ENEOS CEO EW

(upbeat music)

Anyos is a giant Japanese oil company
and like all oil companies, it’s run by.

You know, just the best people, the
most noble, honorable, upright people.

Unfortunately, the president of Anyos
recently got drunk and hugged a woman.

Anyos has in place a
whistle-blowing system.

So outside lawyers investigated
the claim and the president was fired.

Last year, the then president was also
fired for sexually harassing a bar hostess.

Anyos made a statement, I assume,
as they don’t have a president right now,

so for a representative,
not the new president.

And if they’re looking for a president,

I’ve never been accused of
sexually harassing anybody.

Just let me put that out there.

Anyos, if you need a guy
who is not a sexual harasser,

who knows that sexual harassing people
will get you in trouble, I know that.

And I would be more than
happy to take on the role

of president of Anyos and
not sexually harass anyone.

I can’t say I won’t commit other crimes,

but I can promise you I will
not sexually harass anyone.

A representative of the company came forward
with an apology, pretty standard stuff,

which at this point, the apologies mean
anything, but I guess they have to do it.

Is this extremely regatta,
mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm.

It is, it is, can’t get, can’t
get the first words out.

Okay, it is extremely regrettable.

The scandals like this have happened
at our company two years in a row.

Yes, is there any way that
could have been avoided

by maybe hiring people who aren’t pieces
of shit who work in the oil industry?

I have a negative image of
people who run oil companies.

Let’s just, I’m going to put my bias out
there upfront, just so everyone knows.

I don’t think they hire the
best people to run oil companies.

We apologize for the trouble.

We have caused our stakeholders.

I found that last sentence, last word
even, very something worth noticing,

because they didn’t apologize to the
women who were sexually harassed.

They apologize to the
stakeholders in the company.

So the shareholders, people have
investments in the company, why not?

They, they didn’t say sorry, the ladies.

Now, I’m sure that these
ladies who are harassed,

they’re going to get
paid because any of us

is admitted that this
has happened is true.

These guys have lost their jobs.

So they have a civil case.

They could, they could get their money.

But yeah, you can see the person,
this kind of is going to my whole thing.

I don’t think good
people run oil companies.

I bet there was no thought
that we need to apologize

to the women who were victimized in this
situation by the president of the companies.

In fact, I don’t even know
why they’re speaking up at all.

They should have been
thankful that the president

of an oil company was
paying them attention.

I bet that is actually the thoughts
that are going through their head.

But it looks bad.

So we got to say sorry
and for all the trouble

that this has caused
the stakeholders in the

company not the actual
women who were harassed.

Now, Jaxa, the Japanese
space agency wants to develop

satellites that become sort
of an earth defense system

that are capable of crashing into asteroids
that might have like a life ending event

and extinction level
event on the planet Earth.

They’re planning to conduct an
experiment in less than three years.

So they say there’s an
asteroid coming towards Earth.

I think the idea is that
it’s not going to hit Earth.

What they want to do is shoot
some of the satellites into it.

They’ll hit it and then push it off
course, change this trajectory away.

And I was like, if I was
writing a science fiction movie

right now and I wanted
something to go wrong.

What I would do is have
the satellite course correct

the asteroid so that it
is coming into the Earth

and then the big panic is
we have to fix that problem

that we’ve created
through science ourselves.

That’s pretty standard
science fiction stuff.

So this is essentially some
kind of earth defense system.

I have a theory that all the Japanese

technological developments
are run primarily by

nerds and anime nerds
because they’re Japanese.

And so they’re all leading
towards one inevitable singular point

in the future and that is the
creation of a Gundam-like world.

They’ve created moving platforms.

They’ve created a rail gun.

They are now doing an
Earth satellite defense system.

They’re circling the Earth in asteroids.

These all sound very, very
much like Gundam to me.

And I’m concerned that once the
nerds actually have their Gundam,

they’re not going to
know how to control it.

Just like in any of
us, president doesn’t

know how to control
themselves around women.

(upbeat music) That was it.

Could call back to
the previous story.

I mean, I think I might be a 200-and-some
episodes, 200-and-like 80-some episodes.

I think this is going to be 289.

I’m starting to get good at this.

We did talk about last
time how police raided.

There was about 300 host clubs in Kabuchko.

Kabuki Cho.

I think I said it so fast, I said it wrong.

I do a lot of bad Japanese on this show.

Let’s just say you don’t want
to learn your Japanese for me.

You want to go to one
of those other websites

like Dogein or something
and learn some good Japanese.

Anyways, police raided,
they found out of 202

that they raided, 145 had
violated the law in some way.

And this includes, this
is the important thing.

It’s knowing how they
scam you in different places.

If you’re going to come visit Japan,

you want to go to a host
club, you want to see something.

How are they going to scam you if
you know what kind of scams they run?

You can prepare yourself.

Well, the main one is in selling
drinks without listing the price.

So what they do is they’re like,
hey, let’s buy a bottle of whiskey,

let’s buy a bottle of champagne,
let’s buy a bottle of something.

And you think, okay,
it’s going to be 10,000

yen, 20,000 yen,
expensive, but affordable.

And then they give you a
bill for like 15 million yen,

because apparently you
just drank the rarest whiskey

that ever existed in a bottle of champagne
where there’s only one left on the planet

that was pulled out of the
Titanic or something like that.

So that’s how they, that’s the first scam,

is they inflate the bill,
but they never list a price.

