Cover your Orifii

(Electronic music)

Now let’s talk about the economy.

Woo!

If you’re here for the news, you know
you like to talk about the economy.

I’m gonna take it down a notch after that.

I was gonna start with a
song, but then it sounded racist.

Because I was gonna do a reggae style song

like a certain unmentionable
man had done in the past.

But I guess it was probably racist
when he did it, so me copying him

would make me racist,
so I’m not gonna do that.

We’re just gonna talk about the economy.

Prices in Japan are up
4% compared to last year.

And I have noticed that.

I actually have noticed
I’m spending more money

on just like the things I
used to buy used to buy.

Every Tuesday, so today is
Tuesday, I wanna record this.

I’m at home, kids are at
school, boy there’s a work.

I make dinner, so I would
go and buy stuff for dinner.

I’ve noticed that it is more expensive
just to buy basic items for dinner,

which has made me more conservative.

And that’s not a unique
thing to have happen.

Household spending
overall in Japan is down 1.2%.

If everything’s 4% more expensive, but that
means people are buying 1.2% less stuff.

This is problematic.

Because private spending
is nearly half of Japan’s gdp.

So basically Japan’s economy, if
Japanese people aren’t spending money,

then the gdp inherently goes down.

So this increase in
inflation is a bigger

problem than just things
are more expensive.

It means people are spending less money.

If people are spending less money,
the gdp of the country is decreasing.

Now this is led to government calls.

I believe we’ve actually
talked about this before.

Government calls for increases in salaries.

I thought this might
be like an endless cycle.

Inflation goes up, salaries go up,
but then that doesn’t mean anything.

It almost cancels each other out.

And then you can just do that infinitely,

but then you get into a
situation where like 1,000 yen,

which is sort of again, the really
quick equivalent would be $10.

You gotta use 10,000 yen equivalent to $10.

Inflation goes up, prices
go up, salaries go up.

It means nothing.

So part of my brain goes, why
don’t you just not do the inflation?

And then you don’t have
to give the salary increases.

Because if we do a pricing,

inflation of 4% and then a salary increase
of 4%, let’s say, it’s equivalency.

Just don’t do that in the first place.

I know economics is not that simple,
but economists often make it seem like

infinite growth is possible when it isn’t.

This is a problem with
the video game industry

and they think that
they basically are saying,

everything has to be more
successful than the previous thing

to count as successful, the problem being,
there’s only actually a finite of people

who play video games.

So you can only extract
so much money from them.

Therefore, there is not an infinite
well of money you can pool from.

So you have to actually start looking
at as what’s our upper limit, not infinite.

Anyways, they’re
calling companies are

being called to look
at their pay structures

as social responsibility.

Because if the workers don’t have
money, they’re not gonna spend money

’cause they need to save.

If they need to save, then the gdp
of Japan as a country goes down.

That’s the infinite loop
that we’re in right now.

This is being called new
capitalism by some corners, growth,

and it’s a growth and
redistribution policy.

Companies should monitor prices
and improve momentum of wage raises

so that people can continue spending.

The problem is this
isn’t how companies work.

Companies don’t tend to
work on social responsibility

or worry about the gdp,
they worry about themselves.

Companies in a capitalist
society are inherently selfish.

So if the government wants this
to happen, they have to force it,

but if they force it, they’re gonna
be overstepping their balance.

That is sort of the core
issues we’re dealing with

with this problem of
inflation versus wages.

Uniglo.

It’s actually a weirdly positive company.

So they come up as an example a lot.

Uniglo is looking to raise their
annual salaries by up to 40%.

Now that up to is very
important as a lot of heavy lifting.

Whenever something says up to, what
you actually have to read is less than,

I once had a juice that
had up to, it was like a drink,

and it had up to 10% real fruit
juice, but up to 10% could mean zero.

So when I looked at it, I was immediately
like, there may be no actual juice in this

because that is up to 10%.

It was a very interesting
way of wording it.

So that may be concerned.

So university grads, if
you get a job at uni-glow,

right now your base salary will be 255,000
yet, which is pretty close to average.

They’re gonna raise that to 300,000.

That is 16%.

So that’s probably most of their workers.

University graduates
get maybe a little bump,

but you can see what they’re doing is like,
okay, we’re gonna give the average worker

15 to 20% raise.

Store managers currently making
290,000 yen, they’re gonna get 390,000 yen.

That is 100,000 yen increase.

That is significant.

So uni-glow has taken on this sort of,

I don’t think they did it
because of the government,

but they realize like if we
want our workers to flourish,

they have to have money to flourish with.

There is an interesting, it
was spun very positively.

Ntt, the biggest mobile
communications network in Japan.

I said they’re going to move
from a seniority-based system.

So Japan is still very
much like the longer you stay

at a company, the more money
you make at that company,

even if you’re not very good at your job.

But that’s irrelevant because
if I’ve been here for 50 years,

maybe I’ve like absorbed
knowledge in it, something like that.

I don’t know.

They’re gonna change
to a merit-based system,

and I was like, “oh,
that sounds really good.”

And I thought about it more.

What does that actually mean?

Because what’s happening right now is
companies have this base salary system,

depending on how you’re working.

And if it’s going to be impacted by
inflation, so if inflation goes up 4%,

and the company I work for has to
raise my wages by 4% to match inflation,

that’s just less to say,
that’s the new standard.

And that’s not actually
what’s gonna happen.

