The Batman of Old Dirty Men

Okay, last week, there was
no episode, ’cause I was sick.

It’s not too bad, I caught a cold,

but you can probably still
hear my voice is a little rough.

That means this is maybe
going to be more of an NPR style

version of the podcast as
I gently speak into the mic.

Like say, thank you to Malcolm M.

Let’s go, good looking out brother.

It was a really nice thing you did,

and it really helped
me get back in the chair

today to actually do
some actual podcasting.

(upbeat music)

So the week I get sick, I
thought it was gonna be Halloween,

so it was gonna be all
Halloween news and crazy events.

and it turns out they’re shutting
down, should be actually worked.

So there wasn’t any sort of like big event,

they moved to other
areas, but those other areas,

it just wasn’t the same vibe.

They didn’t tear up the streets, so
we just didn’t get any exciting news.

It was not terrible.

There is lately we’ve been getting
like one gross, dirty old man story,

and the last two weeks have had
a multitude of dirty old man story.

So I guess this is my alibi,
because people like one,

like oh, a dirty old man did
stuff, Peter, you’re a dirty old man,

and I’m like no, no, no, no, I
was in bed sick, I have an alibi.

I just didn’t have the energy to be dirty.

This is not very good.

(chuckles).

So sugar baby would eat each other.

I thought we were done with her.

She didn’t go down by herself.

Mm, sex jokes come to mind
really quick, quite easy stuff like that.

She pulled down two hosts with her.

(chuckles)

Oh, she pulled down two hosts.

Basically, it turns out this chick
had made like a million dollars.

And instead of keeping that
million dollars who she could

just basically live for the
rest of her life without working,

she went to host clubs and
spent all her money on hosts.

I don’t expect criminals to be responsible,

but some semblance of
planning should be put into play.

Like she clearly just thought
she was gonna be scamming men

forever, and my whole deal with the sugar
baby thing is it’s based on the baby part.

Your capitalizing on your youth.

So you got a plan for when that runs
out because it’s not gonna last very long.

The main claim is they know the money she
was using at the host club came from fraud.

So therefore they are complicit
in the fraud because they

were accepting money that
had been received via the fraud.

One of the hosts even sent
a message to the DD-chan

saying, I’m also in a
complacent of DD-chan.

If she gets caught, I’ll go down too,
which is kind of romantic in a way

except then it absolutely
happened that way.

So she got caught and you are going down to

the police raided the host
bar to check the accounting

the books and see where
the cash flow is coming from.

But the fact is these two guys are getting
nailed for fraud ’cause you know what?

And they probably
weren’t nailing the DD-chan.

If we’re being really honest
because that’s the whole

point of a host ’cause just
like the sugar baby thing

is you keep stringing
them along for as long

as possible so they
keep giving you money.

She was ripping off these old
men to get money from them.

She was then turning
around and giving that money

to guys who were stringing her along and
probably not giving her what she wanted.

And I guess the cycle continues.

(upbeat music)

Over one million nuisance calls

have been made to the Jupyter
Japanese embassy in Beijing.

So they’ve released the first batch.

of Fukushima water from the plants.

It had been determined that
this was the safest way to do it

to release it in small
batches into the ocean.

China, Russia, both said no, don’t do that.

The plan they came up with was
dispersant into the atmosphere which,

okay, I don’t know the science
behind it but it doesn’t seem better.

I’m not saying it’s worse.

I don’t know.

But I don’t think dispersing
it one way over another.

If you’re dispersing it, that’s bad.

So if you’re gonna be angry, just
be angry that’s been dispersed.

Because Japan didn’t follow the plan

that was put forward by
Beijing and why would they?

Again, the incredibly
contentious relationship

these two countries have
had over a bunch of years.

I mean, there’s no way they’re gonna be
working together on something like this.

So I guess the Chinese people wanted to
express their discontent with the situation.

So there were 40,000 calls made on August
25th and that is 15,000 a day recently.

And so a Japanese person
who works at the embassy,

maybe even a Chinese person who works
for the embassy, answers to the phone.

And what they will either get is
criticism, silence, or a bomb threat.

(upbeat music)

I think I’m hitting the
transition button too fast.

I actually was gonna talk about how
that’s not how you change anyone’s mind.

I think we all know that though.

I’m worried that I say the
same things over and over again.

And so that’s, I’m trying to
decide, should I say everything

that’s in my head, which may be very
repetitive, or do I just like stop and move on?

‘Cause I guess I could
see this is the problem

with getting over an illness and trying to
do a podcast is your brain doesn’t work.

The R-Chax.

