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Okay, so I got a house full of sick kids.
I don’t know how good
this is going to be today.
Since summer break, the kids
get like a month off and then
there’s been things happened
and then everyone got sick.
We’re not sure if it’s the flu or
COVID or whatnot, but oh my God.
I’m not getting that one day a week.
I usually get to just be
by myself and do my stuff.
I don’t think people come here to listen
to me complain about my personal issues.
Ah, I mean, maybe they do.
Maybe that’s that little
insight into my personal life.
That makes this the more appealing format
where you can get to know me as a person.
by me bitching continually
about honestly very minor things.
Would you, there’s something
maybe I should get some feedback on.
Would you like to hear about
the very minor things that suck
in my life that really are
essentially first world problems?
I’m going to go ahead and assume not.
Let’s just start.
When people come to
Japan, a lot of people
have an image of Japan and it comes
from movies and it involves Shibuya.
Shibuya is a sort of Mecca or where
you would come in Japan downtown Tokyo.
Let’s party on.
Let’s get our drink gone.
Let’s have a good time.
That is problematic because the
police were giving out 200 warnings a day.
And so Shibuya, the district has
decided to go with zero public drinking.
Now this is an interesting
thing about Japan.
Public drinking in Japan is legal.
And in most Western places, I know
like you can drink in bars and pubs.
You can drink in establishments,
but you can’t drink in public.
So when foreign people come
over, they get real excited
by the idea of just drinking
all the time everywhere.
So the first time people
realize that you can
drink on the train
and not get in trouble.
They every day after work,
they’ll get on the train and drink.
They don’t take a moment
and look around and
notice that no one else
is actually doing that.
Drinking on trains is kind of a
shinkun-send tradition, the bullet train.
So when I’m going to Osaka,
maybe, my way home, like crack
a beer on your way home from
your hard day to business trip.
That is acceptable.
But if you’re taking
your local train or
the subway back to
your house, that’s weird.
And you still see people
do it, but they’re also weird.
And that’s maybe
something that people miss.
And so I have met several
people who’ve come over.
And every opportunity they
have to drink in public, they do.
And it’s kind of like an over-correction.
Like, I wasn’t allowed
to do this at all at home.
I can do it now.
Therefore, I should do
it as much as possible.
Or the reality is you
should maybe just be normal.
So you can drink in parks.
You can drink at sort
of some events, some are
not drinking, but some
events you can drink at.
You know, you can drink on the train.
And you’re not going to get arrested, except
now in Shibuya, you might get arrested.
You probably get a fine.
I don’t think that zero
public drinking probably
is going to be a fine,
not an arrestable offense.
The problem is, so they’ve
increased patrols in the area.
And that didn’t help.
And then the restaurant
that people would stand
outside the restaurant
and drink and then leave all their garbage
outside the front of the restaurant,
making it less appealing for
people to come into their restaurant.
So this is not officially
obstruction of business.
So it doesn’t get a dang
doesn’t go up on the board,
but it’s there in the
background waiting like a vampire.
I got vampires on my head.
I watched a couple of
vampire movies recently.
But it’s there stalking you.
The obstruction of business charge.
It’s coming for you.
It will sink its dark dank teeth
into the throat of freedom.
Oh, last week, this is
where it became a new story.
Some guy, some foreign
people decided it would
be a good idea to
start taunting the cops.
We’re asking them to stop
and throw away their trash.
Here’s a piece of advice
for anyone at it anywhere.
Don’t taunt the police.
Now, I’m not the police in Japan.
I’m not going to shoot you, not
like in America or other places.
You wouldn’t taunt the police in America.
You would not really.
If you’re sensible, you wouldn’t taunt
the police where I come from Canada.
Because you would probably get thrown
to the ground and arrested pretty quickly.
They would find a charge in Japan.
It doesn’t quite work that way,
but that you have to understand.
You’ve listened to Ninja News
Japan three, four, five times now.
Not even like a long-term list.
You’ve heard the story
of how people can be held
on multiple charges for
an extended amount of time.
This is how the police in Japan work.
They don’t shoot you.
They hold you for 20
days on a single charge.
Then they hold you for
20 days on another charge.
They ruin your life.
They make you lose your job.
They take away your
because you’ve lost your job.
You’re probably your
visas connected to your job.
You get deported.
You lose anything you had here.
You don’t get to take home with you.
That’s another thing
people don’t understand.
If you get deported from
Japan, it’s not like you get to go
to the bank and take all your
money out before you leave.