My company’s not giving me a raise forever.

But let’s say that is what happens.

That’s going to affect your raises
and what not, based on inflation.

You don’t wanna have to react to inflation.

So if you make your raises and
payment system merit-based,

you can ignore the greater economy.

You can say, look, you’re getting paid
this much because of your performance.

If you’re a high performer,
yeah, you do deserve money.

That’s great.

But the average worker
probably will get nothing

because we don’t wanna reward averageness.

So I think, they’re framing
this as a very positive thing.

We’re doing away with the old system.

We’re going to a merit-based system
and everybody loves merit-based systems.

And then I was like, I think
this might be a way of them

to say, we aren’t going
to react to inflation.

We’re going to just
change our pay structures

so that we can
do it all internally

and then turn around and say,
no one has performed well enough

because of inflation, all
our profits have been down.

So that means no one’s
performed well enough.

Therefore, nobody gets a pay raise.

And that seems like the very sad state
of the economy in Japan at the moment.

(Phone ringing)

So you think that’s fun?

Now we’re gonna do international politics.

I gotta come up with
little theme songs now.

I realize that.

I need an economy song.

It gone me, the economy.

And then I need an
international no politics.

I seem to have a very scaw-based
sound for my theme intro, jingles.

I gotta take a little drink of
hot water before I move on.

Mm.

If you’re watching live, this is the
content that gets cut out everywhere else.

This is the stuff on twitch
that you come here for.

It’s the real raw look at
what a podcast construction is.

Mm.

Hot water.

Go smooth down the throat.

Get those sweet sounds out.

I think in about five minutes that
sun’s gonna come through my window.

So I’m gonna take care of that early.

This is the pump-a-do
section of the

podcast where you
get a look in behind like,

how does this magically come?

What does he do to block out the like?

He takes a work shirt and
he hangs it over the window

’cause the window above
my computer has no curtains.

So gotta make sure there’s a
sleeve, not in front of the camera.

All right, so we’re back.

We’re talking about international politics.

The work shirt as blinds, okay, I,
Jade, you’re one of my favorite people,

but you have to, okay, so you can see
in the back there’s blinds on the window.

I’m gonna give you a
little tour of my room.

Before I go on to the sorry,
since I’m like halfway out.

There’s blinds, there’s a big window there.

It’s really nice has curtains.

Little tiny window right
above the computer, nothing.

So what am I supposed to do?

And then the sun around
10 o’clock is 10 o’clock,

comes over that and then just
look at how bleached my face is.

So if I move over here, oh, this is sweet.

Look at that.

Like the camera can’t adjust for
this much washed out whiteness.

I am so white.

This is it.

This isn’t what nightmares are made of.

You can see the uv cut in my glasses.

The blue light cut is the yellow.

And then you can see how
much I need to fix my teeth.

(Laughs)

Uh, I am.

Sorry.

I am of the, oh, no, no, no, no.

I, not, white does not
even describe what I am.

I am the archetype of where
white people came from.

The gene pool, if the gene
pool was like one of those,

you know, on computers when they have like,
like, like, programs for like Photoshop

and they have that thing
is it’s white in this corner

and then like probably like a red in this
corner and then down here would be gray.

Here’s like, I’m up there.

I’m up in the corner that is just white.

I’m almost translucent.

I think you could make a lighthouse
by reflecting light off my face.

Okay, but I’m gonna go back to the podcast.

Ugh, that’s hot in my room.

It’s, we’re in this weird,
it’s like it’s cold outside.

But if I turn on the
heater, it’s too hot inside.

I’m pure as the dripper.

Snow is not pure.

Let’s be really clear about that.

White is the driven snow.

Yes, pure, not a word I would use.

Okay, international politics.

That’s the edit point.

For continuity, I shouldn’t have a sweater

that suddenly appear
’cause all this will get cut out.

I actually know on
YouTube I’ll leave this in.

It’s the audio part that’ll be cut out.

Then no one’s gonna see anything so.

International politics.

I have been framing international politics
throughout the entirety of this podcast

as high school drama, which
has been pretty descriptive.

And it’s because we’re dealing with
boisterous nations like north Korea.

Now this one isn’t north Korea as
China, but China does take a stance.

It seems like communist parties and these
sort of dictatorship-oriented countries

really feel free about
condemning other countries

about stuff they clearly do themselves.

China has gone through a big wave of covid.

In Japan, they just finished
their seventh or eighth wave.

I stopped counting.

It’s not really waves anymore.

It seems very random.

When I check the Tokyo
numbers, it is like 500,000, five.

Like they’ll do, they’ll like
fluctuate that much in a day.

So Japan said, look, China’s going
through a really big covid wave.

We’re going to have people who
want to go from China to Japan.

The covid test, have a negative
covid test before you leave.

Probably, when I went
to Canada and came back,

it had to be two days before I returned.

I needed a negative covid test.

China said that this is a discriminatory,

China said until discriminatory entry
restrictions against China are lifted,

China will stop giving
visa to Japanese

travelers, which is a
bit of an overreaction

because Japan’s not saying you
can’t come from China to Japan.

Japan’s saying, if you come,
you need to take a covid test,

which to me seems very
reasonable because I had to do it.

I came from Canada, which you would
consider a very friendly country to Japan.

Now, it was more short.

I guess it was, it wasn’t peak pandemic.

It was this summer, last summer break.

But I didn’t feel like that
was an unreasonable request.

