theft – NinjaNewsJapan

We Retract This Podcast

(upbeat music)

Man stole a forklift and he
decided the best use of this

would be to crash it
into a convenience store

that was closed and
steal 100,000 yen in cash.

Now 100,000 yen, it’s
about a thousand dollars.

I mean, we’re just gonna go
with the simplest math on this.

It’s about a thousand dollars.

My dealings with criminality in doing an
international panther as long as I have,

so let me to understand
the things have value.

Forklift in itself has value.

I’m pretty sure a forklift, even a
used one, it’s worth a lot of money.

So I went to decide to look it up online.

What I found was that a used 3,000 pound
electric forklift at the low end is $9,900.

At the high end is $28,000 with
an average selling price of $17,200.

We don’t know what kind
of forklift this guy stole.

We do know he stole a forklift.

And we know that an
expensive forklift, let’s say a

15,000 pound pneumatic, the
low price for that is $43,000.

The high price is $91,000.

And the average price is $62,800.

So that tells me that after he had gone
through the effort of stealing the forklift,

it would have been more
financially viable for him

to resell the forklift as
opposed to smashed into

a convenience store and
get only $1,000 in cash.

And that $1,000 in cash
is what led to the arrest.

So I bet he could have
stolen, sold that forklift

and then skipped
town, that pin’s got free.

Keep in mind though, some of the listings

we took above number to
not include paint in the price.

So if you need to paint your
forklift, that’s gonna cost more.

So maybe he’s gonna steal the forklift,

give it a fresh coat of
paint so it looks different.

Sell that forklift.

You can charge extra for that.

I mean, that’s the benefit of
having a paint job on your forklift.

You can actually up that price a little
bit and maybe get more of the high end

and less than the low end,
you know what I’m saying?

All I’m saying is, as
soon as I read the story

about a man crashing a forklift
into a store to steal $1,000, I was like,

I bet the forklift he was sitting
on was worth more than $1,000.

Oh my God, put some thought into it.

That’s all I’m saying.

The Tokyo Metro Police have
filed charges against a student

who took an engineering
exam for a university.

Now what did he do?

That’s a very good question you ask.

That’s probably why you’re here.

He was wearing smart glasses and
sending pictures of the exam to X.com.

And here’s the thing, okay.

It turns out he had his
smartphone in his pocket.

So he was sending pictures to the internet,

trying to get people to
answer those questions for him.

And then when they sent
the answers to the responses,

he would check the
smartphone in his pocket.

That is partially how he got caught.

There’s actually an interesting thing here.

So I read multiple stories again,
trying to get my sources straight.

There are actually two
versions of how he got caught.

But I want to actually
get to the main point.

This was an engineering exam.

He had smart glasses on.

He was using the smart glasses to take
pictures of the exam to send to the internet.

My theory is, if he had built
the smart glasses himself,

so they had a camera
in it where fully functional

took pictures and sent the
pictures to the internet successfully,

that should be enough to
pass the engineering exam.

I actually think that would
be enough engineering,

a practical exam, let’s
say, and he should pass.

And then my second thought was, why
don’t they make that the engineering exam?

Like you have to take the exam,
so you can take the exam as it is

and do it the way the
traditional way in filling the exam

answer the questions, you
know all that boring stuff.

Or if you can engineer a way to cheat

and that engineering
is well constructed

enough, then you pass
the exam automatically.

I think the failure point
here is that he got caught.

And it seems like he got
caught using a smartphone,

not actually the sunglasses he was
wearing that had the camera in them.

But my feeling is if he’s a good enough
engineer to make glasses that take pictures

of some of the internet, that he’s already
passed the exam, he doesn’t need the exam.

And so we need to look at
different ways to do exams.

Now, different people
have different skills.

There’s different kinds of intelligence.

This is something I’ve
always proposed and believed.

Ever since I first learned about it, I said
there are different kinds of intelligence

and different people are
smart in different ways.

And maybe he isn’t a paper smart
guy, but he is a mechanically smart guy.

Maybe he’s not.

Maybe he’s just bought smart glasses
and used them to try to cheat in that,

in which case he’s getting
exactly what he deserved.

So the way he got caught
is that someone responded

to his questions online and
then notified the university.

He was well, say to university one of
the most famous universities in Japan.

The school called the police when officials
noticed the camera in his glasses.

So there are two, not
contradictory stories,

but I think it might be two people
claiming that they caught the guy cheating.

I think the person who
found the questions online,

and that was answering
the questions and then

realized, this is from
an exam and an exam

that might be happening right
now and contacted the university.