The police just say, “Oh,
that bank account is ours now.
Your apartment, you
don’t get to go home and
collect all the things
you brought with you.”
So, like, my incredibly noticeable
valuable in the corner of the video.
You just get on an
airplane and get sent back.
Then they’ll go to your house and
take all your stuff, keep it or sell it.
I don’t know, but this is it.
You might have some stuff you
really is really important to you in there.
That’s not yours anymore.
And this really messes up
your life and you’re not being
allowed back in Japan ever
again, so you’re never coming back.
So, that’s something to keep in
mind about taunting the police.
Yes, you are probably not
going to get shot, but yes,
if you push it too hard,
they will ruin your life.
Okay, so what did gamers need?
I’m a gamer. I play video games.
If you watch on stream, you’ve
seen me play a video game.
I shoot things.
I particularly like things that explode.
I have a very simple male
brain where a shoot boom
is the most satisfying
experience I can have in life.
I have just described my sex life.
The gamers need fuel.
They need cut noodles.
But cut noodles aren’t enough
because that sustenance.
You need also something you know,
boost you. You also need caffeine.
You don’t have time to eat noodles and then
switch over to a drink and drink the drink.
You don’t have time
for that kind of life, that
kind of hassle because
you’re too busy gaming.
You’re doing rad moves in 360 no-scopes.
Trying really hard to think of
some out of date gamer terms
and the first thing that came
up to mind was skateboard.
Skateboard slang from the 90s.
Do you don’t have time to
eat and use the secondary?
Like this is stupid.
So the audio solution
to be take your mountain
dew code red and put
it into your noodles.
Well, that’s disgusting.
It doesn’t actually taste good.
Like I’m not, well, you might like it.
I have a more elevated palette
so that doesn’t do it for me.
We’ve seen his step in.
Listen is the creator of the cup noodle.
These are the people who made
cup noodles in the first place.
They have stepped in
with the gaming cup noodle.
There’s two kinds.
You can get garlic and black pepper.
Or you can get gaming, curry, michi,
which has rice instead of noodles.
It’s energy, ginger, chemo flavor.
The cup noodles is garlic and black pepper.
Don’t know if I just said that or not.
They’ve also put in some additives
to really boost your gaming acumen.
The first being, of course, caffeine.
Because what do you want
in your cup noodles more
than anything else, but
the addition of caffeine?
I’m not 100% sure I’m saying that right.
I have noticed all three of those
ingredients are in hangover cures in Japan.
So when you get a hangover in Japan,
you can buy these little energy drinks.
And in those energy
drinks always includes
caffeine, arganine, and
niacin, and something else.
I can’t remember what it is.
But clearly, if you’re studying
or gaming or have a hangover,
Niacin has actually
just come to the rescue.
I do have friend Jade
who sent this to me before
I even saw the article
of it being released.
So if I can, I’m going to
find a case and send it.
If you would like your case
of Niacin game or noodles,
well, I’m going to
charge you an exorbitant
rate, but I would
consider getting it for you.
The Japanese prisons.
We did just talk about foreign
people taunting the police.
Another reason not to go to
Japanese prison is in Japanese prisons.
You might get abused.
There have been 22 cases of guards
being accused of assault in the last year.
And so they’re like, “Ah, we shouldn’t
have guards assaulting inmates.
We shouldn’t have guards
treating them poorly.
We should try to fix this.”
So what we’re going
to do is have the guards
address all the prisoners
by the honorable son.
So criminal son, not
their niacin to say it.
They would say you would have
to swap out criminal for the name.
But you know what I mean.
So it would be Chiangmi beef chest son
instead of Chiangmi beef chest, Yatsura.
I don’t know if they actually say
the name or they just say Yatsura.
This is a new phrase for me.
So I was actually quite
excited I learned this.
They refer to inmates
as Yatsura, which would
translate to guys, but it’s
basically saying convicts.
So I think you wouldn’t
say name plus Yatsura.
You would just say
Yatsura because you’re just
saying, “Oi, you do believe
when I go into ignorant,
I always do this like
really bad British accent.”
This of course is going
to fix the assault problem.
So you have guards who
have assaulted Yatsura.
They say, “Well, stop calling them
Yatsura to start calling them the son.”
So as they’re hitting them and they
go like, “You deserve this, criminal son.”
This is your punishment
for being bad criminal son.
You’re a terrible criminal son.
If you’re a bad criminal son and then that
will fix the assault problem, apparently.