I didn’t enjoy it.

I didn’t want to do it.

I didn’t want to spend the
$250, which turned into $500.

I had to do one for me and my daughter.

But I was like, yeah, you
don’t want to bring covid.

The whole problem is people traveled around

and that’s how covid got
around in the first place.

So my new Zealand did a fairly good job
because they were locking down the border,

so I didn’t want to end.

I said to do that at the
beginning, but Japan didn’t listen.

The government of Japan
doesn’t listen to this podcast

and that, I think, might be
one of the bigger problems

we have because I have solutions.

So the Japanese foreign minister,
he’s opposed to the Chinese restrictions.

The problem is the China, you being unhappy

with another country’s
decision is irrelevant,

but they always get, this is a
phrase that comes up all the time

and I’ve realized it’s just like a
standard phrase, extremely regrettable.

The Japanese foreign minister
finds the decision of China

to remove the possibility of visas

for Chinese people going to
China as extremely regrettable

and it seems like the harshest
language diplomats can take.

So really this is just a Chinese Japanese
foreign minister going like, fuck you guys.

And then north Korea uses
extremely regrettable for everything.

And the second thought is
they should actually lower the,

so extremely regrettable is
their strong version of language.

They should pull it back and I’m a
father and I’ve realized that’s a father.

So if I get really
rambunctious or voiceiferous

or I make a lot
of noise and stuff,

the kids don’t take me seriously.

But if I get quiet and sorry,
I go, not happy about that.

That has a big impact
and there was a story I read

and it was about world war ii and
they dropped f-bombs constantly.

So it was like, get your fucking gun,

get your fucking kit, get
your fuck fuck fuck fuck.

So fuck was a normal
part of an everyday order.

But when someone came to
the room and said, get your gun,

that had impact because dropping the f-bom

out of the sentence
meant that this was serious.

So on a normal day, a
normal order, you’d say fuck.

But then when it got
serious, you dropped it.

So I was like, oh, what
depends, what they need to do.

It’s actually drop back the lame.

So it’s not extremely
regrettable, you go, that’s too bad.

And sound disappointed, but then
they’ll be like, oh, what does that mean?

I think that actually
might have some impact.

It’d be interesting to see what happens.

(Phone ringing)

Still on international politics.

The ex president of Russia, the
Japan, the prime minister, kishita,

he said, I’m gonna go to america, we’re
gonna have a little meeting with biden.

You gotta, you know, work shit out.

‘Cause we’re gonna solve problems.

And they said, man, if Russia
nukes Ukraine, that’s bad.

Okay, that is the depth of
this statement they made.

If Russia nukes Japan, that’s bad.

That’s, I mean, I think they
said it in a more political way.

But the ex president of Russia, of Russia,

was like, this statement
is completely unacceptable.

You can’t tell US what to do.

You can’t tell US not to use your weapons.

You’re having a meeting with a country that
has just suspended nuclear weapons as US.

What do you get in all of
the up in our faces about?

So the Russian ex president says, the
Japanese prime minister should commit

a ritual suicide at the next
cabinet meeting in Japan.

That’s the only way he
could wash away the shame

of the statement,
the statement being,

please don’t use nuclear
weapons in Ukraine.

I was like, this is what I’m saying.

Like the level, is it hyperbole?

The level of theater these
guys use in their language.

Gets to the point where it’s nonsensical?

Like, nukes are bad.

You should kill yourself for that.

Apparently that’s what, but then,

so the Japanese do supposed
to commit ritual suicide, sipaku.

But you need to say
anything about the biden?

So the president, he’s like,
well, I guess they don’t have that,

I guess you have that in your
culture, so it’s a fair thing to say.

Like, so here’s a question
that I would love to have

someone ask him, do you
think he’s really gonna do it?

I mean, they don’t do that anymore.

It’s not a thing anymore, but
did you think he was gonna be like,

oh man, the ex-president
Roger said, I should go kill myself.

All right, at the next cabinet meeting,

I guess I’m gonna go kill myself
in the next cabinet meeting.

And then if you did it,
like, would you be like,

yeah, Japan’s washed away their shame.

I don’t know what this was supposed to do.

It just didn’t, it’s again, it’s, it
doesn’t make any sense to me.

That’s, I think that’s where
we are, international politics.

When we get to this level,
there’s so much theater involved.

I don’t actually know what
people are saying anymore.

I don’t know what people mean anymore.

That might be why I actually said it,

or recently, like, they
should bring it down a notch

so that it can actually
start to make sense again.

(Phone ringing)

We have talked about the
emergency services video function

that was added to
Japan’s emergency services,

services recently, it was
in October and November.

In October and November,
they read 622 calls,

and they weren’t calls,
they were video calls.

And the reason really for
doing this is young people,

generally, that’s how, if they’re going
to make a call, they make a video call.

So that’s how, what they know how to do.

So they’re like, we have to adapt.

And this is an interesting thing,

’cause you have two very
big sort of stradas in Japan.

You have old people who don’t
know how to use any technology.

And you have young people who kind
of only know how to use technology.

There was an interesting story.

It was in america, and
it was a guy got arrested,

and he didn’t know how to use a phone book,
’cause he’d only ever use the Internet.

So it became a legal right
that they had to have access.

So he’s like, you can
make your one phone call.

Here’s a phone book.

He’s like, I don’t know
how to use, what is this?

I’ve never seen this thing before.

This giant book you’ve
just put in front of me.