So you never actually get to say no,
because the whole point of a host club

is they’re pressuring you to drink and buy
drinks ’cause that’s how they make money.

The other one they’re doing is
operating without a liquor license.

So they’re selling liquor and
they don’t have a license to sell it.

Concept cafes, which you
would probably describe mainly

as made cafes, have
also been a foul of the law

with having underage girls
serve alcohol to customers.

So you can see there’s
two kind of things happening.

There’s the host clubs are
ripping women off monetarily

and then the anime or the made cafes are
breaking the law by having underage people,

because that’s what
appeals again to these

anime nerds who are
going to go to a made cafe.

They want to have a really young girl, you
know, do the song and the dance and stuff.

I went to one once it
was actually quite dismal.

I think I went to the wrong one.

My friends took me
to one where I think the

maids were dour might
have been the actual thing.

It’s the end of the year.

So we’re going to get a lot of stats.

Last episode is very stat heavy.

This one’s not as stat heavy,
but it is entertaining stats.

The porn hub annual breakdown has come out.

And once again, Hentai is
the most search term whereas

Japanese dropped number four,
dropped two places number four.

So the number one and
the number four search

terms on porn hub
are both Japan related.

Hentai is certainly very
much a Japanese thing.

I don’t want to question other
people’s tastes, but when I go

looking for porn, should I want
to spend my time doing that?

Animated stuff isn’t going to do it for me.

I don’t know, maybe I
also don’t like fake bodies.

So I think fake is something
that doesn’t work for me.

And so the animation
version, I’m not against it.

I still see it as being as appealing.

So I guess you must be into something
different for me, which is not a bad thing.

I mean, I’m not actually
judging you on that.

There are, I do judge
people on some things.

I judge people on stuff
that I don’t understand.

Hentai, while it doesn’t, isn’t
my thing, I do understand it.

I understand like, again,
there’s sort of this idyllic

perfection idea of
having a 2D woman that’s

been drawn, basically
created for your fantasy.

That doesn’t do it for me.

Japanese, so the fourth search term on the
list was beaten out by lesbian and milk.

So if you got a lesbian,
milk, who’s also a Japanese,

who’s been drawn, so a
Hentai Japanese, lesbian,

milk, I think some heads
are going to explode.

That’s something you
should look at in the future,

if you’re planning on getting
into the creation of porn industry.

I didn’t enjoy it, so they
do a breakdown by state.

Most of the states, it was interesting,

’cause like, oh, the racist states are
all looking at black girls or something.

California was one step away
from my just previous joke

where the search term
was Asian steppin’ mom.

So all they’re missing is
lesbian and I guess Hentai,

but they had Asian and milk, if
you’re talking about Stup-Mom.

If you drew it, it’d be, yeah,
California’s on the cutting edge

of what everyone in the world
actually wants to deep down inside.

They were looking at how long people
go to porn hub and spend per session.

Japan, number two on the list at 11
minutes and 14 seconds per session.

Number two behind the Philippines.

Now, let’s be very clear,
that 11 minutes is all illegal.

So porn hub is not censored.

Unless they’re looking at the
censored version of Asian porn

and Hentai, what they’re
actually doing is illegal.

The most viewed by men,
Japanese was number two.

Lesbian was number one.

It’s Japanese lesbians.

I mean, again, you could like
wrap up that category right there.

Men’s favorite categories.

Number one and number
two, Japanese and mature.

We’re hitting a theme.

Older Japanese ladies got to go on on.

Women was number one was
lesbian, number two was Japanese.

So again, all those terms
together, I now am at this point

where I just want to make the one
singular, perfect pornographic film.

And then just end up porn altogether because
what happens is you just watch my movie

and it’s so entrancing, no one
ever watches anything again.

So every year in Japan, you
give out New Year’s money

called Atoshi Dhamma and it
comes in a little red envelope

and it’s a tradition and
people love it except.

We’re getting in a world
that’s kind of cashless.

So pay-pay, one of the
companies that is putting out

a payment system that use on your phone,
they want to create digital Atoshi Dhamma

and they’ve done a
survey and found that 40%

of the people they surveyed
want to give it out cashless.

Now, pay-pay is probably
surveying people who use pay-pay,

which means people who
are already using digital stuff.

They’re expecting
people to give 526.

3 billion yen year-end
money to kids.

I basically teenagers to get like five
to 10,000 yen depends on your family.

Kids just get like 1,000 yen or something.

Pay-pay wants to take 150
billion yen of that 526 billion

and make that digital and
create essentially a new industry.

The thing is, for the kids to receive this,

I guess they would have
to have a phone as well.

So there’s an expectation that the kids
receiving this do have their own phone.

And one that they could
then take outside of the house

and then use in public to actually use
the funds to keep them in circulation.

There’s an interesting
sort of side step there.

My kids have phones, but
we’ve locked them down to Wi-Fi.

They don’t actually have a cell plan.

So I guess if they went in the
convenience store in the convenience

store ahead, Wi-Fi they could use
it, but that would be the only way.

There was a very interesting story,

’cause this is something I
didn’t know about Japanese law.

The police have seen
an increase in mail

prostitutes since opening
the borders from COVID.

So like more people are coming into visit.

A lot of people are a good way to make
money in Japan is to do some prostitution.

So they do that.

The anti-prostitution act only applies
to women in Japan, which I did not know.

I just thought anti-prostitution,
you wouldn’t make it gender specific.

It would just be anti-prostitution.

Well, apparently it’s only about women,

so you can’t arrest a man
for being a prostitute, which I’m

finding very confusing
because it’s just the act, isn’t it?