This, as an experiment,
has just started, but it’s
actually already been
going on in women’s prisons.
The interesting is after
they started saying, like,
“We’re not going to call
them Yatsura anymore.
We’re going to call
them like name plus son.”
Some of the inmates reported feeling
embarrassed when they were being
addressed politely because
they’re essentially just not used to it.
So I guess if I’ve been
in prison for a decade and
the whole time they’ve
been calling me Yatsura.
Then suddenly they start going,
“Chang, my beef chest son.”
I’d be like, “Oh, Yammit,
they could have signed.”
“Oh, God,” said, “Let’s see.
Can I do that? Can I–“
“Yammit, they could have signed.”
Maybe we’re going to switch
to a really weeb ASMR channel.
“Yammit, they could have signed.”
Now that I have his new
microphone, that ups sort of
the deep end of my voice,
my voice is not that deep.
The microphone has settings and I
put the settings when I do the podcast
onto the dark settings to make it
sort of a heavier sound in your ears.
So it sounds sort of more romantic
because that is kind of what I’m going for.
When you introduce your
pen, it’s not actually about
news. It’s not reporting.
It’s not about entertainment.
It’s not about humor. It’s about romance.
“Yammit, they could have signed.”
This–freak me out. I don’t know, did it?
I was weirded out by this.
A nine-year-old has
passed the third level of the
bookkeeping exams for adults,
not like there’s a kids one.
This child took the Japan’s
Chamber of Commerce
and Industry exam
after studying on his own.
This year, there were 113,294 test takers
and it only has a 43% pass rate as in 2022.
So last year, only 43%
pass. We don’t–oh, we
do have the results
because the kid passed.
The third level states
that you have mastered the
basics of commercial
bookkeeping and books for business.
This kid’s dream is to be a game programmer or start his
own business, but took an interest in math and so the
father encouraged the kid and gave him some like
bookkeeping stuff and then helped him when he was studying.
The kid decided to take this test on
his own. This is–I don’t know if this is
really good or really bad or this is
some sort of like new generation of things.
Japanese kids do tend to hyper-focus on stuff and usually
it’s trains and they grow out of it, but then like you
got this kid who has earned a business accreditation at
nine years old, could just keep going, would be insane.
So he had to help with his
father and some terminology.
So he struggled with
the idea of deprecation.
So like I buy a car and the car, as soon as
I drive off the lot, the value goes down.
So that, again, for a
nine-year-old conceptually, the car
is only eight seconds old.
How can it have lost value?
But once he figured that kind of
stuff out, he said this was like kind of
exciting. It was a new language. It
was a new way to think about things.
And he wants to take the level
two test next year. Now, a story I
didn’t actually put into my notes
because I only saw this morning.
He didn’t have time to read
it. He said, “And 11-year-old,
a Japanese kid, has just
climbed, met, killed in Manjaro.”
And I’m like, “My kids are in
bed and they haven’t done shit.”
Talking about kids. Kids in school.
There’s a lot of absenteeism.
So this is like coronavirus has really
messed up kids’ heads. Japan has
a lot of trouble with hekekumori.
Hekekumori is the stay-at-home people.
Like they basically just
never leave their house
or sort of always stay in
their room kind of thing.
They don’t want to interact
with society. A lot of it comes
down to mental stress or trauma
or bullying and stuff like that.
There’s a lot of absenteeism. They
are talking a lot of it up to coronavirus
because these kids are just not
comfortable in a school environment.
So they’re just staying
home. And they’re still trying to
do classes. They may do it
through Zoom or something else.
What they want to do is try to
find ways to bring these kids back in.
So they’ve created one meter
tall robots with a pad for a head.
Like I’ve seen this joke on
TV before, like on sitcoms
where they have the
robot roll around the room.
It’s got a mic and a speaker and a camera
for two-way communication so that these
kids from their room can move around
the classroom and actually join in class.
In 2022, 2,760 kids were not attending
school at all. They were staying home.
This is up from the last number that was in
the article. It was 2018. There was 1,283.
So there’s a lot of kids suffering from anxiety. A
couple of kids they talked to after doing this said that
their self-esteem went up and they felt like they could
do it and they were thinking about going back to school.
So while I would make fun
of the style of presentation,
the fact that it’s successful
kind of means that the…
I mean if you’re helping kids,
I can’t complain about that.
I’m thinking about maybe
trying to make a change
the format a little in
the stories that I do.