So the police were like, okay, well,
we have to let them access the Internet

to be able to contact someone.

So that’s when a phone
call became a broader thing.

It was like, you have to
be able to contact someone

so you can send an email or something.

I don’t know exactly
what the specifics were,

but they did broaden the scope
of what your one phone call

actually entailed and how
you can access the phone,

because they found
that it’s not really fair

if young people don’t know how to use a
phone book that you give them a phone book.

So this was about like since young people

know how to make video calls and
they want you helpful, let’s give it a try.

So they got 622 calls, which is awesome,

but they actually caught
some fleeing suspects

because while they were
on the emergency call,

the guy was like, well, pointed at
the car so I can see their license plate

and they got like a
screenshot of the license plate.

So they were able to catch
some people who did hit and runs.

The one I found most interesting, they
had a hiker who got stranded on a mountain

and they used the video
call to help identify the area

so the people could find them more quickly.

So it was really good, first of all,

that they had cell service,
that was the important part.

But the fact that they had cell service,
they were like, okay, take your camera,

I’m like, look around and then, oh,
someone’s gonna recognize that mountain

so you’re looking at
that mountain, so you’re

this way and then,
oh, look over there,

they could kind of
triangulate where they

were because they
could see the surroundings

and they helped save someone’s
life, which I thought was really nice.

But this did lead US to a couple
of other stats which are interesting.

There were 1.63 million calls to
the non-emergency number in Japan.

It was mostly drunk people asking for taxis

or people complaining
about traffic tickets.

1.6 million.

So I would not want to be the
person on the other end of that phone.

Let’s just make that statement out there.

When I’m looking for my job career change,

it’s not going to be the person
on the non-emergency line.

(Phone ringing)

Japan’s a very gun-safe country and I like
to illustrate that by the kind of stories

that make the news in Japan.

So a 56 year old cop accidentally,
okay, let’s actually just do the story.

Somebody has been bugging me,
his new story is lead with the bit

so you don’t have to read the article or
as I actually want to go through the steps

and then get to the bit.

So 56 year old cop is at the
Tokyo airport police station

and they’re, oh, it’s time to
take the bulls out of my gun.

So they go to take it out of
the hole so it holds your stiff.

So they yank it out really hard.

It bangs the table and goes off.

Now I was a little confused by that.

My understanding is that
guns are inherently designed.

So in the movies you drop a
gun and it goes off and kills a guy.

That actually happens quite a lot.

My understanding is that
in real life guns are designed

to not, if you bang though, just go off.

So I was thinking, was the gun cocked
and the table hit the hammer of the gun

and then it went off?

Or did the person pulling the gun from the
holster have their finger on the trigger

and then when he hit the
table pulled the trigger?

They didn’t explain any of that.

Well, the explanation
was the holster was stiff.

So I, when I pulled the gun out,
pulled it full force and hit the table.

But that makes me
think they had their finger

on the trigger as they
pulled out their gun.

So no one was hurt, nothing happened.

That’s it.

So like in other countries,
you’d be talking about

like a shooting in the airport,
how many people died in Japan.

Basically nothing happened.

And because a gun was
discharged, it became a news story.

And that is, honestly, one of
the reasons why I think gun control

works because that’s
the news story of the day.

[Music playing]

Ok, we’re getting to
local sort of smaller news.

But shogi players– now you would imagine
shogi’s a kind of chess, Asian chess.

I don’t know if it’s just Japanese.

I think it is, but I
don’t want to say that.

I don’t want to actually make a mistake.

Shogi players, chess players–
if you think about the chess

player personality, you would
think of a relatively pedantic person.

I think that is a fair thing to say.

Shogi players are no different.

They are very pedantic.

So this was a high level tournament.

They had like 6, 10, 7, 10.

I didn’t know what any of that meant.

But it’s the high level.

And then one guy goes, look, that
dude’s not wearing his mask properly.

He’s actually got a mask on, but
it’s covering his mouth, not his nose.

Now, anyone who’s wearing a mask properly
knows that it has to cover all the orify.

I do like pluralizing with the
eye more than anything else.

It has to cover all the
orifices on your face,

as in your mouth, and both your nostrils.

Not your ears or your nose or your eyes.

So he said, like, dude, please put
your mask on properly, cover your nose.

The guy ignored him.

So he did set it a couple more times.

The guy ignored him.

He calls a ref.

He’s like, ref.

Dude’s not wearing his mask properly.

And then the ref says,
dude, you got to wear a mask.

He says, I’m wearing a mask.

There is no rule that
bands exposing your nose.

So the rule is you have to
wear a mask, which would literally

mean interpretation wise.

I could put a mask on the
top of my head, cover nothing

on my face, and that
would follow the rules.

So again, these guys are being pedantic.

The ref being a little more
spirit of the rule rather than

letter of the law,
said, you’re disqualified.

Now, the guy left the venue
and he said, I understand.

I will follow a lawsuit.

If your behavior gets you
to a point where you feel you

need to sue people
for doing things like this,

there may be a moment in your life
where you have to stop and say, am I right?

So the actual– I did
look up the law, the rule.

And the rule is players must wear masks
during matches, except for brief moments.

And what they mean is, I’m wearing a mask.

We’ve been here for
two hours playing chess.

I can take off my mask and take a
drink, and then I put my mask back on.

So that’s the brief exception
where you do not wear a mask.

But this guy decided he
doesn’t want to wear a mask.