That seems more reasonable.

They probably contacted the
university, told one of the officials,

the officials went and found the guy
with the glasses, and then he’s like,

but here’s a chance for
me to take credit and he did.

In which case, that guy’s cheating,
and that guy should get in trouble too.

And so I was actually thinking
of it as which is more likely.

It’s actually, if he was got into the exam

with the glasses on, started
taking the exam with the glasses on,

I actually think the camera must have been
subtle enough that he wouldn’t notice it.

You’d be more likely to notice the
smartphone in his pocket him pulling out,

’cause he has to check it for the answers,
in which case that’s when you would notice.

So someone noticing
the camera in his glasses,

it would have made more sense if they found
that early exam, not later in the exam.

So to me, story wise, it makes
more sense if it was the person online,

realized this person
was using the internet

to cheat, and then
contacted the university.

The Foreign Minister of Japan is a
woman, and we have a little quiz today.

So last week, I sort of
felt out the theory of maybe

we could do some quizzes,
maybe some fun stuff.

This week, I decided to try to employ that.

So I got a good friend
of mine, Mr. Warm Hands.

He’s going to join us in the podcast

and take the Foreign
Minister’s quiz with us today.

I have to make some kind
of like fireworks or something.

Phew, phew, phew, phew,
phew, phew, phew, phew, phew,

the Ninja New Japan, Ninja
New Japan, Ninja New Japan.

Quiz, something like that.

I’m not gonna make
any of that ’cause I don’t

have time ’cause I have
to do all this in one day.

Should I introduce you, does anyone care?

You’re just another voice in the world.

Yeah, I mean, you can
do it on the actual podcast.
Okay, yes.
Right now.
So the female Foreign
Minister of Japan said,

this is three options,
so it’s multiple choice.

Okay.
The female Foreign
Minister of Japan said,

A, foreigners are diluting
the purity of Japan.

B, women are only women if they give birth,

or C, equal pay for women
will damage the equality.

Ah, sure.
Equal pay for women
will damage the economy.
Oh.
So we can have a little
chatter if you want clues.

I’ll try to–

All three of them are pretty viable.
That’s the problem.

I think I’ve actually done enough news

that I now my quiz questions are gonna
be super hard ’cause they’re all possible.

Equal pay for women
will damage the economy.

Women are not women unless they give birth.

And foreigners are
diluting the purity of Japan.
Ah, and this is the minister for–
The Foreign Minister.
The Foreign Minister for Japan.
The female Foreign
Minister, she is a woman.
It is a woman.
It’s a, oh god, that
doesn’t really help much.
It actually doesn’t.

She is old.

That actually I think is why
these statements came out.

It’s always the same thing.

It’s this old form thinking
that I’m always going on about.

If it was a man, everyone in
statement might be more likely.
I think B would be
more likely if it was a man.
Women are only women
if they give birth, okay?
Yeah, but I’m not ruling it out.

‘Cause I know a lot of old women
who are like very gender roles.

It’s not, it’s not even a Japanese thing.

It’s just like you have to give birth.

You have to give birth and
you have to maintain a house

and you have to manage the boss
and it’s so much of that and it’s crazy.

That tread wife.
I actually was watching a video.

It was one of these
trad wives who’s like

head quit and she’s
like, I regret it so much.

It’s so horrible.

Well, but even my wife’s mother
gives her shit because I do stuff.

They say, well, this so ass backwards.

Yeah.
She’s like, your husband’s doing stuff.

I can’t believe you’d let that happen.

(laughing)

‘Cause my father-in-law, he’s old.

He saw me just get up
and wash some dishes once.

He was like, whoa, you can do that.

And I was like, I didn’t say anything,
but I think his attitude changed.

She’s like, oh, actually,
maybe I could do stuff.

‘Cause I made dinner
and I cook and I cleaned.

So on the days I cook, I actually
like, my wife won’t wash that.

I don’t want, she doesn’t wash the dishes.

I do everything.

So it’s like, she has at
least one day with nothing.

But okay, you have to make your choice.

A, foreigners are
diluting the purity of

Japan or unless you
wanna ask some questions.

B, women are only
gonna take a birth or a C,

equal pay for women
will damage the economy.

So B seems the most
misogynistic view about his coming

from a woman, which
is, I feel like it’s that one.

All right, it is correct.
Oh, that’s what I think,
ding, ding, ding, ding, ding sound.
She said, women are
only women if they give birth.
Jesus Christ.
Her actual statement was, how can we
call ourselves women without giving birth?
So the next day, you know she
got in trouble for this, the next day.
Oh, of course she did.
Again, three choices, A,
she gave us sincere apology.