So I have had a theory
that Japan is in the process

of building its own mega,
mega, anime, robot, giant thing.

They have not perfected, but
they have created a rail gun,

a real functional rail gun, which to
me seems like a very mech technology.

Now there’s a company.

You can buy your own, it’s 4.5 meters tall,

so it’s not giant yet, but
you know, it’s a big, big boy.

3.5 metric tons, so not imperial tons.

They say that the
controls are gentle enough

that you can pick up
an empty plastic bottle

without crushing it, but
then also you can crush it

because it has the crushing power.

It costs, so if you want this
thing, it costs 400 million yet,

which is $2.67 million American.

It does include training and a
one year maintenance guarantee.

So that sounds cool,
like, okay, you get your

mech, you get trained
on how to use the mech,

and now you get to go
around and play with your mech.

No, you’re not allowed to put
on the road, it’s not road safe.

It has a three degree tilt warning,
so if it tilts more than three degrees,

the warning will go off, and
actually at five degrees, it will stop.

So because roads tilt more
than five degrees quite regularly,

it won’t be able to go on the road.

So it has to go on only completely flat
services, the money, this is not a prototype,

but it is not a war machine
designed for use in the field yet.

This is sort of how you make your money,
’cause what they want to do is first,

we’re gonna create mechs
for personal entertainment,

so rich people can drive around,
they’ll be getting more money.

Then we’re gonna make
more serious machines,

and they’re saying for disaster
recovery and space development,

but I think we all know what that really
means is we’re gonna build a giant mech.

And then recently, I
think it was in Kagoshima,

they took the giant
spear from an anime,

from Neon Evangel,

Evo Genesis mode, fuck.

I didn’t write this one down,
’cause I wasn’t gonna talk about it,

but they stuck that in the ground, so
you have these guys making a mech,

you have a railgun under
construction by the military,

and you have the
actual fictional spear from

an anime coming to
life, Evangel, what is it?

Neon Genesis Evangel, I think.

And they took the spear
from that, the model of it,

and then this steel company actually
made the steel and stuck it in the ground.

So now you have three of the elements

that I think you need to create
not just an anime, but the real life.

You have the machine
and the technology exists.

You have the railgun, so it actually
can shoot like hypersonic things,

and you have the spear to make
it look so it can do the poses.

Inside, this was a bit, I
actually found interesting,

there’s no window, so once you get
in, it’s just got screams in the cockpit.

So that is, hmm, I don’t know, it’s a
little claustrophobic for me, maybe.

I would like a windscreen, I
would like to be able to see outside.

It’s one of the things like
in spaceships and stuff,

but it actually doesn’t make
sense to have windscreen,

so you can actually see, you would want
displays, but at the same time, we’re humans,

and if we are in spaces with
no windows, we cater freak out.

(upbeat music)

It’s the creator of Super Smash Brothers.

It was Masahiro Sakudai.

I have to write that down
to make sure you’re right,

I’m not a Super Smash
Brothers fan, but I’m not.

I’m not against it, if you wanna
play it, and have a good time.

I hope you enjoy your life.

He was playing Streets of Rage 2 on a video,
celebrating 40 years of Sega hardware,

and I was stopped from a
little bit of Sega hardware.

So I guess this is historically speaking,

’cause I don’t think there’s
any Sega hardware anymore.

They still make games.

I still play all the Yakuza and
like a dragon games, and stuff.

So I’m still giving money to
the Sega company, but hardware

seems to stand out to me as a
weird element of that sentence.

So I think they were
celebrating like 40 years ago,

and I think that’s the same
as Sega used to have hardware,

not 40 years of being
in the hardware business.

So he did a move, so you can see up
the skirt of the female character Blaze.

In the Western version,
you don’t see anything.

You can’t do this move
and then see up her skirt,

and he said, “I think
Japan, I think Japanese,

“have a higher tolerance for itchy stuff.”

Which is probably true,
especially in modern society,

the West has moved along
where a lot of this stuff

would get criticized quite heavily, whereas
in Japan it’s just like, “Ooh, panties.”

And a lot of people,
they wouldn’t be angry

about it to be like,
“Of course, panties.”

‘Cause I mean, my first thought was like,

of course, the creator of
a game knows how to do

a move where you can
look up with girls’ pants,

but then they put in these games
where one of my favorite things.

in Lollipop Chainsaw and near
Automata, Automata, “Ooh, the Littlera.”.

Was, if you could get the camera
down under where her skirt was,

the character would pull her skirt so
you couldn’t look up at her underwear.

But, if you did enough,
you got an achievement.