This is actually the second time.

It seems like showy
players are not anti-maskers,

but they– I guess they want
to have sort of their nose open

so they can breathe so
they can get more oxygen

or their brain so they
can be more effective.

Drink through the mask.

You could filter out all the bad stuff.

You put the mask on and
just open your mouth inside.

You’ll get some.

But it was just one of those
things that’s just ridiculous.

So I enjoyed that story, because I
just enjoyed the idea of showy players

being super pedantic about everything.

Traditionally, the last story in
ninja ninja Japan is creepy guy time.

It’s not even creepy
gender-neutral person time.

It’s a creepy guy time.

It’s always a dude.

I have put a kibosh on panty theft stories,

and a couple other things like
that that just show up too often,

only because they’ve become too repetitive.

But this creepy dudes– they always find
a new and interesting way to gross me out.

So I’m glad I can look at
that for the rest of my life

and know that I will never be surprised
by how creepy and gross guys can be.

Jr is Japan rail.

So it’s a train station staff.

And he was asked to guide
a visually impaired woman

to the platform, maybe back to the exit.

So just be a good person and help out
someone who struggles every now and then.

The woman then accused
him of sexual harassment.

What?

How is the even possible men
have never sexually harassed anyone

in the entirety of human history?

He claims that because he
had helped her several times

that they were just being friendly.

Now, I don’t want to judge, although
you know clearly I already have.

I don’t want to judge that
the man is overestimating

what is appropriate in
a friendly relationship.

I deal with people all the time.

And yes, I deal with people multiple times.

I sometimes make a racy joke, perhaps.

I don’t actually, because I get in trouble.

So I was like, ok, we got
to find out what he said.

What did he say?

Did he cross the line?

So was he being friendly?

Or was he sexually harassing?

So the first thing he said is, what
time are you coming home today?

Now that, I was like, oh, it
could be interpreted both way.

Like, oh, I’ll be around
when you come home.

So I will help you again.

Very nice thing to say.

Or it could be I’m a stalker and
I’m trying to find out your schedule.

Ok, he accidentally
didn’t say just that though.

He said, let’s go to a
new ramen restaurant.

That’s not ok.

So I think we’ve already crossed the line.

Like, he’s asking her to go with him.

Now, if you want to be generous, we don’t
have to be, because he ruins it later.

If you want to be generous, you could
say he is just recommending a restaurant.

And as a friend, he’s
saying, because they’ve

become very friendly,
let’s go to a ramen together.

I think we both all know that
that’s not what’s happening.

But I’m trying to give him
the benefit of the doubt

just so that his last line kills it harder.

She says, I’d like to go to the elevator.

And he said, oh, if we take the
stairs, I can give you a piggyback.

Piggybacks in Japan.

Now, you might be thinking
that that is weird thing to say.

You could interpret
that as kind of innocent.

Maybe a weird joke.

In Japan, piggybacks are sexual.

In anime and stuff, what you see
are usually girls who love a guy.

And then the guy– they
hurt their foot or something.

There is some mechanic in which they
have to– they have struggled to walk.

And the guy gives him a piggyback.

And then she’s laying sort of her head
on the back of his head or on his shoulder.

And it’s the closeness.

And in Japan, that is not sexual, but
it’s a precursor to a sexual relationship,

if I could put it that way.

I think the thing in itself is not sexual,

but it shows where
this relationship is going.

So there is a sexual undertone to it.

There’s a lot of things like that.

On in Japan, several times I’ve
explained the long distance kiss.

And it’s the idea that I
have my cup of hot water

to keep my voice smooth and romantic.

I take a drink.

And my lips have touched it.

And then I share the
drink with someone else.

And their lips touch the same thing.

So in a very metaphysical way, our
lips have touched in a long distance.

They call that the long distance kiss.

So you can see we’re not kissing,

but there is a sexual
undertone to these other things.

So not the indirect kiss.

That may be the case.

I heard it.

So the way it was explained
to me was long distance.

I just really like that term as well.

So indirect kiss– it means the same thing.

It means you’re not actually kissing,
but your lips are touching the same thing.

So I think we’re on the same page.

But at long distance, I
think I really enjoyed that.

So he said, like I’ll give you a piggyback.

Weird.

Again, has an already crossed a line.

But then the last line, he said,
was, isn’t your chest heavy?

I can carry it for you.

So as generous as we might want to
be, like let’s say we’re in a court of law.

And the guy says, oh, I
was just being friendly.

You could try to interpret
those first two examples

as just friendly and
maybe get away with it.

But isn’t your chest heavy?

I can carry it for you.

I think is not something that
friends would say to each other,

even if it wasn’t an on-set.

Like I’m sorry, I just did.

Again, like I said, he has
sabotaged his own defense.

If his defense was, I
was just being friendly.

His statements would have
had to remain relatively neutral.

And perhaps that’s why the
guy is gross and hitting on people

is because he doesn’t
know how to hit on people.

He doesn’t know how to formulate
that relationship in the first place.

Jadus put in, look,
he’s just being a homie.

Big boobs are heavy.

Back pain is real.

I actually do have some friends who’ve
told me that, yes, the back pain is real.

And yet, I never offered to
carry their boobs for them.

So I think with that beautiful sonata
playing around in the back of your head,

we’re going to end
today’s ninja ninja Japan.

[Music playing]

[Music playing].