B, she said her statement
didn’t convey the

correct meaning or C,
I retract my statement.

You know that’s my favorite one.

When they retract statements, I’m
like, it doesn’t really retract any, right?

It’s still there.

The statement you made still exists.

So the first one was apologize.
A sincere apology.
sincere, okay, oh, well,
that’s definitely not happening.
Mm-hmm.
Okay, B, her statement didn’t
convey the correct meaning.
You guys are too dumb
to know what I meant.
Mm-hmm.
Or C, I retract my statement.
Oh, come on, right,
so, then if it was a man,

I want 100% to go with
retract because I feel

like they just like, this
might get outbound.

I can say what I want.

I can say whatever I
want in the next day, I’ll

be like, well, you know,
you guys interpret it.

I apologize for you
misinterpreting my words.

(laughs)

Yeah, I feel like like female politicians
are a special breed of like evil.
In Japan, yes.
No, not just in Japan.
I was thinking about like a
UK even, like Thatcher, like in–
Thatcher has ruined it for
every other female politician.
Yeah, I’m pretty sure there’s
some good ones out there.

But at the chance of Germany
was, she seems all right.

Yeah, she seems like reasonably
down to a– – I kind of like her.
And then the prime minister
of New Zealand, she was cool.
Yeah.
Yeah, people tried to dunk on her
for like having a party, I remember that.

Like just talking about a party.

Yeah, it’s like, and had a full month.
Shut fun.
Like AOC, I really like AOC.

In America, there’s a Katie
something and she’s awesome.

All she does is take
like business men to task.

She had the president of Pierce Moore,

like JP Morgan, some giant
investment hedge fund bank thing.

And then she was like, I found out
how much like your tellers get paid.

They don’t make enough to survive.

Can you reconcile that with me?

And he’s like, basically like, how can
you justify not paying a living wage?

And he’s like, he started
to try to talk his way out.

And he’s like, no, no, no,
this is how much she makes.

Like I talked to this woman.

How do you think that’s fair
that you get what you pay?

Yeah, you get your pay.

Yeah.
I see your pace out of hand.
Yeah.
Oh, come on.

I think I’ve found my niche now though,

is coming up with quiz
questions based on the news.

Okay, this is here apology.

You guys are idiots.

Oh, attraction.

Retraction.

I’m just gonna take it
back and think it privately.

Oh, come on.
Oh, I’m gonna see.

She retracted it.

She retracted her statement.

Both B and C.

She actually, she did all three,
but it was not a sincere apology.

She A, apologized.

B, said that her
statement didn’t convey the

correct meaning and C,
retracted her statement.

So she went, I’m really sorry.

You guys too stupid to
understand my reaction.

Well, I do say so, I take it back.
So maybe if I say I didn’t say it, you
guys will believe it ’cause you’re so dumb.

(laughing)

She said her comment was meant to emphasize

the power of women and
she meant that she was born

into the house of
representatives in a year

2000 by the power of
women voting for her.

And I was like, that is not
how that phrase has ever,

No, it would never convey
that meaning, bit ridiculous.

They think they come up with some
profound saying, some profound soundbite.

And then everyone’s like, what?

I think they take 10 seconds and
think about her trying to backtrack this.

It’s like that doesn’t even make sense.

That makes less sense
than your original statement.

That’s what you’ve said.
Oh dear, good.
And that’s the first
news news panic was, yeah.
Yeah, I think it’s so
trackers all the way away.
Quiz, quiz, quiz, quiz, quiz, quiz, quiz.
I need, I need.
Ninja, Ninja, Ninja, Ninja, Japan, the quiz.

(laughing) – So as you heard in the
quiz, she did not necessarily apologize.

Her statement was how can we call
ourselves women without giving birth?

She then said on the next day,
when she was doing her apology,

I accept the possibility
that my words could be

misunderstood and have
decided to retract the statement.

That is one of the most
annoying political statements.

‘Cause again, my problem with retracting
statements is they don’t make them go away.

It actually just means
I said a shitty thing

and now I want you to
forget, I said a shitty thing.

I’m not actually going to
change my behavior or anything.

I’m not gonna try to improve myself.

I’m not gonna think about what I did.

I’m just gonna say,
sorry you were offended.

Please forget the thing I said.

She then went on to say her comment
was meant to emphasize the power of women.

So how can we call
ourselves women without giving

birth was meant to
emphasize the power of women?

Now I studied English literature, I
have an English literature degree.

Now I don’t consider
myself particularly adept

at interpreting the
language, I can do it.