So when I found out, I did
try spending massive amounts

of time trying to look
up these girls’ skirts,

not because I wanted
to see up their skirts

because a digital underwear
doesn’t do it for me,

but I wanted the achievement, the
creepy, creepy achievement, essentially.

This is not the first time
the tolerance for violence

in the West and the tolerance for
weird porn stuff in the East has come up.

There was a conversation
between two developers

and that’s what they
were talking about.

They were saying like, Japanese
people just have a higher tolerance

for sexuality, whereas Western
people have a higher tolerance

for violence and saying like, people say
that one is bad and the other’s acceptable.

It’s the same problem you have on TV where
a show will be rated for, let’s say, teens

and I’ll have a massive amount of
violence, but you can’t show any boobies.

But boobies, I would actually
say they’re less damaging.

than hours and hours of Gore and violence.

Who knows?

Again, our rating system is
a different way of thinking.

I think boobies and butts and P&I are less
damaging than people might think they are.

I don’t think we should
be showing hardcore porn

in films to kids.

I think that’s fair, but
I think the human body

just in its natural state
is not such a big deal

and I think we shouldn’t
make it a big deal.

I mean, certainly mine’s not a big deal.

I’m sad now.

Used to be a big deal.

Used to be quite an attractive young man.

Now I’m still getting over being safe.

See, I think this is another thing.

Getting over being sick, you feel weak

and that is my most vulnerable state

where I’m just like, oh,
my whole life is gone wrong.

As opposed to like, I’m getting better.

I’m like, ah, if I was
younger and stronger,

this never would have
happened in the first place.

So I’ve played all the Yakuza games.

They always have like
weird dating sims and stuff

and they always have
some of the Yakuza games

had this like telephone
thing where you call the girls

if you got friendly enough with the girl,

you would get like a
bikini rolling around video

and it was, I loved it
because it felt so wrong.

Like that was literally the reason, seeing
a girl in a bikini, that’s not enough

to do anything for
me because I have the

Internet and I have
hardcore penguin pornography

if I wanna look at it.

Everything you want is already
available to you on the Internet.

So this kind of stuff
seems actually relatively

innocent to me but I did
always enjoy getting those.

I watched one and the
thing is my wife walked

in the room while I was
watching one of those.

I would have been more embarrassed.

than if I’d been watching pornography.

Caesarea has had three incidences of frogs

turning up in their salads
between October 18th and 21st.

They have a lettuce
processing plant in kind of gawa

and they think maybe
some frogs got in there

and it just got mixed up
and then it got shipped out.

So they’ve implemented,
okay, Caesarea is shit.

There’s a lot of people who
defend it and those people are wrong.

Let’s just put that out there right now.

I’ve been to Caesarea twice.

It’s very cheap.

That’s fine, I’m not
being critical of cheap

but I ordered a thing
that was supposed to be

half chicken and half
beef and then I ate it

and I couldn’t tell which bits were
chicken and which bits would be.

And at that point I
was like, this is not food.

This is just garbage trash
that they put in front of you.

The frogs in the salad
probably would have increased

the value of the salad to
me ’cause it’d be more protein.

It would probably be more,

and at least it shows you that
the salad actually came from nature.

It wasn’t constructed in a laboratory
to be made of runoff from a river,

which is what I would actually think
Caesarea would do to keep their prices down.

So from now on,
there’s a process they’re

gonna implement which
I do not believe at all.

They’re saying they’re going
to take the head of lettuce

and then peel it back and inspect both
sides of each leaf before it’s processed,

which means the salad at
Caesarea is either going to be.

like 15,000 yen for a plate of salad
because you have to have it hand inspected

or they’re gonna do it for
like 10 minutes and then when

the inspector goes away, go
back to just doing whatever

and hope that frogs don’t get in there.

(chill music)

And now we’re onto the creepy news.

It’s very quick at this time.

Like it’s that’s very fast because
there was a lot of creepy news.

When I got sick, all day, oh, this is it.

Ninja’s Japan regularly
each week, tries to

report on some creepy
news and I put it out there.

I put the world down on check.

Old Dirty Men, ’cause it’s almost
always old dirty men, I’m watching you.

I’m the Batman of Old Dirty Men.

And I was gone last week and I was sick and
all the dirty men, all the old dirty men,

and I ain’t a man, Ninja
Ninja’s Japan isn’t on, maybe.

It’s our time to shine.

We could go out and be
dirty and not get caught well.

Tricks on you, my friend.

No, you’re gonna get arrested,
it’s actually the answer.