An Honest Podcast

So, I got time to make at least one. Don't know about next week. That's going to be close to the New Year's, but an episode in Ninja News Japan. Yay for the holidays. So, I hope you've had a good Christmas. This is coming out right after Christmas. I hope you have a good New Year. Celebrate safely and be happy. But what's going on in Japan? Stealth marketing has become an issue apparently. So, this is where companies pay influencers to pretend they like a product, but they don't make it clear that that product is actually an ad. So, it's like Instagram and they're like, oh, you know, I'm just going to talk about this product I really like. And they've actually been paid by a company to say that. 

The Japan Consumer Affairs Agency is going to classify stealth marketing as improper representation and make that sort of against the law. Now, I say sort of because of the punishments and whatnot. The reasoning is that this interferes with the consumer's ability to make rational purchasing decisions. And that's going to make you feel dirty. When I feel dirty, I use Pabron hand gel. I use Pabron hand gel. It uses ethanol to kill viruses and bacteria on your hands. Let's use a little bit now. It's gel, so it's a little softer. It's not as... You get that sound? That's all I want. Boy, you know, everything on my hands is dead right now. I sure do love killing things. Should something invade my personal space, I will use Asojeto. Use Asojeto to kill any bug that invades your personal space because we love to kill things. Put that away now. That was so dumb. 

All right, anyways. Basically in other countries, there's already regulations. Japan doesn't have any, so this is the first step towards making regulations. Right now in Japan, if you're an influencer and a company pays you, you don't have to say it's an ad. When I upload this to YouTube, there is a button that says includes paid promotion, which I'm supposed to click if I'm getting money for promoting a product, which has not actually happened yet, which is fine. I have promos some things, but that was usually not done for money. It was done for something else. I still click the includes paid promotion just to be safe, but that is only for other countries, actually not for Japan. I say it's not really a law because a lot of Japanese laws, they're vague and meaningless. This sort of to me follows into the same thing. The punishment for breaking this law, for being in violation of this, is naming and shaming. Basically, let's say I just promoted some Babylon hand gel and didn't make it clear that that was a paid promotion. 

Then they would say, Chomping Beef Chest that runs in Japan promoted a product and he got paid for it and he didn't tell anybody. Honestly, as someone who listens to the show or watches the show, would you care? I mean, if the ad was as obvious as I just did, okay, sure. I think the thing of fans of influencers wouldn't care. I guess it's supposed to be when they say stealth, it's like if I did a whole 20, 30 minutes infomercial basically on a product and how much I loved it. That would matter? If you were a fan, I think this is where it falls apart. If you're a fan of the influencer, the fact that the influencer did something to make money, probably wouldn't bother you if they did it slightly stealthy. But I think any reasonable young person who is watching something and they do a whole 20 minutes on let's say a nail care product or something, or perhaps Babylon hand gel, you would figure it out, I think. 

I don't know. I'd give kids more credit today that they're just growing up with this stuff and they kind of just know what's going on. But we'll see if that actually has any impact. I want to actually, again, with most of the laws and new things like that in Japan, I'm interested in the first cases to see how if it actually ends up having an impact, if it's someone that gets upset or angry about having being stealth marketed to, and then the revelation, and then what happens after that. This is unintentionally related, which I quite like. Chinese customers are making a rush on cold medicine in Japan. Basically people come over to Japan, it's either work or tourism or stuff, and they buy up all the cold medicine of a particular type. It's Babylon Gold.

 I actually just grabbed my Babylon hand gel because I got a big tub of it and it's what I fill up the little container that I keep in my bag for when I go to work and stuff, and I keep one on my desk. I do use, I have a weird preference for Pabron cold medicine. I use their allergy medicine when I have really bad allergy days. This is not, I'm not getting paid for this. This is not stealth marketing. I'm actually just telling you the truth. I use Pabron S for really bad allergy days. When I wanted to find a hand sanitizer, I did when I saw Pabron, I was like, ooh, a trusted name, and it's got the gold band. Pabron Gold actually has that image to me. I actually bought this. I was looking for the jelliest gel. It's not actually Pabron was the selling point. This was the thickest gel I could find in a large thing because I like to play with the gel. The longer I play with it on my hands, the more it's actually getting spread around and used, and the more likely I'm going to do it because I actually enjoy weirdly putting the gel on my hands a little bit. 

Just putting that out there, I actually do seem to be a bit of a fan of the Pabron line of products. Pabron Gold cold medicine is what these Chinese customers are looking for specifically. There's a part of the report was one business traveler bought 12 boxes, and then she said she was buying it for herself and her family back home because they said it's very effective against cold symptoms. They're actually thinking about corona symptoms, China having a particularly large problem because they won't admit there's a problem. They wouldn't take on vaccines from other countries, so they're struggling with coronavirus more so than other countries. Since it's believed to help relieve corona symptoms and they're having a lot of trouble back home, they buy boxes of this so they can use it at home when people get corona. This has also set off Japanese people noticing it's missing, so they start stockpiling it as well. You have now two frontal attacks. One, the Chinese people come in and they buy as much as they can, and the Japanese people see, oh, they're buying it also. I better buy some so that I have some when I get sick. Pharmacies are now putting a limit on how many you can buy. 