I don’t think of the statement she made,

how can we call ourselves
women without giving birth?

I don’t see how that relates to
emphasizing the power of women.

And I think that might be
where the words she used

could be misunderstood
’cause I think the words

she used don’t mean the
things she says they mean.

She said, she went on to say,

she meant that she was born
into the house of representatives

in the year 2000 by the
power of women voting for her.

Which is not anywhere
implied in the statement,

how can we call ourselves
women without giving birth?

This is a classic example of a
politician saying something dumb

and then trying to recreate
a narrative around it,

trying to remold that sentence
that everyone understood

into some other meaning so that
they hopefully can get away with it.

A bill has been introduced to Parliament.

And the roughest way of
saying it is that it’s designed

to take away permanent residents
from people who live in Japan

if they have intentionally failed to
pay taxes or social insurance premiums.

This has been a problem in the past

where people who live in Japan
don’t pay their taxes and stuff.

I think it’s a problem in every country.

They’re claiming it’s
only for malicious cases.

Now this is one of the problems.

This was the TikTok ban.

My problem with the TikTok
ban wasn’t banning TikTok.

It was how could that
legislation be interpreted later

to ban other companies that
are essentially not American.

This goes way back to
my experience as a young

man when they
introduced the Patriot Act.

And it was supposed
to be just for terrorists.

And it’s just gonna be
for catching terrorists.

And then they expanded
the definition of terrorists

they could redefine a
criminal as a terrorist

and then use the Patriot Act to
do whatever they want to them.

And this is one of the problems
with legislation that’s vague.

And they are saying that the
problem with this legislation

in Japan about permanent
residency is very vague.

Kishida said the plan
would not affect the

vast majority of former
permanent residents.

But it was based on inconclusive data

that shows 10% of permanent
residents don’t pay taxes.

Now this survey was done of 1,825 people

where there are 890,000
permanent residents in Japan.

So they’ve taken a small sample size,

taken that sample size
and extracted a piece of

information then
extrapolated that information

to the totality of the population
that they’re talking about.

And that’s what a lot of
people are saying is problematic.

So then they didn’t actually explain
how much of that 10% of the 1,825 people,

how much of them would be this
sort of like, let’s kick them out group.

How many people would
fail the stringent requirements

of malicious refusal to pay
their taxes or social insurance?

And then another politician piped up with,

and this is a statement
I really enjoyed was,

there are more unpaid taxes by Japanese
people than there are by foreigners,

which is a very interesting
way of looking at it.

He’s like, why are we going after
these foreign permanent residents

when we have so many Japanese
people that we could be going after?

These bridge people who are hiding money.

‘Cause that is actually a story we’ve
done and introduced Japan in the past.

We have rich people who
are refusing to pay their tax,

who hide their money, who put their
money in other countries, things like that.

And they don’t pay their taxes fairly,
whereas a majority of the permanent residents

pay their taxes, just because they’re not
here, because they’re super rich people,

they’re here ’cause they have
normal jobs and a lot of normal jobs.

Your company actually
pays taxes through your

company for you, so it’s
actually very hard to cheat.

All right, so last story of the day.

It’s usually a dirty, dirty man, but I have
a dirty, dirty couple, which is exciting.

An engaged couple, and this
is actually just kind of show

that they’ve been together
for a while, I think that’s

why they specifically put
an engaged couple in there.

An engaged couple have
been arrested for posting

unedited as in, I believe, uncensored,
explicit videos on social media.

So basically you have a
couple, and they’re doing it,

and they’re videoing it, and
they’re putting it on social media.

It’s paid, it’s like behind a pay while.

I’m thinking they’re talking
about Patreon or one of

these other, like, fansly or
some of these other sites.

The bid I was most interested
in is how much money

can you make, boinking
your partner, filming it,

and putting it on the
internet, because… (mumbling)

They earned 100 million yen through
subscriptions based on social media sites.

So again, they’re keeping it vague.

I want to know which social media sites,

and I want to know what
this couple looked like.

The first thing I did
was go look for a picture

of the couple to see if
they were attractive or not,

which is kind of gross on my part, but it
was, I think, a very natural kind of thing.

They’ve been doing this for two and a half
years, and they have made 95 million yen.

And that makes me think
that maybe I’ve made some

bad choices in my career
options, ’cause here I am.

I work a 40 hour work week.

I make podcasts for fun, and
I do not have anywhere near

95 million yen for just filming
myself and putting it on the internet.

And I realized, you know,
I got some gnarly feet.