There was a man sitting on a motorcycle

and he rolls up and he grabs women’s
butt and he says, “How are you?”

And then he takes off.

That, I don’t know why.

To me, grabbing someone’s butt
and how are you is incagruent.

It’s not, those don’t match.

You gotta say something dirty
or sexual or don’t grab a butt.

Like if you’re old up on motors,
I only looked over at a nice lady.

They say, “Hey, nice lady, how are you?”

She might actually take
that as a compliment.

She might just keep walking,
but you haven’t committed a crime.

Maybe that’s it.

I’m always thinking of a way to be creepy

without actually breaking
the law or committing a crime.

Am I? No, that’s not true.

That sounds bad.

That’s not, let’s just erase
that little bit from history.

I’m trying to be nice
and happy and friendly.

I’m not trying to be creepy at all.

I think maybe we all
have our creepy instincts.

I’ve totally lost the thread
because I started talking

about myself instead of
focusing on the creepy dude.

‘Cause I try to equate
myself to the creepy dudes.

‘Cause what I’m actually thinking is,

if I was in a similar
situation, a monomotor cycle,

I roll up, I see a
woman, I find attractive.

What would I do?

My first instinct would
not be to grab her ass.

That’s fair.

I might say, how are you?

I might say, hey, do you wanna
take a little motorcycle ride?

I think the average person
would find that quite exciting.

I have to have a second helmet,
but worst case scenario, they say no,

and you haven’t committed
a crime, you don’t go to jail.

This has, the same complaint has
made five times since last November.

So we’re going to go ahead and assume,

which is not good
detective work, by the way.

It’s the same guy rolling up to corners,

grabbing ladies’ butts
and saying, how are you?

Because he has an MO, a modus, a parenae.

So his MO is consistent,
so we’re going to assume

it’s the same guy for
now, until we find out

there’s a gang of
high, how are you guys?

Who are going around terrorizing
women at the, I guess, red lights.

A man paid a middle school girl to
come into his car and step on him.

So technically, because of her age, she’s
like middle school, that’s kidnapping.

So not only has he done a creepy crime,

he’s taken it to a new level
because he got this high school

girl into his car, middle
school girl, into his car.

He’s now guilty of probably
sexual assault of some sort.

He wasn’t recipient, he
didn’t actually do anything

to the girl, it seems.

Again, I’m going on a very
thin bit of information right now.

So we’re going to, let’s put
up sexual assault of some sort,

solicitation at least,
but then he absolutely.

is also when kidnappings
like just a step up from that.

So that’s the kind of thing that just
like, the other stuff kind of goes away.

If you, if you’re creepy with adults,
it can actually go away pretty easily.

If you’re creepy with kids,
kidnapping, man, that doesn’t go away.

Anyways, they met on Instagram.

The girl had been introduced to stepping.

This was in quotes, my friends.

I didn’t know it was a term for this.

I assume like, hey, crush
my face with your foot.

I mean, do you need a term for that?

Step on my face.

So I guess stepping is appropriate.

I guess if you’re going
to give it a nickname,

I’d want to give it a
different nickname.

Some kind of like creepy BDSM stuff.

He paid her several
thousand yen, which actually

is not that much because a
thousand yen is like 10 bucks.

Paid her several thousand yen
to take off her shoes and socks,

step on his face, and
he could lick her foot.

So like I said, that solicitation, her
stepping on him, he’s paying for that.

So that’s a paid sex
service, licking her foot.

That would be sexual assault.

And then doing it in his car is kidnapping.

This dude is in big trouble.

He was caught and admitted
to all the charges right away.

He probably didn’t think
he was doing anything

wrong because it was
all technically consensual.

But again, kids can’t consent.

That’s something you got to remember.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

A Tokyo Happening Bar was rated.

And this was interesting, because
this comes up every now and then.

And the real question is,
what is a happening bar?

So happening is a Japanese have
adopted this English word, happening.

And they use it for a unique
event or situation or story.

So they will do like train happening,

and it’s like things that
commonly happen on trains.

A happening bar is essentially
a place where patrons

or customers can engage
in sexual acts publicly.

And I assume safely with each other, like
they’re all there, sort of, consensually.

There were 20 men and women in the bar.

And the bar was rated and
for facilitating public indecency.

So this is an interesting question.

Is it public indecency?

So if I had 20 people over to my house
and did stuff, that’s not public indecency.

If I had 20 people over to my house
and made them pay, that is illegal.

If I had 20 people, I
guess a bar being a

place of business, that
becomes a public place.

So it’s public indecency.

OK, I’m just trying to
work out how it works out.