This became popular in China because Chinese social media said that Pabron Gold is effective. That was not... I'm not saying go buy it, but if you asked me what I recommend, I would end up recommending it. I'm in this loop now of I'm not being paid to promote it, but I absolutely would promote it because I do actually believe it's a good product. Is that better stealth marketing? Pabron better reach out to me pretty fucking soon. YamatoQ is the Japanese branch of QAnon. A bunch of guys were arrested for stomping into a vaccine site and making demands and trying to be disruptive and stuff, and they were all arrested for trespassing. There were five people total. They have all been given 18 months in prison with a three-year suspension. We've actually had a lot of... I didn't really think about what three-year suspension meant because it actually means nothing. You get arrested, you're going to prison for 18 months, but in three years if you don't get in trouble, nothing will happen. Anyways, the crime though was interesting because they... What the judge said was they committed the crime to force their opinion on others. 

The crime was trespassing, they're 18 months, three-year suspension. That's actually hard to argue with. Again, it was just interesting to see actual consequences for these sort of bold behavior, annoying actions. This was one of the weirdest stories for some reason in the last little while. In 2015, it's actually earlier than that. The lawsuit happened in 2015. Anyways, a former post office worker was working and her boss snuck up behind her and slapped tape on her face, on her mouth, and then ripped it off really quickly. She was freaked out. What did she say? I actually do it in order. I was just supposed to go off on a tangent. The tangent is that news tends to do the headlines and stuff and then get into the details, whereas actually if you do it in order, like in chronological order, it's sometimes more interesting, but that makes it harder to write. She said, that hurt, and then the boss said, shall I put lemon on it? Then she reported it to the postmaster. The postmaster then said, he's just teasing you because you're pretty, which is a little bit weird, but again, it's sort of that very dismissive old Japanese man attitude that we come across a lot. Like, oh, you know, you're pretty, he likes you. 

This is like you have a ponytail or pigtails and he's tugging on it because he thinks you're cute, but that doesn't address the actual core issue is that he just walked up to someone, slapped tape on their face, and ripped it off. She got really stressed out. She felt like she was uncomfortable going to work. She ended up not going to work. She ended up quitting. She sued her boss. She sued him for 17 million yen in 2015. This was years and years and years ago. She ended up just recently, the conclusion, she got 2.5 million yen. Now that's, again, the average salary in Japan is like between four and five million yen. She got basically half a year's salary, and that was seven years ago, so she's had to have other jobs and stuff since then. It's just weird, and then they like quoted the boss. What did the boss say? I did it as a prank to ease her mind because we were busy. Which does not sound legit. This whole thing is weird. I just sat there the whole time going, okay, I'm in my office, and it's really busy, and I see my coworker stressed out, and I want to relieve their stress. How do I do that? I would be like, hey, can I help you? Or, hey, is there any job that is sort of sitting in the background that you don't have time to do? 

Maybe I could do that for you. Something like that would alleviate the stress of your coworker. I'm trying to think of the logic would be like, okay, my coworker is stressed out. I really, really want to help them out. So I'll take some tape, I'll sneak up behind them, and I'll put it on their mouth. I'm also wondering if this was in front of customers because they said it was really busy, but put the tape on their mouth and then rip it off really fast so it hurts. I'm assuming if you left it there, it would still hurt. I guess if you take it off slowly, maybe it wouldn't hurt. How does that alleviate their stress? It would alleviate my stress as the sort of abuser, I guess, because I'm getting it out. I was thinking the same thing. Jade just put in the chat, free waxing. I literally was thinking the exact same thing. There is a moment of embarrassment if you look at the tape and there's a whole bunch of hair on it because, whatever, I don't want to. I have delicate skin and a fairly thick beard. I struggle with this because I need beard oil and stuff. If someone slapped tape on me, I don't know. It's such a weird other point of logic that got you to that point where you thought, here's a good idea that will help others. 

Kids are stomping around outside my room. Where do we go from there? I was trying to think of other sort of pranks, but then this is like internet pranks. Internet pranks, A, they're not funny and they're usually really mean. I'm glad that actually the trend has sort of fallen away from internet pranks where they're being shitty. I know a lot of it was fake and active and stuff anyways, but the now new fake trend on YouTube and stuff or TikTok is to do really nice, like give a homeless person money and stuff. Even if that's fake, at least hopefully someone's benefiting. If people see that and go like, oh, it's cool to be nice to people, I'm okay with that. Even if this is all fake and not all garbage, if the trend is towards being kind to others, I'm okay with it even if it's not real. But we've learned that the Japanese post system is full of people who think that the old style of pranking where you just go up and hurt someone and run away and go, ha, ha, ha, it's just a prank, bro. They think that's still cool. Well, a Brazilian woman of Japanese descent, so she lives in Japan. She's a 41 year old Brazilian woman, but her forebears were Japanese. 

So she's, I don't know, this is it. We've gotten into a point where the world where people move around enough and then they come back and stuff, we're all people. She went to apply for welfare. She was married and her husband got in trouble and he lost his job during Corona and then there was a problem. He drove without a license. His license expired and he was driving and he got in trouble and he lost his license and then lost his job. So there's a lot of problems in her life. Most of it seems to be not actually her fault. She's got two kids she's trying to take care of. So she went to the Japanese government, the ward office to apply for welfare. She was told that non-Japanese people don't get, if you're not Japanese, you don't get welfare. And then they said she should return to her home country. They provided her with false information. She went out and she's really confused. She's like, the ward office told me that I can't get welfare even though I'm a long-term resident. That is all incorrect. She came back with a lawyer and some friends and actually started getting the welfare she needed. But of course then it takes weeks, which is terrible. 

