
in real life guns are designed

to not, if you bang though, just go off.

So I was thinking, was the gun cocked
and the table hit the hammer of the gun

and then it went off?

Or did the person pulling the gun from the
holster have their finger on the trigger

and then when he hit the
table pulled the trigger?

They didn’t explain any of that.

Well, the explanation
was the holster was stiff.

So I, when I pulled the gun out,
pulled it full force and hit the table.

But that makes me
think they had their finger

on the trigger as they
pulled out their gun.

So no one was hurt, nothing happened.

That’s it.

So like in other countries,
you’d be talking about

like a shooting in the airport,
how many people died in Japan.

Basically nothing happened.

And because a gun was
discharged, it became a news story.

And that is, honestly, one of
the reasons why I think gun control

works because that’s
the news story of the day.

[Music playing]

Ok, we’re getting to
local sort of smaller news.

But shogi players– now you would imagine
shogi’s a kind of chess, Asian chess.

I don’t know if it’s just Japanese.

I think it is, but I
don’t want to say that.

I don’t want to actually make a mistake.

Shogi players, chess players–
if you think about the chess

player personality, you would
think of a relatively pedantic person.

I think that is a fair thing to say.

Shogi players are no different.

They are very pedantic.

So this was a high level tournament.

They had like 6, 10, 7, 10.

I didn’t know what any of that meant.

But it’s the high level.

And then one guy goes, look, that
dude’s not wearing his mask properly.

He’s actually got a mask on, but
it’s covering his mouth, not his nose.

Now, anyone who’s wearing a mask properly
knows that it has to cover all the orify.

I do like pluralizing with the
eye more than anything else.

It has to cover all the
orifices on your face,

as in your mouth, and both your nostrils.

Not your ears or your nose or your eyes.

So he said, like, dude, please put
your mask on properly, cover your nose.

The guy ignored him.

So he did set it a couple more times.

The guy ignored him.

He calls a ref.

He’s like, ref.

Dude’s not wearing his mask properly.

And then the ref says,
dude, you got to wear a mask.

He says, I’m wearing a mask.

There is no rule that
bands exposing your nose.

So the rule is you have to
wear a mask, which would literally

mean interpretation wise.

I could put a mask on the
top of my head, cover nothing

on my face, and that
would follow the rules.

So again, these guys are being pedantic.

The ref being a little more
spirit of the rule rather than

letter of the law,
said, you’re disqualified.

Now, the guy left the venue
and he said, I understand.

I will follow a lawsuit.

If your behavior gets you
to a point where you feel you

need to sue people
for doing things like this,

there may be a moment in your life
where you have to stop and say, am I right?

So the actual– I did
look up the law, the rule.

And the rule is players must wear masks
during matches, except for brief moments.

And what they mean is, I’m wearing a mask.

We’ve been here for
two hours playing chess.

I can take off my mask and take a
drink, and then I put my mask back on.

So that’s the brief exception
where you do not wear a mask.

But this guy decided he
doesn’t want to wear a mask.

This is actually the second time.

It seems like showy
players are not anti-maskers,

but they– I guess they want
to have sort of their nose open

so they can breathe so
they can get more oxygen

or their brain so they
can be more effective.

Drink through the mask.

You could filter out all the bad stuff.

You put the mask on and
just open your mouth inside.

You’ll get some.

But it was just one of those
things that’s just ridiculous.

So I enjoyed that story, because I
just enjoyed the idea of showy players

being super pedantic about everything.

Traditionally, the last story in
ninja ninja Japan is creepy guy time.

It’s not even creepy
gender-neutral person time.

It’s a creepy guy time.

It’s always a dude.

I have put a kibosh on panty theft stories,

and a couple other things like
that that just show up too often,

only because they’ve become too repetitive.

But this creepy dudes– they always find
a new and interesting way to gross me out.

So I’m glad I can look at
that for the rest of my life

and know that I will never be surprised
by how creepy and gross guys can be.

Jr is Japan rail.

So it’s a train station staff.

And he was asked to guide
a visually impaired woman

to the platform, maybe back to the exit.

So just be a good person and help out
someone who struggles every now and then.

The woman then accused
him of sexual harassment.

What?

How is the even possible men
have never sexually harassed anyone

in the entirety of human history?