By allowing the customers
to walk around naked

in front of others, they have
been facilitating public indecency.

The staff told the customers,
you know, fight club rules.

We don’t talk about what
happens in the happening bar.

And of course, someone did.

This bar was going on for three
years and made 137 million yen.

Yeah, you got to trust your clientele.

And that’s going to be the
first part where this breaks down.

Because there’s also the
thing, if I go to the happening bar,

and nothing happens to me, maybe after
a few times, I get a little disgruntled.

And then I decide I’m
going to shut down the bar.

If I’m not having fun, then
maybe no one else can have fun.

So you have to make
sure one of the things about

business is making sure
your customers are happy.

And if it’s your secret business,
you have to make sure your

customers are extra happy so
they don’t like rat out the secret.

Yeah, I can see that one
falling apart pretty quickly.

If I wonder how they–
I’m actually more interested.

Let’s interest in what they did.

You know, of course, you want to know

like what sex acts happened
in the happening bar.

To a degree, I don’t
need that many details.

But what I’m most interested
in is how did the police find out?

Like, they clearly weren’t advertising.

They were trying to keep it a
small tight knit group, tight knit.

Yeah, how does that get out?

I’d be interested in that
part more than anything else.

But I don’t think we’re
going to get that information.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

This is a creepy story,
final story of the day.

And it’s a slightly different
mood from the rest.

which I’m happy about.

On October 30, the woman
went out of her apartment

and she left the door open,
which is not a great idea.

She left the door unlocked.

And when she returned, her underwear.

had been washed and hung out to dry.

So we do a lot of underwear theft stories.

And I actually stopped.

I put a little sort of
like nicks on underwear

theft stories because
they were getting repetitive.

You had to do something new and different
for me to actually end up talking about it

because we’ve talked
about so many in the past.

And really it was just a case of volume.

Who if you managed
to break some kind of

record, maybe I would
mention it, but actually

stealing underwear now is no longer
a viable story for an engineer’s Japan.

Going into the someone’s
house, washing their underwear.

Now, I’m going to go
ahead and assume not dirty.

Like, he got the underwear,
washed it, and then hung it out to dry.

The culprit was caught by
someone else who lived in the

same building and then
brought to the police station.

He also lives in that building.

Brought to the police.

He admitted to the charges right away.

So my assumption, there’s
a lot of assuming going

on, but it’s because
you don’t get the details.

We don’t get to talk to these criminals.

If someone can put me into contact with some
of these criminals, I would like to have

a sincere conversation about
what do they get out of this.

So I get like the idea that
someone has been wearing

underwear that you have
that’s been in contact with

them, there is sort of
like a layer of intimacy.

And then there’s the
guys are going to be like,

“Ooh, the smell or the touch
or something or the thrill.”

Some people are in
it for the thrill of theft.

This case, it doesn’t seem like
he actually took any underwear.

So the thrill for him,
he didn’t hand wash it.

He put it in a washing machine, had to
be violating someone else’s personal space,

doing something he wasn’t supposed to do,
and in a weird way, maybe doing something.

There could be the
other side of it where he

thought, “Oh, this
lady’s left her door open,

I’ll do something nice
for her and wash her

underwear, and she’ll
be really appreciative.”

This is showing that in mentally he lives

in a completely different
world than everyone else.

But I would be very interested
in the actual sincerely dude,

what do you actually get out of this at
the end of the day and see what he says?

But we may never know.

So I guess the only
answer is for me to then.

break into someone’s house and wash,
“I’m not doing that, I’m not watching.”

Thinking of all the dangerous
risky things I did as a teenager.

and did a lot of stupid things,
but it wasn’t for creepy reasons,

it was just thrills of doing
something you’re not supposed to do,

which that’s why I
think this might be that.

I think this might be more,
he’s not as sexually creepy

as we might think because
he washed her underwear.

I think he’s just violating
her space was exciting.

More than anything else.

So don’t do that, someone leaves
the door open, you know what you do?

Just walk on by.

(upbeat music)

I’m not sick anymore,
but I got that like

post-sick lack of energy
and it’s not coming back.

I don’t know what to do.

I ate some adult fawns
thinking maybe the sugar

and fat would help.

It just made me sleepy again.

Everything seems to just
make me sleepy right now.

I bet I need to exercise, but because
I can’t use my knee for another week,

Dr. Senator on that exercise.

So.

(sighs).

It’s a baby Chewbacca.

(singing).

It’s your ass I’m offered today.

The baby Chewbacca
channel, channel, channel.

[BLANK_AUDIO].