So we have a YouTuber
turned politician and he refers
to himself as super
crazy-curd and he was arrested.
So I was kind of like, “Is there
a way we could play a game
where I give you all the information
about super crazy-cune?”
And then you try to guess what he was
arrested for. Now it doesn’t really work
on a podcast or the video because I
would need sort of real-time interaction.
But I guess I could do week to
week. So this is my thing. I set
up the question during the
podcast and I don’t give the answer.
You have a week to send
in the answer. If you send in
the answer, I’d have to
have some kind of prize for it.
But like, “Game or Noodles,” I could send
you “Game or Noodles” if I can find them.
Or, and then the next week
I give the answer and the
award winner and then we
could set up another one.
Like, “What was this guy
arrested for?” It’d be a
fun game. I think I’d
rather do it. I don’t know.
Again, live. People could
look at it. I guess you could
see the problems. You could
look it up online and stuff.
It’d be hard to manage the game
because the problem is I’m getting all
my information from the Internet,
which means you could just look up.
Once I give you enough information,
you could find the exact story properly.
As soon as I write in
super crazy code, if you type
that into the Internet
right now, it wouldn’t work.
Maybe I’ll have to bring in some people or
a bit and have them play this game with me.
It might be a game in the
future. We might be doing a
special Ninja Ninja Japan.
What was he arrested for?
They’d come up with a game
show, “Jingle” or something.
Anyways, super crazy code was arrested. He is a former
musician, boss of Zoku, boss of Zoku, who’s like
a youth motorcycle gang who kind of wants to be in
the yakuza, but haven’t quite hit that level yet.
He decided to run for
office in 2021, but his win was
revoked because concerned
citizens filed a complaint.
He went back and tried
again and he won in 2023 April.
He was then recently arrested for
non-consensual sexual injury with a woman.
It is. I’m not going to touch that one.
There are no jokes there at all.
I got nothing. I don’t want to touch that.
A woman met several men 12 times
over the course of this interesting case.
She met them via an Internet matching site.
The whole point of this is related
to one of our sugar daddy episodes
where we talked about a girl who
wrote a book up like a how-to book.
Someone else bought it, used it
actually made a ton of money, and then fed
back so that the police actually
arrested the woman who wrote this book.
Sugar daddy, I’m wondering
if it’s illegal because
it doesn’t seem like it
would be illegal to me.
I guess it’s the fraud or the scam
aspect of it that wouldn’t make it illegal.
If I say please go out with
me, I’ll give you $100,000.
You go out with me and I give you $100,000.
It’s not prostitution.
There’s no real reason
for that to be illegal.
I guess. It was interesting
because the legality of
this seems very great
to me, but we’ve had a girl.
I guess constructing a how-to
commit fraud book is probably illegal.
Executing the information from
a how-to fraud book is illegal.
This girl, she’s done, this is a different
issue, which is why I brought it up.
This she’s doing her sugar daddy activity.
She met 12 guys.
She’s taken them for
220,000 yen that we know of.
Basically, she meets
them for meals, hasn’t been
with them, and then they
have to give her some money.
Someone, I do enjoy that. Someone
reported it to the government
because she actually during the
daytime worked for the government.
So she worked for the government
during the day. She took a paycheck.
She would go out for dinner with
it, probably a different guy every day.
Maybe rotate them through.
But when she went out for dinner
with these guys, she would
expect them to give her money.
Someone, so I’m going to
assume one of the guys who figured
out he was being scammed,
reported this to the government.
So what did the punishment
for that? See, this
is a good game. There
is a good game in here.
What do you think the punishment
was? So for a super crazy
crew in the previous story,
what was he arrested for?
And then a different category
is what was the punishment?
So we know she was arrested for sugar daddy
stuff. She was scamming men for money.
But she was also working
for the government. When you
work for the government,
you can’t have another job.
It’s profitable. So they’re
saying like, what was specifically?
She was engaged in unauthorized
profit making activities.
So they’re saying like,
you weren’t doing this for
fun. This was for you to
make money. You can’t do that.
I guess unauthorized. Maybe if you asked
an advance, you asked your boss, hey, can I
go out with these men and take money off them
and your boss said, okay, then it’s okay.
The lots of companies have like you can’t work for a competing company.
The government in Japan actually has you can’t make a profit on
another venture without discussing us first because it might embarrass
the government, which sort of sugar daddy stuff absolutely would.
The punishment, no jail
time, nothing like that,
but she is having her
salary cut by one tenth.