He claims that because he
had helped her several times

that they were just being friendly.

Now, I don’t want to judge, although
you know clearly I already have.

I don’t want to judge that
the man is overestimating

what is appropriate in
a friendly relationship.

I deal with people all the time.

And yes, I deal with people multiple times.

I sometimes make a racy joke, perhaps.

I don’t actually, because I get in trouble.

So I was like, ok, we got
to find out what he said.

What did he say?

Did he cross the line?

So was he being friendly?

Or was he sexually harassing?

So the first thing he said is, what
time are you coming home today?

Now that, I was like, oh, it
could be interpreted both way.

Like, oh, I’ll be around
when you come home.

So I will help you again.

Very nice thing to say.

Or it could be I’m a stalker and
I’m trying to find out your schedule.

Ok, he accidentally
didn’t say just that though.

He said, let’s go to a
new ramen restaurant.

That’s not ok.

So I think we’ve already crossed the line.

Like, he’s asking her to go with him.

Now, if you want to be generous, we don’t
have to be, because he ruins it later.

If you want to be generous, you could
say he is just recommending a restaurant.

And as a friend, he’s
saying, because they’ve

become very friendly,
let’s go to a ramen together.

I think we both all know that
that’s not what’s happening.

But I’m trying to give him
the benefit of the doubt

just so that his last line kills it harder.

She says, I’d like to go to the elevator.

And he said, oh, if we take the
stairs, I can give you a piggyback.

Piggybacks in Japan.

Now, you might be thinking
that that is weird thing to say.

You could interpret
that as kind of innocent.

Maybe a weird joke.

In Japan, piggybacks are sexual.

In anime and stuff, what you see
are usually girls who love a guy.

And then the guy– they
hurt their foot or something.

There is some mechanic in which they
have to– they have struggled to walk.

And the guy gives him a piggyback.

And then she’s laying sort of her head
on the back of his head or on his shoulder.

And it’s the closeness.

And in Japan, that is not sexual, but
it’s a precursor to a sexual relationship,

if I could put it that way.

I think the thing in itself is not sexual,

but it shows where
this relationship is going.

So there is a sexual undertone to it.

There’s a lot of things like that.

On in Japan, several times I’ve
explained the long distance kiss.

And it’s the idea that I
have my cup of hot water

to keep my voice smooth and romantic.

I take a drink.

And my lips have touched it.

And then I share the
drink with someone else.

And their lips touch the same thing.

So in a very metaphysical way, our
lips have touched in a long distance.

They call that the long distance kiss.

So you can see we’re not kissing,

but there is a sexual
undertone to these other things.

So not the indirect kiss.

That may be the case.

I heard it.

So the way it was explained
to me was long distance.

I just really like that term as well.

So indirect kiss– it means the same thing.

It means you’re not actually kissing,
but your lips are touching the same thing.

So I think we’re on the same page.

But at long distance, I
think I really enjoyed that.

So he said, like I’ll give you a piggyback.

Weird.

Again, has an already crossed a line.

But then the last line, he said,
was, isn’t your chest heavy?

I can carry it for you.

So as generous as we might want to
be, like let’s say we’re in a court of law.

And the guy says, oh, I
was just being friendly.

You could try to interpret
those first two examples

as just friendly and
maybe get away with it.

But isn’t your chest heavy?

I can carry it for you.

I think is not something that
friends would say to each other,

even if it wasn’t an on-set.

Like I’m sorry, I just did.

Again, like I said, he has
sabotaged his own defense.

If his defense was, I
was just being friendly.

His statements would have
had to remain relatively neutral.

And perhaps that’s why the
guy is gross and hitting on people

is because he doesn’t
know how to hit on people.

He doesn’t know how to formulate
that relationship in the first place.

Jadus put in, look,
he’s just being a homie.

Big boobs are heavy.

Back pain is real.

I actually do have some friends who’ve
told me that, yes, the back pain is real.

And yet, I never offered to
carry their boobs for them.

So I think with that beautiful sonata
playing around in the back of your head,

we’re going to end
today’s ninja ninja Japan.

[Music playing]

[Music playing].

Aggressive Self Defense

(Electronic music)

We have some education updates.

Yay.