Like if the act of accepting
money and exchange for sex

is the thing that breaks
the law, but apparently not.

It’s only that true if you are a woman.

They still want to arrest these people,
so they would arrest them for touting,

which is standing on the street
and like trying to solicit customers,

and waiting for clients, which is
apparently also against the law.

I didn’t know that.

So that is considered a public disturbance.

It’s part of a public ordinance.

So you’re getting arrested, but again,

a much lower level crime
than actual prostitution.

So I’m interested to see if
this ends up in them changing

the rule, ’cause it would
make a lot more sense

if the rule wasn’t women do it
or men do it, if it was just doing it.

Well, soccer police have made YouTube
ads to combat marijuana usage, which,

let’s be honest, the
old people by committee

making an advertisement
or something to appeal to

the youths is never going
to really be successful.

Marijuana use has been
in the news a lot lately.

So there was a university football team,

an American football team,
and they were disbanded because

the players got in trouble
for marijuana multiple times.

In the last couple of weeks, some
gummy marijuana-laced gummies

have gone around and
made a bunch of people sick.

I don’t know if they took
too many or the actual

product was bad, we
made a bunch of people sick.

You know, soccer, 80% of
youth crime is marijuana-related.

And 80% of all marijuana arrests
are people under the age of 29.

So they’re seeing youth in marijuana.

There’s a connection there and
there’s like, we’re gonna fight it.

We’re gonna do something
that’s really effective.

We’re gonna go on YouTube and make an ad

that they’re gonna skip
as soon as they’re given

the first opportunity
’cause I literally hover

the mouse over the skip button
when I start watching a video.

I’m pretty sure kids are gonna be
way more advanced about it than I am.

I’m sure that’s where
the ad blockers come in.

YouTube’s been having a
lot of trouble with ad blockers.

The problem with the police trying to
connect to the youth is it’s not gonna work.

These old men, they’re not going to
figure out the message soon enough.

I, again, I now realize
like if I wanted to

connect to youth about
not using marijuana,

probably the best thing I
could do is get old people

to start using marijuana, then
it wouldn’t be cool anymore.

Or get young people to try to do it.

Still don’t think it
would be that effective.

I don’t have an answer for that.

They are really, really stuck on this one.

I don’t think a YouTube
ad is really gonna

have the massive
success they hope it does.

Since 2008, they started
measuring the physical strength

of students and they
have found that students’

strength at junior high
school as a record low.

So the survey started in 2008.

They did 920,000 students were surveyed.

It’s been falling since 2019.

So you know what that means.

If you wanna go bully a
junior high school student,

this would be the year to do
it because you can take ’em.

70% of workers in Japan
don’t want to be contacted

outside of work hours, which makes
me go, “Why is that number not 100%?”

‘Cause the question is, want to.

Like I might accept a call outside of work.

I might accept messages out of work.

That doesn’t mean I want
to be contacted out of work.

So the question one
should be, do you want

to question two would
be, is it acceptable?

Question three is neutral, like the
five levels would be pretty normal.

72.4% of all workers have
say they have received

messages outside of
work, which is they 8.

2% increase in previous
years and 62.2%.

And 62.2% say this causes them stress,

which I understand, and
again, it’s part of the Japanese

work culture where you have
to find a way to let them go

because, as I’ve said, a million
times now in an engineered Japan,

this is where the declining
birth rate comes from.

So our last story, this is a quick
one because it is the holiday season.

I’m actually not working.

I’m not, I just wanted
to get an episode out.

It’s already a day late,
but I just wanted to get

something out so that people, you know, I
actually noticed a lot of podcasts go dark

over the holidays, but it’s nice to have
something to listen to when you’re driving.

So you get to listen to my stupid
voice because I’m, you know what?

‘Cause I’m dedicated.

I’m dedicated to you as the lister and
who was interested in Japanese news.

And this is our last story and
it’s not a creepy creepy guy.

I’ve kind of pushed
away from that a little bit,

only because the creepy creepy guy
stories have gotten really repetitive.

They’ve not done anything
particularly creative lately.

It’s a few year old man is
at the scene of an accident.

And they didn’t say if he caused it.

That is the bit.

I actually, a bit of
information I would have liked.

A 27 year old police officer is
interviewing him about the accident.

And he says the 62 year old drunk
man says, “You headbutted me, right?”

And then headbutts the cop.

No, I’m gonna give you some advice.

If you ever come to Japan,
don’t headbutt anybody.

But absolutely don’t headbutt a cop.

Like if you’re gonna headbutt
anyone, don’t do it to a cop.

That’s actually one of
the worst people to do it to.

You should be headbutting
the junior high school girl

from the story before,
’cause she’s so weak.

She’s not gonna be able to fight back.

You’re gonna win that fight
nine times out of 10, not always.

‘Cause it wasn’t all
the kids who were weak.

And you gotta pick ’em carefully.

When he was arrested, he said,

“I had no idea the person I
had butted was a police officer.

” As if somehow that
would have made it okay.

Like if I had but someone
else, not an issue.

But headbutting a cop,
whoops, now I’m sorry,

if only he had headbutted a
president of an oil company.

Then, all would be right
with the world again.

So that’s just a very
quick episode out for today.

I don’t know if I’ll have
one available next week.

So I might be taking a
week off just because

of holidays and take
care of family and stuff.

And doing things and trying to live a life

so that I have stories
that I can then share.