I could maybe put something on
Wikipedia, maybe get some money that way.

I don’t think people
would actually want to pay

very much for this,
but that’s one of the

secondary reasons I
wanted to see this couple.

I was like, if I could
measure their attractiveness,

if I matched that
attractiveness level,

maybe I could make 95 million
yen over two and a half years.

The problem is they were
making unedited videos,

so in Japan, you do have
to censor the private parts.

They have mosaics is the most common way.

So they weren’t doing that, and that’s
probably how they were making their money.

So either I would have to put the mosaic
on, and I’d probably put it on my face,

’cause I think you would actually
rather see not my face than anything else,

or I’d have to change
countries before making this new

endeavor, which is going to be NJ,
which is new to Ninja News, Japan,

where I sit here and
do the news in the nude.

So I guess we could just
get a flesh colored t-shirt,

and that would actually be giving you
pretty much the whole effect right there.

Sprinkle some hairs on it randomly.

That’s pretty much the
aesthetic I’d be going for.

So if you, the viewer or
listener, would be interested,

and again, this is an
audio format primarily.

It seems like it would
make no difference to

you, but maybe if you
paid that extra money

and you get the nude version of Ninja
News, Japan, nude Ninja News, Japan, and J.

Maybe just the knowledge
that I’m reading the news

to you naked would
enhance the experience for

you, and there’s only
one way to find out.

That would be to go to our new Patreon, the
new Ninja News, Japan dot slash Patreon,

I don’t know, I don’t actually have
a Patreon, don’t actually go there.

You can go there,
you’re just not gonna find

a new Ninja News, Japan
site, which is too bad.

But if you wanna send me some money,
I will do a private recording, naked,

and I will send it to you,
and it’ll be audio only,

but I promise you, I’ll be
naked, how about that?

(upbeat music)

[BLANK_AUDIO]

Please Citizens Arrest me

All right me and Dave rockin’ the news.

Not a the

Citizens arrest YouTuber who we
talked about last week was rearrested.

How do you get
re-arrested in a single week?

Like how do you get arrested for?

Citizens arresting people
and then like the next week

I guess like he was
arrested and released.

I don’t know if he’s actually
gone a trial or anything’s happened

But then the next week you
go out and you’re like, well.

this time I’ll do it right and.

Okay, anyways here the
story and it’s even dumber than

the last one the last one. He
basically accused a woman of

Schelping tickets

So this time there is a man in his 50s.

who’s waiting for a
friend at a train station.

He is then pushed to the ground
and surrounded by a group of people

Who claimed he was trying to escape
the police because he was a drug addict.

So they did the YouTuber
did a Citizens arrest.

He was restrained a man, which is I guess
has not kidnapping. It’s assault for sure

They pushed him to the ground.
So that’s assault like restraining

people against their will
has to be a crime in itself.

So I’m really torn on that like
what crime is that it’s not I guess.

It’s a kind of kidnapping.
I guess kidnapping.

Maybe you have
to take away people.

Because there was the thing he
talked about last week kidnapping

if you’re in like in a company in
the company like locks the doors

What refuse won’t let you
leave because you refuse to find a

If a company we’ve read about black
companies and you have to sign a form

And they won’t let you leave the room until
you sign the form if you call the police

They’ve actually kidnapped you because you’re
not allowed to leave So I guess this is

Under the same law. So if one
of them’s kidnapping this has to

be kidnapping as well. Anyways, the
Citizens arrest YouTuber With friends

Surrounded a completely
innocent man in his 50s who was

waiting for a friend
pushed him to the ground

surrounded That’s got
to be terrifying in itself.

He has no drug connections

And the dude was arrested again.
So I don’t know.

Like he’s not very good
at Citizens arresting first

of all like there’s one
thing like I want to make.

My name is a vigilante.

I need to

Vigilante properly. I need to I
need to vigilant the right tease.

I need to

Be vigilant about
who I Vigilante’s.

Try to make up new words Riz was

Quoted as being the
word of the year for I think

the Miriam Webster
dictionary or something.

But if you’re gonna do
Citizens arrest you got to like.

So to me I’ve confused
because to me this is a failure on

multiple points. He wants
to be a Citizens arrest guy.

But once everyone finds out you are not

Arresting people who’ve committed crimes.

You failed on that point

So maybe they would just come to your
channel to see you arrest the wrong people.

Like maybe that’s what
they would come for that

would be the entertainment
of that part like.

Who’s he going to falsely citizens
arrest today and then he gets in trouble?

The police have to do something
about this like this is actually

a case where it’s like he’s
obviously just going to keep going.