The government has asked boards of
education to make revisions to their rules.

Now they have a thing in Japan
called black rules and black companies.

Black companies, basically a black company,
this is where it sort of originated,

the terminology it came from, is a
company that you know abuses its staff

and tries to cheat you out of money.

And it does all the bad things.

It’s a bad company.

So they’ve employed that
terminology for other things

and so they have the black rules.

Now we’ve done several stories.

There was the rule that
some high schools had

that part of the
uniforms that you had to

wear, white underwear,
which brought up the,

basically human rights issue or
privacy issue of, how do you check?

There was a school a little while ago who
basically got sued because when this girl

was in high school, the school said, you’re
not allowed to date, she started dating,

and instead of sort of dealing with
that, the court said like you have a right

as a board of education
to say kids can’t date,

but instead of sort of dealing with it, you
forced the kid to stop coming to school,

that sort of beyond
your educational purview.

Then there was the girl
with naturally brown hair

and the school rule is that
you have to have black hair

so it made her dye her hair black

and it actually did damage
to her hair and her scalp.

She sued the school board.

The government has said, please review your
school rules so you’re not being dicks.

Now they phrased it slightly differently,
but that is basically what they’re saying.

Please review your school rules.

84% of education boards are
reviewing the rules on white underwear.

The government asks boards
to make revisions themselves,

but that means the government
isn’t making them make revisions

and they’re not putting up national
standards of what appropriate rules are,

which leaves a percentage
of schools that are not.

So that’s actually, so
84% are specifically looking

at the white underwear
rule, how it’s been enforced,

hasn’t been enforced, maybe
we should just get rid of that rule.

I actually suggested when
I first talked about this,

very simple change to the
rule would be, don’t check.

So basically you make
the rule if I as a teacher

can see your underwear somehow
through your uniform, it’s inappropriate.

So therefore if I can’t
see it, it’s not a problem,

which is actually how underwear works.

And that solves the problem because
basically I can say as a teacher,

look, I could see the students underwear,
maybe I could see it through the uniform

or I could see like bits were sticking
up or something, I could see it, it’s bad.

But if I can’t see it, I
don’t know what color it is,

I assume therefore it’s
a hearing to all the rules.

That still leaves a percentage
of schools that are not,

because the government has
not made this anyway enforceable,

it’s just a recommendation.

This has meant there are
certain percentage of schools

that are not going to
check or revise the rules,

which means in a weird way,
good for an English-nus Japan,

’cause year from now we’re
gonna get another story

about some kids sitting at school for
something that is honestly quite stupid.

But that’s just what keeps me going.

That’s terrible, I don’t wanna, I
actually, in a weird way, like news.

So this is all, it’s not news parody show,
but it’s like I do light news for fun.

It would be really nice if I
could struggle to find the news,

and then I would have to shut down the show

because the world is
so perfect, but of course,

as never gonna happen, people
are always gonna be weird.

(Upbeat music)

Speaking of weird, you
might remember the guy,

he was a teacher, this is
sort of education related

which why stuck these two together.

It’s also an update.

You might remember the
guy who was a teacher,

he went into a convenience
store, he had a bought a condom.

I don’t know why it’s weird
buying them individuals weird.

He said to the staff, I
would certainly enjoy

a touch of masturbation
right now, sort of in the mood.

Can I use your toilet?

Staff said no, apparently this
wasn’t the first time he did it.

But what is the fallout from that?

So he was basically
booted out of the

store, they called the
police and were like,

you can’t come in here
and ask to masturbate,

there’s something
wrong about that.

He was fired.

So there was nothing
really to arrest him for

because all he did was make a
request and that request was refused.

So he therefore had to leave.

But this attitude, this pervasive attitude,
this sort of way of living your life,

didn’t mesh with the
education board in Japan

and the school board found
out because it was national news.

Guy lost his job.

I mean, yes, I think it’s okay.

I don’t think this is the kind of person
who should be working with kids anyways.

Although at the same time, I don’t want,

god, should I be, should I
be like defending this guy?

No, absolutely not.

He wasn’t abusive.

He just asked a question and
then was told no and that was it.

You could argue that that’s not so bad.

Asking and then having someone refuse and
then you actually accepting the refusal,

in a weird way is how
it’s supposed to work.