I didn’t change the pain in the future.

You have hundreds of
episodes in the back catalog.

So you can go listen to Seamick Bee.

I have recently on YouTube
releasing Seamick Bee IMDB,

which is my breakdown sort of react
videos to primarily Kung Fu movies.

So if you want something to do over the
holiday, please check out Seamick Bee IMDB.

And I hope you have a really good holiday.

Cover your Orifii

(Electronic music)

Now let’s talk about the economy.

Woo!

If you’re here for the news, you know
you like to talk about the economy.

I’m gonna take it down a notch after that.

I was gonna start with a
song, but then it sounded racist.

Because I was gonna do a reggae style song

like a certain unmentionable
man had done in the past.

But I guess it was probably racist
when he did it, so me copying him

would make me racist,
so I’m not gonna do that.

We’re just gonna talk about the economy.

Prices in Japan are up
4% compared to last year.

And I have noticed that.

I actually have noticed
I’m spending more money

on just like the things I
used to buy used to buy.

Every Tuesday, so today is
Tuesday, I wanna record this.

I’m at home, kids are at
school, boy there’s a work.

I make dinner, so I would
go and buy stuff for dinner.

I’ve noticed that it is more expensive
just to buy basic items for dinner,

which has made me more conservative.

And that’s not a unique
thing to have happen.

Household spending
overall in Japan is down 1.2%.

If everything’s 4% more expensive, but that
means people are buying 1.2% less stuff.

This is problematic.

Because private spending
is nearly half of Japan’s gdp.

So basically Japan’s economy, if
Japanese people aren’t spending money,

then the gdp inherently goes down.

So this increase in
inflation is a bigger

problem than just things
are more expensive.

It means people are spending less money.

If people are spending less money,
the gdp of the country is decreasing.

Now this is led to government calls.

I believe we’ve actually
talked about this before.

Government calls for increases in salaries.

I thought this might
be like an endless cycle.

Inflation goes up, salaries go up,
but then that doesn’t mean anything.

It almost cancels each other out.

And then you can just do that infinitely,

but then you get into a
situation where like 1,000 yen,

which is sort of again, the really
quick equivalent would be $10.

You gotta use 10,000 yen equivalent to $10.

Inflation goes up, prices
go up, salaries go up.

It means nothing.

So part of my brain goes, why
don’t you just not do the inflation?

And then you don’t have
to give the salary increases.

Because if we do a pricing,

inflation of 4% and then a salary increase
of 4%, let’s say, it’s equivalency.

Just don’t do that in the first place.

I know economics is not that simple,
but economists often make it seem like

infinite growth is possible when it isn’t.

This is a problem with
the video game industry

and they think that
they basically are saying,

everything has to be more
successful than the previous thing

to count as successful, the problem being,
there’s only actually a finite of people

who play video games.

So you can only extract
so much money from them.

Therefore, there is not an infinite
well of money you can pool from.

So you have to actually start looking
at as what’s our upper limit, not infinite.

Anyways, they’re
calling companies are

being called to look
at their pay structures

as social responsibility.

Because if the workers don’t have
money, they’re not gonna spend money

’cause they need to save.

If they need to save, then the gdp
of Japan as a country goes down.

That’s the infinite loop
that we’re in right now.

This is being called new
capitalism by some corners, growth,

and it’s a growth and
redistribution policy.

Companies should monitor prices
and improve momentum of wage raises

so that people can continue spending.

The problem is this
isn’t how companies work.

Companies don’t tend to
work on social responsibility

or worry about the gdp,
they worry about themselves.

Companies in a capitalist
society are inherently selfish.

So if the government wants this
to happen, they have to force it,

but if they force it, they’re gonna
be overstepping their balance.

That is sort of the core
issues we’re dealing with

with this problem of
inflation versus wages.

Uniglo.

It’s actually a weirdly positive company.

So they come up as an example a lot.

Uniglo is looking to raise their
annual salaries by up to 40%.

Now that up to is very
important as a lot of heavy lifting.

Whenever something says up to, what
you actually have to read is less than,

I once had a juice that
had up to, it was like a drink,

and it had up to 10% real fruit
juice, but up to 10% could mean zero.

So when I looked at it, I was immediately
like, there may be no actual juice in this

because that is up to 10%.

It was a very interesting
way of wording it.

So that may be concerned.

So university grads, if
you get a job at uni-glow,

right now your base salary will be 255,000
yet, which is pretty close to average.

They’re gonna raise that to 300,000.

That is 16%.

So that’s probably most of their workers.

University graduates
get maybe a little bump,

but you can see what they’re doing is like,
okay, we’re gonna give the average worker

15 to 20% raise.

Store managers currently making
290,000 yen, they’re gonna get 390,000 yen.

That is 100,000 yen increase.

That is significant.

So uni-glow has taken on this sort of,

I don’t think they did it
because of the government,

but they realize like if we
want our workers to flourish,

they have to have money to flourish with.

There is an interesting, it
was spun very positively.

Ntt, the biggest mobile
communications network in Japan.

I said they’re going to move
from a seniority-based system.

So Japan is still very
much like the longer you stay

at a company, the more money
you make at that company,

even if you’re not very good at your job.

But that’s irrelevant because
if I’ve been here for 50 years,

maybe I’ve like absorbed
knowledge in it, something like that.

I don’t know.

They’re gonna change
to a merit-based system,

and I was like, “oh,
that sounds really good.”

And I thought about it more.

What does that actually mean?