Until he goes too far
someone gets hurt.

I guess in a weird way if you
hurt someone and they sue him.

That actually might be the better
outcome like not that the guy gets hurt,

but then being able to sue someone
and take all his money would actually be.

The Russian embassy so
Japan and Russia, you know,

they’re having a contentious
time right now because.

Japan does not support
Russia and its efforts Russia

has pushed back on that
there has been some contention.

Because of islands north of
Japan that are still in dispute.

Russia and Japan right now do not have
the greatest relations in their embassies.

Turns out Russian embassies have
been refusing to pay their parking fines

The embassy this is actually the bid.
I liked.

The embassy claims to be making efforts.

But just just can’t find
a way to pay the fines

like we’re trying
we’re trying really hard

Just can’t we can’t figure out how to pay
the fine. I don’t know. I every time I go

I forget my wallet or I
forget the the forearms.

Oh, I don’t know what happened,
but then you find out Russia had.

59% of diplomatic parking
fines in 2022 so it’s almost like.

They’re going out of the way
the 41% of the other diplomatic

parking fines is the entirety
of all the embassies in Japan.

So Russia is doing essentially
60% of the parking fines that is.

338 cases so if you want
to do the math add another

40% of that you have all
the diplomatic parking fines

For the country in 2022.

But 60% so that’s like they’re trying like
you have two options you can park here.

Where you can park over
there illegally and then the

Russian guys are like park
illegally. Let’s get a ticket

Let’s get a ticket so we don’t
have to pay it just to cause

Japanese police a
little more trouble.

It’s a Diplomatic immunity diplomatic
community diplomatic community has always

been kind of a weird thing to
me. I’ve never really understood it.

I can commit a crime in your
country, but because I’m a diplomat.

I don’t get in trouble for it.

I mean, why would you show
respect to a country that you’re angry

at right now? That’s that’s
actually just the way it goes, I guess.

A 41-year-old company executive went to the
Japan Airlines diamond Premier lounge now

I can tell you as a normal
human being I’ve never

been in anything that is
diamond and or premier

But to combine the two
the diamond Premier lounge.

That’s just got to be the
best lounge in the world ever.

So while people were there
and they’re eating and taking naps

because they’re rich fancy people
and they do whatever they want.

This company executive so
he’s a company executive so it

the fact okay There’s a couple
things that that struck me

Company executives get paid more than me.
I get paid normal people money.

Company executives
get paid more than that.

So he’s got more than
normal people money already.

He’s going into the diamond premier
lounge which means he probably makes more

Than even rich people
money like he’s getting

into the exclusive
bits of the airport.

Not a place I would care about.
I don’t know. I bet if I went in there.

I’d be very happy about it. Actually,
no fancy places make me uncomfortable.

I’ve gone to fancy bars a
few times and I always was

like I don’t belong here,
and I don’t like it and the the

excessive staff attention
is very off-putting to me

I like going to bars and
Issacias in Japan where

they’re like hey you near
they can I’m like not buddy

We’re good and then they just like
walk off and you’re like that’s right

I’ll call you if I need you and
then you go away and then

they come over and they’re
like you need something

like yeah I do and
then they give it to you.

So I’m that class of person the
Excessive attention puts me off.

So this guy’s in this
diamond premier lounge.

And he decides it would be a great idea.

To steal a wallet worth 190,000
yen that had 300,000 yen in it.

So there’s there’s actually again
another sort of the level difference.

The wallet was worth 190,000 yen.

The average Japanese salary I
say this regularly because it keeps all

these big numbers because you
use Japanese yen in all these stories.

A lot of these big numbers are going to mean
anything to the average listener because

they’re in their country with their currency
and then the relationship doesn’t make sense.

The average person makes
four million to five million.

So let’s say four point five million yen
a year in Japan. That’s average salary.

So your monthly salary.

300 to 450,000 yen a month.
So someone’s spending a hundred

and ninety thousand yen that is
probably about half the average

salary for a month or
like two-week salary for

a normal person in
Japan and then that had.

300,000 yen in it in cash.

I Would probably carry.

20,000 yen

Maximum normally because that’s
going to be enough to like if I need food

I can get food if I need
a taxi or an emergency

That would be enough to get
me most places like I could get on

the shink on the center for
20,000 yen and get to another city.

With 20,000 yen

I don’t really need to
carry more than that like

I don’t normally I carry
like a few thousand yen

But like if I just gone to the
bank and I just like topped up.

Probably 20,000 yen

He admitted to the allegations

So he’s actually said
yes, I did it was another

side point in the story
He’s been accused of

Stealing 300,000 yen and a
hundred and a thousand yen wallet.