But I feel dirty saying that.

Like I actually feel dirty saying that,

’cause it’s not, in this case,
I guess it’s not okay to ask.

That’s the problem.

The asking is the problem.

‘Cause I think maybe the
asking has an implication within it

and then you also as the staff member
know what’s going on in the bathroom.

So maybe that’s it.

It took me a moment to get there, sorry.

Yes, okay, I think the problem isn’t

that he asked and was refused
and then it sort of behaved

appropriately by leaving and not doing it.

The problem is the asking in itself
has an inherent implication, which is not.

It’s don’t do that.

Okay, yeah, I think we’re
on the same page now.

I don’t know why it took
me that long to get there.

I think it was hard for me to.

To lose a date to express
coherently why this was wrong.

But it’s because it’s not just asking.

It’s asking and putting an imposition on
another person and that’s why it was fired.

(Phone ringing)

So Japan has come up with its
new sort of self-defense thing.

It talks about that last time.

Sorry, everything on my desk has changed.

I’m moving everything around.

So I’m trying to find a
place to put my notes

so they’re still in front of me
without hitting the microphone

’cause that’s been a problem lately.

We had the conversation a little while ago,

Japan is talking about
increasing self-defense

and this is basically
we wanna have missiles

that can shoot other
stuff out of the sky

if it comes into Japanese airspace.

But then if someone shoots a missile,
someone shoots a missile towards Japan,

we should be able to not
only shoot up down that missile

but also the place it came from,
that still counts as self-defense.

And a lot of people are like, whoa,
that is very aggressive self-defense

you have going on there.

And we all know exactly
who we’re talking about.

The way they wanna pay
for this is through corporation,

taxation and taxes on cigarettes.

It’s going to double military spending.

Apple Japan was just hit
with 14 billion yen in back taxes

which is essentially
now 100% military funding.

I wouldn’t do it if anyone
was ’cause I edit all this, okay?

So all this like dumb shit i’m
doing right now, I get to edit it out.

And I’m wondering if people
like who watch the YouTube

which is still only like four people.

People watch the YouTube if they’re like,

the editing must be insane
’cause it’s me sitting talking

and then just big cuts and
then me sitting with a dog

on my lap, oh he’s very warm though.

It’s quite nice.

You’re gonna try to
keep him here for a bit.

It means I have to look down at my
desk so I can’t hold my notes anymore.

No dude, just stay still.

Okay, where are we?

That 14 billion yen in back taxes,
I gotta set this up somewhere.

This is the next step is
to put my notes somewhere

like where they’re standing
up so I can just look at them.

Newsreaders put it like
it’s sitting under the camera

so when they read does that,
mm-hmm, mm-hmm, like that.

That’s actually what I need to do.

I was looking at teleprompter
programs like just go to the studio note

but then I just think put it in a
point form and just do it that way.

I still might try that.

But I read all my notes.

That’s all just written out by hands.

(Sighs)

I kinda wanna start again but
we’ve already done 12 minutes

and the editing is gonna be a nightmare.

Actually maybe that’s
why I should just start again.

Nah, let me keep going.

I like the power through.

The 14 billion yen in back taxes is
based on the improper duty free sales

of iPhones to foreign tourists.

So basically tourists were coming to Japan.

They were buying an iPhone
but they were not paying taxes

on it because foreign
people don’t have to pay taxes

but this is not, maybe
the way they were selling it

wasn’t appropriate so it wasn’t
supposed to be sold that way.

So they have to pay that back
taxes, they have to pay the back taxes.

The back taxes then
now will go to self-defense.

The self-defense being
the ability to attack facilities

in other countries which is really scary.

But then of course everyone
knows, including north Korea,

knows who we’re talking
about as north Korea.

North Korea of course could not let
this stand and had to make statements.

Now one of my favorite things is the
way north Korea phrases statements.

I don’t know how good, the
translations must be good.

I don’t know how good they
are but they’re always awesome.

So this is the North Korean government

government foreign
ministry made this statement.

Japan’s foolish attempt to
satiate its black-hearted greed,

the building up of its
military invasion capability

under the pretext of
north Korea’s legitimate

exercise of the
right to self-defense

cannot be justified and tolerated.