Because what’s happening right now is
companies have this base salary system,

depending on how you’re working.

And if it’s going to be impacted by
inflation, so if inflation goes up 4%,

and the company I work for has to
raise my wages by 4% to match inflation,

that’s just less to say,
that’s the new standard.

And that’s not actually
what’s gonna happen.

My company’s not giving me a raise forever.

But let’s say that is what happens.

That’s going to affect your raises
and what not, based on inflation.

You don’t wanna have to react to inflation.

So if you make your raises and
payment system merit-based,

you can ignore the greater economy.

You can say, look, you’re getting paid
this much because of your performance.

If you’re a high performer,
yeah, you do deserve money.

That’s great.

But the average worker
probably will get nothing

because we don’t wanna reward averageness.

So I think, they’re framing
this as a very positive thing.

We’re doing away with the old system.

We’re going to a merit-based system
and everybody loves merit-based systems.

And then I was like, I think
this might be a way of them

to say, we aren’t going
to react to inflation.

We’re going to just
change our pay structures

so that we can
do it all internally

and then turn around and say,
no one has performed well enough

because of inflation, all
our profits have been down.

So that means no one’s
performed well enough.

Therefore, nobody gets a pay raise.

And that seems like the very sad state
of the economy in Japan at the moment.

(Phone ringing)

So you think that’s fun?

Now we’re gonna do international politics.

I gotta come up with
little theme songs now.

I realize that.

I need an economy song.

It gone me, the economy.

And then I need an
international no politics.

I seem to have a very scaw-based
sound for my theme intro, jingles.

I gotta take a little drink of
hot water before I move on.

Mm.

If you’re watching live, this is the
content that gets cut out everywhere else.

This is the stuff on twitch
that you come here for.

It’s the real raw look at
what a podcast construction is.

Mm.

Hot water.

Go smooth down the throat.

Get those sweet sounds out.

I think in about five minutes that
sun’s gonna come through my window.

So I’m gonna take care of that early.

This is the pump-a-do
section of the

podcast where you
get a look in behind like,

how does this magically come?

What does he do to block out the like?

He takes a work shirt and
he hangs it over the window

’cause the window above
my computer has no curtains.

So gotta make sure there’s a
sleeve, not in front of the camera.

All right, so we’re back.

We’re talking about international politics.

The work shirt as blinds, okay, I,
Jade, you’re one of my favorite people,

but you have to, okay, so you can see
in the back there’s blinds on the window.

I’m gonna give you a
little tour of my room.

Before I go on to the sorry,
since I’m like halfway out.

There’s blinds, there’s a big window there.

It’s really nice has curtains.

Little tiny window right
above the computer, nothing.

So what am I supposed to do?

And then the sun around
10 o’clock is 10 o’clock,

comes over that and then just
look at how bleached my face is.

So if I move over here, oh, this is sweet.

Look at that.

Like the camera can’t adjust for
this much washed out whiteness.

I am so white.

This is it.

This isn’t what nightmares are made of.

You can see the uv cut in my glasses.

The blue light cut is the yellow.

And then you can see how
much I need to fix my teeth.

(Laughs)

Uh, I am.

Sorry.

I am of the, oh, no, no, no, no.

I, not, white does not
even describe what I am.

I am the archetype of where
white people came from.

The gene pool, if the gene
pool was like one of those,

you know, on computers when they have like,
like, like, programs for like Photoshop

and they have that thing
is it’s white in this corner

and then like probably like a red in this
corner and then down here would be gray.

Here’s like, I’m up there.

I’m up in the corner that is just white.

I’m almost translucent.

I think you could make a lighthouse
by reflecting light off my face.

Okay, but I’m gonna go back to the podcast.

Ugh, that’s hot in my room.

It’s, we’re in this weird,
it’s like it’s cold outside.

But if I turn on the
heater, it’s too hot inside.

I’m pure as the dripper.

Snow is not pure.

Let’s be really clear about that.

White is the driven snow.

Yes, pure, not a word I would use.

Okay, international politics.

That’s the edit point.

For continuity, I shouldn’t have a sweater

that suddenly appear
’cause all this will get cut out.

I actually know on
YouTube I’ll leave this in.

It’s the audio part that’ll be cut out.

Then no one’s gonna see anything so.

International politics.

I have been framing international politics
throughout the entirety of this podcast

as high school drama, which
has been pretty descriptive.

And it’s because we’re dealing with
boisterous nations like north Korea.

Now this one isn’t north Korea as
China, but China does take a stance.

It seems like communist parties and these
sort of dictatorship-oriented countries

really feel free about
condemning other countries

about stuff they clearly do themselves.

China has gone through a big wave of covid.

In Japan, they just finished
their seventh or eighth wave.

I stopped counting.

It’s not really waves anymore.

It seems very random.

When I check the Tokyo
numbers, it is like 500,000, five.

Like they’ll do, they’ll like
fluctuate that much in a day.

So Japan said, look, China’s going
through a really big covid wave.

We’re going to have people who
want to go from China to Japan.

The covid test, have a negative
covid test before you leave.

Probably, when I went
to Canada and came back,

it had to be two days before I returned.

I needed a negative covid test.

China said that this is a discriminatory,

China said until discriminatory entry
restrictions against China are lifted,

China will stop giving
visa to Japanese

travelers, which is a
bit of an overreaction

because Japan’s not saying you
can’t come from China to Japan.

Japan’s saying, if you come,
you need to take a covid test,

which to me seems very
reasonable because I had to do it.