But then he admitted to it
and they still just say suspicion

and accused of because he
hasn’t actually gone to court

He hasn’t hasn’t he hasn’t
actually been convicted.

So it’s still not necessarily true. Which
is a very interesting little side note

If you read carefully, you can see
like the people who write these stories.

They’re very careful
about their language

because you don’t want
to make false accusations

I kind of appreciated that
on the on the writers part

I should actually put a little more effort
into figuring out who actually wrote it.

Give them credit is what I mean
he admitted to the allegations

and he said the reason he
did it was stress from work.

Now if this my all jobs
are stressful basically.

But if my job included the
ability to go to the diamond

premier lounge to decompress
every now and then.

I don’t know maybe maybe again,
maybe the stresses he feels are so high

and then the the diamond premier
lounge isn’t enough of a decompression.

I’m not trying to give
him too much sympathy

I’m just trying to imagine
what it’s like to have more

money than I’ve probably
ever had and then be like

My life is stressful.
I’m gonna steal money.

To make myself feel
good to relieve that stress

to have a little excitement
to feel alive again.

No, I’m sorry.

He should just ease
off work or I bet at 41.

Making enough money to get
into the diamond premier lounge.

I bet he could retire to again if
he was willing to live a normal life

This might be the bit that I always miss
because I was like oh if I get rich enough.

I will live the exact same life.
I live now.

And stop working as in these guys
are like no, I always need more and

more and more and more so I guess
that’s where stealing more money.

would feel good.

I wouldn’t feel good about stealing money

But I wouldn’t feel particularly
terrible about stealing

from rich people. It’s kind of a
Robinhood syndrome of being.

Again just sort of average normal person
who lives in the world. What I feel bad

I’d feel bad. I would feel really
bad about stealing from poor people.

I’d feel bad about stealing
from normal people.

I think I would feel less bad.
Maybe I would still feel some guilt

I would feel less bad about
stealing from rich people.

That’s not even to say they
don’t deserve their money.

Maybe they worked
really hard. I don’t know.

I think there is a base
assumption that most

rich people don’t deserve
the money they got.

This is his second charge

His first was stealing a credit card
from the diamond premier lounge.

So this is the second
time not only has he been

stealing it’s the second
time he’s been caught.

Kind of goes with this citizens arrest
youtuber from the previous story.

If you get caught doing it.

You have to change up what you’re doing so
you don’t get good or maybe you don’t care

Maybe you want to get caught. Maybe
this is one of those like serial killer

Please stop me from killing kind of things.
I can’t help my motivation.

Yeah, being of sound mind. I think.

If I was caught doing something and
I still wanted the benefit of that thing

I’d be like why I have to
change my methodology.

I wouldn’t go back to the
same place commit the

exact same crime and
expect to get away with it.

Because I got caught the first time

I’m gonna get caught the second
time if I don’t change my methodology.

So yeah, you got to you got to mix it
up I had an interesting discussion sort of.

Because I was thinking about like I.

Don’t know how to launder money

So the problem is let’s say I
found a suitcase full of money.

A yakuza group had thrown it out of window
because that’s actually happened in Sapporo

They actually like found a
garbage bag just full of cash.

And then they were gonna
burn it and then they had to turn

it into the police like we
don’t know what to do with this.

But let’s say the money
needs to be laundered

I can’t just like take money out
and use it. I was trying to figure

out like how would I be able to
spend that money and not get caught.

And there’s no way you
can do it without them

being able to pinpoint
you in modern society

I’d have to find some alternative
because if I spend money

Let’s just take it. I take
10,000 yen out of the time,

which is sort of a very
standard bill to use in Japan.

I go to convenience stores
and I break my 10,000 yen bill.

They would have video footage
of me spending the money

So they could just go oh,
we found one of the bills

Let’s go through all the
video of that day and just

sort of catalog all the people
who spent money that day

They might even have like a time frame
because the when that till was being used.

They

If I went to a different store every time

They then could be like well, it
showed up here. It showed up here

Hey, guess what this big stupid
white guy showed up at all these places

So I’m like I can’t do that.
I could give it to my friends

Was my second thought
like I’ll give my friends all

10,000 yen in exchange for
like break 10,000 yen for me

And they all spent it in different places

But then it’s all still connected.
Oh wow, all these people

seem to work at the same
company the source of the funds

Must be coming from
within this company.

They’re like all the
best way I could do it.

Which is some people say the reason Bitcoin
was invented. They do have Bitcoin ATMs now

It’s still going to take a picture
of you because it’s an ATM.