I don’t know how much
money she was making,
so I don’t know how
much money she’s losing.
I’m betting the 220,000 yen she
made kind of makes up the difference.
So is that okay or not? I don’t know.
Yeah, it’s kind of slimy.
Speaking of a 10% pay cut, what else would
you have to do? Here’s my third game show.
What do you need to do to
get a 10% pay cut in Japan?
Well, if you are an official of the transportation
bureau, operational center and your drunk
and you get frustrated when a ticket machine
shows an error message, that itself isn’t enough.
What you need to do is when the
station employee comes over because
of the error message, you probably
try to fix it for your help you.
You shove them and start kicking them.
So what actually happened was this guy
had 10 beers at a party and then he went
to Karaoke and had 2 more beers and then
he went to the train station to go home.
He went, he has a monthly
pass thing. He went into
the station and then
tried to leave the station.
Now the machine doesn’t allow
you to do that. If you go into
the station, you have to go to
a different station and come out.
If you want to leave the station,
you’ve got to go talk to the ticket guy.
So you go talk to the ticket
guy and say, “I forgot something
at work or I need to get out
and I’ll come back in a minute.”
They will reset your card. It
has to do with payments and
stuff like that and they’re
trying to be careful of fraud.
So it does make sense. The
first time it happens to you, like
I, let’s say, ran to the station
and I forgot my umbrella.
So I want to go out and I haven’t
actually traveled anywhere. If I put my
card on the machine, the machine will
beep and say, “Sorry, you can’t go out.”
You go talk to the ticket guy and say,
“I forgot something. I just want to run
back to the office. They’ll just take your
card, beep it, and then you can go out.”
No problem. It’s reset. This
guy being drunk, not of his best
mental faculties, probably didn’t
realize that he had messed it up.
So when the ticket dude
comes over to help him, he
starts shoving and then
he started kicking the guy.
He did, I say afterwards, this is I’m assuming
after he’s sobered up. I’m very sorry to
be the perpetrator despite our calls for the
prevention of violence against station staff.
He’s pretty fair. I mean, he literally
works for the operation center where
they would be like saying, “Treating
station staff like shit is wrong.”
He’s a mic coworker and then he does it.
10% pay cut and well deserved.
The last story is just a little
update and it’s the Stein’s Gate guy.
So this guy, we’ve reported I
think two or three times. What he
had done is he took the visual
novels, not like a video game.
He took a visual novel
and he played through
it and he recorded
and posted on YouTube.
But it had endings and the endings sort of
with the company’s arguing with lower the
motivation of people to actually buy the game if
they’ve actually seen the ending of the story.
And he played multiple endings
if they’re multiple endings.
He also did what they call fast movies. Now this is not a fast movie.
This would be I guess a fast anime where you take a movie or in this
case an anime to spy family anime and you cut it down into like five,
ten minute things so the people don’t have to watch the whole thing.
They just watch the important
bits and you cut out all the
stuff so that you can actually
watch the video really quickly.
So he’s clearly just taking
stuff, putting it on the Internet,
trying to get his much money
he can from a YouTube views.
In that time, so by spoiling
the ending so you don’t
have to play the game, you
don’t have to watch the anime.
Companies went after him
perfectly fair. I mean he is trying to
essentially ruin their business model
by giving away spoilers and endings.
I am not a big spoilers and endings as a problem kind
of guy. If it’s not purposeful, when it’s purposeful I’m
like, “Well you do that on purpose, that’s kind of shitty.”
If we just were talking, he’d spoil something for me.
I’d die okay, whatever,
I’ll let it go. I’ve never
been one of those people
who were like, “Spoila!!”
But he said, “I just wanted someone
to see what I made as part of my
hobby, my hobby being ruining the
ending of stories for other people.”
So what is the punishment that you would get
for that? Two years suspended sentence, so if he
doesn’t get in trouble for five years, he won’t
have to go to prison at all and one million.
So right now it’s just a 1
million yen fine. If he commits
a crime again, he’s going to
have to do two years in prison.
A lot of people on the
Internet were saying that this is
like too harsh or unfair or
something, but I don’t know.
I actually don’t know.
There’s no one where I’d like to sit down and sort
of talk through the different aspects of it because
the companies have a right to protect themselves,
but also with the strike going on and everything.
I don’t have a lot of love for
the companies, so then getting
screwed over doesn’t hurt me.
It doesn’t upset me, I don’t know.