I came from Canada, which you would
consider a very friendly country to Japan.

Now, it was more short.

I guess it was, it wasn’t peak pandemic.

It was this summer, last summer break.

But I didn’t feel like that
was an unreasonable request.

I didn’t enjoy it.

I didn’t want to do it.

I didn’t want to spend the
$250, which turned into $500.

I had to do one for me and my daughter.

But I was like, yeah, you
don’t want to bring covid.

The whole problem is people traveled around

and that’s how covid got
around in the first place.

So my new Zealand did a fairly good job
because they were locking down the border,

so I didn’t want to end.

I said to do that at the
beginning, but Japan didn’t listen.

The government of Japan
doesn’t listen to this podcast

and that, I think, might be
one of the bigger problems

we have because I have solutions.

So the Japanese foreign minister,
he’s opposed to the Chinese restrictions.

The problem is the China, you being unhappy

with another country’s
decision is irrelevant,

but they always get, this is a
phrase that comes up all the time

and I’ve realized it’s just like a
standard phrase, extremely regrettable.

The Japanese foreign minister
finds the decision of China

to remove the possibility of visas

for Chinese people going to
China as extremely regrettable

and it seems like the harshest
language diplomats can take.

So really this is just a Chinese Japanese
foreign minister going like, fuck you guys.

And then north Korea uses
extremely regrettable for everything.

And the second thought is
they should actually lower the,

so extremely regrettable is
their strong version of language.

They should pull it back and I’m a
father and I’ve realized that’s a father.

So if I get really
rambunctious or voiceiferous

or I make a lot
of noise and stuff,

the kids don’t take me seriously.

But if I get quiet and sorry,
I go, not happy about that.

That has a big impact
and there was a story I read

and it was about world war ii and
they dropped f-bombs constantly.

So it was like, get your fucking gun,

get your fucking kit, get
your fuck fuck fuck fuck.

So fuck was a normal
part of an everyday order.

But when someone came to
the room and said, get your gun,

that had impact because dropping the f-bom

out of the sentence
meant that this was serious.

So on a normal day, a
normal order, you’d say fuck.

But then when it got
serious, you dropped it.

So I was like, oh, what
depends, what they need to do.

It’s actually drop back the lame.

So it’s not extremely
regrettable, you go, that’s too bad.

And sound disappointed, but then
they’ll be like, oh, what does that mean?

I think that actually
might have some impact.

It’d be interesting to see what happens.

(Phone ringing)

Still on international politics.

The ex president of Russia, the
Japan, the prime minister, kishita,

he said, I’m gonna go to america, we’re
gonna have a little meeting with biden.

You gotta, you know, work shit out.

‘Cause we’re gonna solve problems.

And they said, man, if Russia
nukes Ukraine, that’s bad.

Okay, that is the depth of
this statement they made.

If Russia nukes Japan, that’s bad.

That’s, I mean, I think they
said it in a more political way.

But the ex president of Russia, of Russia,

was like, this statement
is completely unacceptable.

You can’t tell US what to do.

You can’t tell US not to use your weapons.

You’re having a meeting with a country that
has just suspended nuclear weapons as US.

What do you get in all of
the up in our faces about?

So the Russian ex president says, the
Japanese prime minister should commit

a ritual suicide at the next
cabinet meeting in Japan.

That’s the only way he
could wash away the shame

of the statement,
the statement being,

please don’t use nuclear
weapons in Ukraine.

I was like, this is what I’m saying.

Like the level, is it hyperbole?

The level of theater these
guys use in their language.

Gets to the point where it’s nonsensical?

Like, nukes are bad.

You should kill yourself for that.

Apparently that’s what, but then,

so the Japanese do supposed
to commit ritual suicide, sipaku.

But you need to say
anything about the biden?

So the president, he’s like,
well, I guess they don’t have that,

I guess you have that in your
culture, so it’s a fair thing to say.

Like, so here’s a question
that I would love to have

someone ask him, do you
think he’s really gonna do it?

I mean, they don’t do that anymore.

It’s not a thing anymore, but
did you think he was gonna be like,

oh man, the ex-president
Roger said, I should go kill myself.

All right, at the next cabinet meeting,

I guess I’m gonna go kill myself
in the next cabinet meeting.

And then if you did it,
like, would you be like,

yeah, Japan’s washed away their shame.

I don’t know what this was supposed to do.

It just didn’t, it’s again, it’s, it
doesn’t make any sense to me.

That’s, I think that’s where
we are, international politics.

When we get to this level,
there’s so much theater involved.

I don’t actually know what
people are saying anymore.

I don’t know what people mean anymore.

That might be why I actually said it,

or recently, like, they
should bring it down a notch

so that it can actually
start to make sense again.

(Phone ringing)

We have talked about the
emergency services video function

that was added to
Japan’s emergency services,

services recently, it was
in October and November.

In October and November,
they read 622 calls,

and they weren’t calls,
they were video calls.

And the reason really for
doing this is young people,

generally, that’s how, if they’re going
to make a call, they make a video call.

So that’s how, what they know how to do.

So they’re like, we have to adapt.

And this is an interesting thing,

’cause you have two very
big sort of stradas in Japan.

You have old people who don’t
know how to use any technology.

And you have young people who kind
of only know how to use technology.

There was an interesting story.

It was in america, and
it was a guy got arrested,

and he didn’t know how to use a phone book,
’cause he’d only ever use the Internet.

So it became a legal right
that they had to have access.