I love that because, okay,
Japan is getting all antsy

because north Korea keeps shooting
its missiles over and around Japan.

And so if they would stop, Japan actually
probably wouldn’t be doing this military

strike capability thing.

North Korea is using
the exact same argument.

We’re not attacking anyone.

We’re exercising our right to self-defense.

Whereas Japan’s saying
the exact same thing.

We’re exercising our right to self-defense.

But it’s one of these things,
these dictatorships and stuff.

They say literally the
opposite of what we’re doing.

Missiles shooting over
countries is not self-defense.

And I actually think that
missiles being able to hit places

that shoot missiles isn’t
really self-defense either.

It’s a pretty extreme
version of the definition.

North Korea continues.

Our country will continue
to take actions to show

how much we are concerned and displeased
with Japan’s unjust greedy attempt

to realize its wild ambitions.

Even just the way they say it,
it’s very poetic, I quite like that.

The other threat at the moment, I mean,
sorry, Dave’s making little happy noises.

China had to weigh in as well.

And the Chinese foreign
ministry spokesperson said,

“the hyping up of the
so-called China threat,

China has been flying
airplanes into Japanese airspace,

bringing boats in around the islands up
north, doing all the things you would do

if you’re going to
threaten another country.”

Hyping up the so-called China threat

to find an excuse for Japan’s
military buildup is doomed to fail.

So really, yes, I’m not
happy about any of this.

I’m not happy about this
because I don’t like to see

military buildup because military buildup

does mean that eventually
someone wants to pull a trigger

and that’s not cool, but
the saber rattling statements

from countries and the disingenuous nature

of all those statements
is always entertaining.

We talked about a politician.

He was a youtuber and he
left Japan to go to live in Dubai

where he could still YouTube.

And what he does is he
exposes celebrity scandals.

He says if he comes back to
Japan, he’s going to be arrested.

So he’s not coming back to Japan,

but he decided to run for
government from Dubai on the Internet.

And he won.

So officially, this guy named
gassi is a Japanese politician,

but he does not live in Japan.

Gassi has been asked to come
back for voluntary question,

sorry, gassi has been
asked to come back to Japan

for voluntary questioning for
inflammatory posts, which is also slander.

A slander is illegal in Japan.

So basically they’re saying you come back

for voluntary questioning
and deal with these sort of like

things you’ve been posting on the Internet.

Whereas he’s saying if I come back,
they’re absolutely going to arrest me.

So it’s not in my best
interest to come back.

Since he’s been elected
to the government,

some celebrities have
submitted complaints,

claiming slurs and extortion.

So there’s actually the
secondary complaint that maybe

he’s been like blackmailing people.

If you pay me money, I won’t
publish this YouTube video.

But it seems like gassi is on the edge
of not being in the government anymore,

because sooner or later he’s
either going to have to come back

and deal with this stuff, or
they’re just going to boot him out.

(Phone ringing)

All right, we got some
work related issues in Japan.

Get my notes, I’m holding a dog
and trying to get my notes together.

There was a man who was, he
said he was exhausted from work

and he didn’t want to
come into work anymore.

So at 1.20 A.M., he called the police.

He’s been stabbed and he’s like, oh
god, I’ve been stabbed in the back.

I can’t go to work anymore.

When the police checked video
cameras that were in the area,

what they saw was, there
was no one else around him.

He had just been magically stabbed.

He was really stabbed, magically
stabbed in the back by himself.

And what he did was he
put a knife up against a wall

and walked back into it really
hard to stab himself in the back.

And he did this because he
didn’t want to go to work anymore.

He said he was exhausted from work.

So he stabbed himself in the back.

Now honestly, the
extremity of what he’s doing,

I would say yes, he really
shouldn’t have to go back

to work anymore because
he’s clearly actually exhausted.

They didn’t say what he does.

I really want to know what job
has made this man so exhausted

that he actually thought
faking his own attempted murder

was the best solution to the problem.

But the result is that he’s actually been
charged with interfering with police duties

because he’s basically filed a false
report and had taken up the police’s time

for a murder that never actually existed.

But he should take some
lessons from the next two guys

we’re gonna talk about
who found ways to

sort of alleviate the
stress of work at work.