There is a thing that everyone should know if you're a long-term resident of Japan. So I'm a permanent resident, so I would qualify. But anyone who's been here for a long time, there is the Public Assistance Act and it says citizens who are living in poverty are eligible for government assistance. Now, it says nothing, it doesn't define what a citizen is, but a citizen is someone who lives in Japan. The government then made a statement. It concerns, oh, sorry, I have to get past that. That's the last part. So anyways, these officials are now getting in trouble for providing false information because actually as a government official, when you're asked a question about government policies, you're actually supposed to provide correct information. The news went to the government officials, the government office and said, what's going on? And they said, because it concerns personal information, we cannot provide any response at the moment, which is probably technically true, but also a way of not trying to get out of it. Someone in the ward office of that city needs to get fired because of the low-key racism that is unfortunately still a very common problem in Japan. So we've gotten to the end of the year. 

This is a very short News Japan because I only had so much time taking care of family, cleaning the house. I don't want to make excuses. Actually, I thought I wasn't going to get to do any. I got to do this. Pretty happy about it. It's the end of the year. So this is when you get compilation like best sports moments of the year. That's actually my favorite videos. You get best of's, top 10s, lists, but of course the best one that comes out, Pornhub's search terms of the year. So they actually do a really interesting report every year. It's how much time people spend looking at certain things, their search terms, regions. They have a map of America and the most searched term in each state, which is always really interesting because the more conservative states tend to do the most diverse searches might be the way to put it. In 2021 last year, the number one and number two most searched terms, this is worldwide though specifically. Number one was hentai, Japanese product. Number two, Japanese, also a Japanese product. So the big question is from 2021 to 2022, did things hold over? Jay just put, I think I really liked Iowa and Indiana searches. 

I'm going to have to go and look them up now. This was released I think just a couple of days ago. So you'd be able to actually see all the searches. I only was cared about the ones that were relevant to Japan. I remembered that 2021 had hentai and Japanese as number one and number two. What has happened in 2022? I would do a drum roll, but I'm not going to. Exactly the same. Number one is hentai. Number two is Japanese. I think it rocks Japanese industriousness wins out again. I think I hear Dave. He's going to stand outside my door and just be silent and send vibes for me to open the door. America is the number one user of Pornhub. So the American rankings are slightly different than worldwide. Hentai is number one, Japanese number two. In the US, number two is lesbian. So I don't know if it's a lot of lesbians searching for something that they're familiar with or a lot of straight dudes just trying to figure out what's going on. I don't think I should start talking about lesbian porn and straight men. I have a lesbian friend and she said the most unrealistic thing, because you know of course porn is unrealistic, the most unrealistic thing about lesbian porn is their fingernails because they all have really long fingernails. Oh no, no, Jade, believe me, I know who's looking at porn. What I was going to talk about was the psychology of men just looking, because they're so straight they can't even have a penis in there. Having a penis is gay. 

So I think if you're really a straight man, you should cut off your penis because what is the gayest thing about a man? It's the dick. So if you don't have a dick, then you're not gay. There's some logic for you. It's the dudes talk... I actually really enjoyed that video. It was dudes talking about how they don't look at their own penises and stuff and they don't look at men and they don't see men in things because that's all super gay. Anyways, just get to the last point. In the US, so number two with lesbian, number one remains hentai, Japanese products. So Japan tops the world with their hentai pornography, which is a category I've never watched. Now having seen it two years in a row, because I want to support Japan. I live in Japan. I've lived in Japan a long time. I want to support Japan. Maybe I should take a look at it, but I'm wondering what it is specifically that they like. I'm being really honest, I like the real ladies and men. I'm not against having some penises in my pornography. I actually think that's fine. The interesting bit of information that came up from this article, it's not Japan related, is that reality, so amateurs and stuff like that, but the reality search tag increased like 300, 400%. 

So people aren't looking for produced porn. They're not looking for the professionally done pornographic films. They're actually looking for more amateur, more real. Outdoors is a category that jumped up, because people, yeah, they just want like, oh, normal people doing exciting, risky things seems to be the trend at the moment. I was wondering if that's because of coronavirus. We want real life again. So these porn searches kind of reflect the psychology of that I'm interested in. I might actually go back and read the article. I was interested in the relationship to Japan specifically, because I wanted to know if it was hentai in Japanese. And again, I want to say one more time, it is Japan rules the Pornhub algorithm. But it's interesting, you get sort of insight into the world psychology that people don't want to talk about. Because let's face it, people are, when they're doing their search terms, they're being honest in what they want to see. They're not lying to themselves in that moment, which is something we should take into the new year. I'm going to say something kind of inspiring as I can for the last moments of Ninja News Japan of 2022. Be as honest with yourself as you are with your search terms in pornography. Because if you can be as true to yourself as you are to your porn searches, you can be honest and open. And then you can be honest and open with other people in their pornographic search terms. And we can start to understand each other just a little bit better. And maybe that's the path to world peace.

We’re not going to talk about 24

I think we are on the corona train, or cruise, in this case, until the country just figures out that you don’t go out for drinks and get sick or make people sick. That and there seems to be a booming shoe theft underworld going on.

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Carbon Neutral…Here

Japan’s efforts to go carbon neutral run in to a snag if you share the air with Australia, which we do. Nintendo really doesn’t want you to look at Bowsers penis and I have some sympathy for a guy who wants to drink on the job.

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