So he’s like, you can
make your one phone call.

Here’s a phone book.

He’s like, I don’t know
how to use, what is this?

I’ve never seen this thing before.

This giant book you’ve
just put in front of me.

So the police were like, okay, well,
we have to let them access the Internet

to be able to contact someone.

So that’s when a phone
call became a broader thing.

It was like, you have to
be able to contact someone

so you can send an email or something.

I don’t know exactly
what the specifics were,

but they did broaden the scope
of what your one phone call

actually entailed and how
you can access the phone,

because they found
that it’s not really fair

if young people don’t know how to use a
phone book that you give them a phone book.

So this was about like since young people

know how to make video calls and
they want you helpful, let’s give it a try.

So they got 622 calls, which is awesome,

but they actually caught
some fleeing suspects

because while they were
on the emergency call,

the guy was like, well, pointed at
the car so I can see their license plate

and they got like a
screenshot of the license plate.

So they were able to catch
some people who did hit and runs.

The one I found most interesting, they
had a hiker who got stranded on a mountain

and they used the video
call to help identify the area

so the people could find them more quickly.

So it was really good, first of all,

that they had cell service,
that was the important part.

But the fact that they had cell service,
they were like, okay, take your camera,

I’m like, look around and then, oh,
someone’s gonna recognize that mountain

so you’re looking at
that mountain, so you’re

this way and then,
oh, look over there,

they could kind of
triangulate where they

were because they
could see the surroundings

and they helped save someone’s
life, which I thought was really nice.

But this did lead US to a couple
of other stats which are interesting.

There were 1.63 million calls to
the non-emergency number in Japan.

It was mostly drunk people asking for taxis

or people complaining
about traffic tickets.

1.6 million.

So I would not want to be the
person on the other end of that phone.

Let’s just make that statement out there.

When I’m looking for my job career change,

it’s not going to be the person
on the non-emergency line.

(Phone ringing)

Japan’s a very gun-safe country and I like
to illustrate that by the kind of stories

that make the news in Japan.

So a 56 year old cop accidentally,
okay, let’s actually just do the story.

Somebody has been bugging me,
his new story is lead with the bit

so you don’t have to read the article or
as I actually want to go through the steps

and then get to the bit.

So 56 year old cop is at the
Tokyo airport police station

and they’re, oh, it’s time to
take the bulls out of my gun.

So they go to take it out of
the hole so it holds your stiff.

So they yank it out really hard.

It bangs the table and goes off.

Now I was a little confused by that.

My understanding is that
guns are inherently designed.

So in the movies you drop a
gun and it goes off and kills a guy.

That actually happens quite a lot.

My understanding is that
in real life guns are designed

to not, if you bang though, just go off.

So I was thinking, was the gun cocked
and the table hit the hammer of the gun

and then it went off?

Or did the person pulling the gun from the
holster have their finger on the trigger

and then when he hit the
table pulled the trigger?

They didn’t explain any of that.

Well, the explanation
was the holster was stiff.

So I, when I pulled the gun out,
pulled it full force and hit the table.

But that makes me
think they had their finger

on the trigger as they
pulled out their gun.

So no one was hurt, nothing happened.

That’s it.

So like in other countries,
you’d be talking about

like a shooting in the airport,
how many people died in Japan.

Basically nothing happened.

And because a gun was
discharged, it became a news story.

And that is, honestly, one of
the reasons why I think gun control

works because that’s
the news story of the day.

[Music playing]

Ok, we’re getting to
local sort of smaller news.

But shogi players– now you would imagine
shogi’s a kind of chess, Asian chess.

I don’t know if it’s just Japanese.

I think it is, but I
don’t want to say that.

I don’t want to actually make a mistake.

Shogi players, chess players–
if you think about the chess

player personality, you would
think of a relatively pedantic person.

I think that is a fair thing to say.

Shogi players are no different.

They are very pedantic.

So this was a high level tournament.

They had like 6, 10, 7, 10.

I didn’t know what any of that meant.

But it’s the high level.

And then one guy goes, look, that
dude’s not wearing his mask properly.

He’s actually got a mask on, but
it’s covering his mouth, not his nose.

Now, anyone who’s wearing a mask properly
knows that it has to cover all the orify.

I do like pluralizing with the
eye more than anything else.

It has to cover all the
orifices on your face,

as in your mouth, and both your nostrils.

Not your ears or your nose or your eyes.

So he said, like, dude, please put
your mask on properly, cover your nose.

The guy ignored him.

So he did set it a couple more times.

The guy ignored him.

He calls a ref.

He’s like, ref.

Dude’s not wearing his mask properly.

And then the ref says,
dude, you got to wear a mask.

He says, I’m wearing a mask.

There is no rule that
bands exposing your nose.

So the rule is you have to
wear a mask, which would literally

mean interpretation wise.

I could put a mask on the
top of my head, cover nothing

on my face, and that
would follow the rules.

So again, these guys are being pedantic.

The ref being a little more
spirit of the rule rather than

letter of the law,
said, you’re disqualified.

Now, the guy left the venue
and he said, I understand.

I will follow a lawsuit.

If your behavior gets you
to a point where you feel you

need to sue people
for doing things like this,

there may be a moment in your life
where you have to stop and say, am I right?

So the actual– I did
look up the law, the rule.

And the rule is players must wear masks
during matches, except for brief moments.

And what they mean is, I’m wearing a mask.

We’ve been here for
two hours playing chess.

I can take off my mask and take a
drink, and then I put my mask back on.