And nagoya civil servant has been suspended

for surfing adult sites
while earning overtime.

So he claims he did it for relief.

Which if we’re being honest, is the number
one reason why you would surf adult sites?

You do it for relief.

He apparently spent, so computers and
government agencies are well monitored.

He spent 114 hours of
non-work related sites.

Now that’s not all porn.

58 of those hours were on adult sites
and eight hours of those were overtime.

So basically he was staying late at work

and looking at porn on the
work computer in his office.

And seemed to, so it’s bad to
look at non-work related sites.

But I think everyone does it.

I certainly do a lot of reading to keep
myself sort of aware of what’s going on.

I do a lot of news and stuff.

I probably could get away
with saying it was work related

but then I would have to stop.

These are going to be working for
the government, very different thing.

So non-work related sites would be pretty
obvious if you work for the government.

But then the porn sites
are going to be obvious.

The eight hours of overtime though,

like staying late in the office
when everyone else leaves

and then looking at porn
on your office computer,

that is being monitors
because they all are.

Like let’s just be really clear.

Government computers
are all monitored all the time.

It’s actually amazing.

I guess it’s not because they weren’t
really looking for him specifically.

So once he got past the hundred
hour Mark of just surfing the Internet,

yeah, then it would be problematic
and it maybe would show up.

‘Cause you could also claim, like I could
walk away from my computer and leave it on

and claim that someone
else was looking at stuff

from my computer, so
maybe they would need also

to collect enough evidence
to make sure it was me.

So something to be aware of.

But you know, he was getting relief at work

so he didn’t try to fake his own
attempted murder so he’d get out of work.

But then we have our final guy.

A Yokohama government
employee has been disciplined

for spending 275 hours playing
games at work on a work computer.

So this is a 50 year old section chief
and he said, when he got in trouble,

he said, “I started
playing games to freshen

up as I thought it
would be okay to do so

for a little bit as it
didn’t affect my work.”

Between December 2021 and
August 2022, he played for 150 days.

Now that’s not 150 actual days.

There were 150 days he played.

But he played for 30
minutes to three hours a day.

And what actually, so it was
like, how did you get caught?

So like was this a, was this monitored?

Again, like the other guy
was the computer monitored.

This is important to keep
your coworkers happy.

So you may think like, I hate my coworkers,

I hate them all, I don’t
wanna like make anyone happy.

It’s important to keep
them happy to a degree

because another employee
actually reported this section chief.

I had heard the clicking sound too
many times, which I thought was unnatural.

When I observed him, he was playing games.

I’m betting he was playing sort of
the standard like solitaire mind sweeper.

The games that are already installed on
pretty much every computer by default.

So this man, he was caught playing games.

What is the punishment?

So he’s not actually getting fired.

What he’s gonna get is a
10% pay cut for five months.

Now I would like to work
out how much was he paid

for the 30 minutes to three
hours a day for 150 days

that he was actually playing
games instead of working?

Does that work out to
an equivalency of the 10%

pay cut for five months?

I bet it’s pretty close.

So basically the government is just saying,
okay, you’re gonna work exactly the same.

I assume you’re not
gonna play games anymore.

Therefore we make our money back and
you’ve learned not to play games anymore.

Which I think is a pretty fair punishment.

I mean, I think Japan
for whatever fault it has

as a culture, most of the
punishments are pretty fair.

It tends to be a lot
softer than other countries.

But again, should you lose your
job for playing games at work?

Probably not.

Honestly, he was ticking
around ’cause he’s 50.

I’m 50.

He’s ticking around ’cause he
probably doesn’t want to work anymore.

Like that other guy, man,
he’s just exhausted from work.

He just needs a break.

But yeah, three hours a day is a lot.

So what we have learned though
is if you’re gonna get a job in Japan,

especially working for the government,

just remember, government
computers tend to be monitored

almost more than anything else.

So just be careful with your
non-work related porn viewing.

Certainly don’t do it as overtime.

Your non-work related web searches
and your non-work related game play.

(Upbeat music)

(Upbeat music).

We’re not going to talk about 24

I think we are on the corona train, or cruise, in this case, until the country just figures out that you don’t go out for drinks and get sick or make people sick. That and there seems to be a booming shoe theft underworld going on.

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