So that’s the brief exception
where you do not wear a mask.

But this guy decided he
doesn’t want to wear a mask.

This is actually the second time.

It seems like showy
players are not anti-maskers,

but they– I guess they want
to have sort of their nose open

so they can breathe so
they can get more oxygen

or their brain so they
can be more effective.

Drink through the mask.

You could filter out all the bad stuff.

You put the mask on and
just open your mouth inside.

You’ll get some.

But it was just one of those
things that’s just ridiculous.

So I enjoyed that story, because I
just enjoyed the idea of showy players

being super pedantic about everything.

Traditionally, the last story in
ninja ninja Japan is creepy guy time.

It’s not even creepy
gender-neutral person time.

It’s a creepy guy time.

It’s always a dude.

I have put a kibosh on panty theft stories,

and a couple other things like
that that just show up too often,

only because they’ve become too repetitive.

But this creepy dudes– they always find
a new and interesting way to gross me out.

So I’m glad I can look at
that for the rest of my life

and know that I will never be surprised
by how creepy and gross guys can be.

Jr is Japan rail.

So it’s a train station staff.

And he was asked to guide
a visually impaired woman

to the platform, maybe back to the exit.

So just be a good person and help out
someone who struggles every now and then.

The woman then accused
him of sexual harassment.

What?

How is the even possible men
have never sexually harassed anyone

in the entirety of human history?

He claims that because he
had helped her several times

that they were just being friendly.

Now, I don’t want to judge, although
you know clearly I already have.

I don’t want to judge that
the man is overestimating

what is appropriate in
a friendly relationship.

I deal with people all the time.

And yes, I deal with people multiple times.

I sometimes make a racy joke, perhaps.

I don’t actually, because I get in trouble.

So I was like, ok, we got
to find out what he said.

What did he say?

Did he cross the line?

So was he being friendly?

Or was he sexually harassing?

So the first thing he said is, what
time are you coming home today?

Now that, I was like, oh, it
could be interpreted both way.

Like, oh, I’ll be around
when you come home.

So I will help you again.

Very nice thing to say.

Or it could be I’m a stalker and
I’m trying to find out your schedule.

Ok, he accidentally
didn’t say just that though.

He said, let’s go to a
new ramen restaurant.

That’s not ok.

So I think we’ve already crossed the line.

Like, he’s asking her to go with him.

Now, if you want to be generous, we don’t
have to be, because he ruins it later.

If you want to be generous, you could
say he is just recommending a restaurant.

And as a friend, he’s
saying, because they’ve

become very friendly,
let’s go to a ramen together.

I think we both all know that
that’s not what’s happening.

But I’m trying to give him
the benefit of the doubt

just so that his last line kills it harder.

She says, I’d like to go to the elevator.

And he said, oh, if we take the
stairs, I can give you a piggyback.

Piggybacks in Japan.

Now, you might be thinking
that that is weird thing to say.

You could interpret
that as kind of innocent.

Maybe a weird joke.

In Japan, piggybacks are sexual.

In anime and stuff, what you see
are usually girls who love a guy.

And then the guy– they
hurt their foot or something.

There is some mechanic in which they
have to– they have struggled to walk.

And the guy gives him a piggyback.

And then she’s laying sort of her head
on the back of his head or on his shoulder.

And it’s the closeness.

And in Japan, that is not sexual, but
it’s a precursor to a sexual relationship,

if I could put it that way.

I think the thing in itself is not sexual,

but it shows where
this relationship is going.

So there is a sexual undertone to it.

There’s a lot of things like that.

On in Japan, several times I’ve
explained the long distance kiss.

And it’s the idea that I
have my cup of hot water

to keep my voice smooth and romantic.

I take a drink.

And my lips have touched it.

And then I share the
drink with someone else.

And their lips touch the same thing.

So in a very metaphysical way, our
lips have touched in a long distance.

They call that the long distance kiss.

So you can see we’re not kissing,

but there is a sexual
undertone to these other things.

So not the indirect kiss.

That may be the case.

I heard it.

So the way it was explained
to me was long distance.

I just really like that term as well.

So indirect kiss– it means the same thing.

It means you’re not actually kissing,
but your lips are touching the same thing.

So I think we’re on the same page.

But at long distance, I
think I really enjoyed that.

So he said, like I’ll give you a piggyback.

Weird.

Again, has an already crossed a line.

But then the last line, he said,
was, isn’t your chest heavy?

I can carry it for you.

So as generous as we might want to
be, like let’s say we’re in a court of law.

And the guy says, oh, I
was just being friendly.

You could try to interpret
those first two examples

as just friendly and
maybe get away with it.

But isn’t your chest heavy?

I can carry it for you.

I think is not something that
friends would say to each other,

even if it wasn’t an on-set.

Like I’m sorry, I just did.

Again, like I said, he has
sabotaged his own defense.

If his defense was, I
was just being friendly.

His statements would have
had to remain relatively neutral.

And perhaps that’s why the
guy is gross and hitting on people

is because he doesn’t
know how to hit on people.

He doesn’t know how to formulate
that relationship in the first place.

Jadus put in, look,
he’s just being a homie.

Big boobs are heavy.

Back pain is real.

I actually do have some friends who’ve
told me that, yes, the back pain is real.

And yet, I never offered to
carry their boobs for them.

So I think with that beautiful sonata
playing around in the back of your head,

we’re going to end
today’s ninja ninja Japan.

[Music playing]

[Music playing].