But I could wear a nondescript
hat wear sunglasses wear a mask

And then the first thing
you do as soon as you

walk away from that ATM
is you get rid of that mask

Get rid of those sunglasses get
rid of that had you to you burn them

or throw them a river or something
that once it goes to a wallet.

Is not as traceable.
They can trace it, but.

Yeah, it’s really hard for a normal
person to launder money. That’s actually

something I thought about so I’m trying to
figure out the best way to launder money.

I haven’t found a big
bag of money, so I don’t

really see this sort of a
waste of my mental energy

But it’s it’s these sort of
exercises I put myself through

should the day arrive when
I have to commit a crime

If you followed Ninja
Ninja Japan for any amount

of time you can tell I
think a lot about how to

Effectively commit crimes and not get
caught. I think about how to do things

Criminal activities the best
I can and I guess should the

opportunity come up if I’m gonna
do it. I don’t want to get caught.

Ninja News Japan is
basically spawned because

of my fascination
with committing crimes.

I haven’t commit haven’t should I
admit what crimes I have committed.

I certainly jaywalk like every day.
I’ve jaywalked in front of the police

They didn’t seem to mind

In Japan what crimes have I
committed done some speeding.

I’ve done you know
the normal ones.

the

Punishments in Japan can be quite severe,
but having done this podcast long enough

I know if I just keep my mouth shut long
enough. I’ll probably just get sent away.

Probably lose my job in the process, but.

I probably could get myself
myself out of prison. I think.

Do I have the mental
fortitude? Johnny Somali

seems to have done it
and that guy’s a moron, so

Next story next story. I
should I should let all my

thoughts wind down before
I do the transition music a

25-year-old police
female police officer was

arrested for involvement
in a romance fraud

It’s only interesting because the
female police officer was posing as a man.

And so this was all online

So not a hard thing to do,
but I was like oh like what would

be the benefit because you
think women could like we had.

Sugar baby beauty chan was the
story for the last few months on.

Just used to pan fascinating how
she was ripping off dudes and making

tons of money with it and then
giving it all to host fucking ridiculous

but.

My thinking was she could
probably like scam men.

More effectively, but I bet she
didn’t want to use her face or anything

So this is why she was
in person but then I was

like ah a female would
better know the female mind.

She could better romance
another female because you know

men like myself were awkward
and clumsy and we smell bad

She probably asked to do a
better job at the romance scam

than I could because I would
never say the right things

I would never be a good host.
Let’s put it that way

So at first she was
impersonating a male Canadian

doctor and talking to her
victim who was in their 50s.

So I’m assuming pretending
to be an older doctor.

I guess doctors tend to be
quite established so an older dude

And he’s talking to an older woman
so age appropriate. That’s quite nice.

And he says I am taking
care of patients in Yemen.

My mother has been hospitalized

Airfare is 200,000 yen which I will repay
to you immediately so he’s trying to get.

The victim to send 200,000 yen so
that they can buy an airplane ticket.

Now my first thought is why can
a doctor one of the better paid.

Professions not be able to
afford 200,000 yen. Why couldn’t a

doctor go to one of his doctor
friends who also would have money

And asked them for
200,000 yen 200,000 yen

being honestly in this
case not very much money

Like if we’re talking
about like air fairs that

are last minute the last
time I went to Canada.

It was a quarter million yen or
something for me and my family to go.

Like it was ridiculous.

But it was again, we didn’t go
short notice, but it was not quick.

And so we weren’t even
paying like the premium price.

We certainly weren’t getting into the
diamond premiere lounge with our tickets.

And we were paying way more money than that

So also had posed as a mail
model requesting money for

shipping costs to send the
prize money for winning a contest

So this is a pretty common scam
where it’s like we’re going to give you.

20 million dollars.

What you have to do is send
us a few thousand dollars.

As a deposit or insurance
or something like that

And then you send the two
three thousand dollars whatever the

minimal fee to get your $20 million
which seems nothing in comparison

I spend $2,000 bucks.
I get $20 million. You get the money

For just this initial investment.
It’s a really good deal. So that’s.

Lotteries will never ask you to send
money because they have all the money.

They like they’ll we’ll just take
the $2,000 out of your $20 million.

Winnings and send it to you and we’ll
ensure and stuff makes a lot more sense.

Being a mail model. I’m sure
again. There was a certain amount

of like let’s cloud our victims
mind with lust kind of feeling.

Also trying to be very charming.

It was just again. It’s a it’s a cop a cop
committing these fraud crimes a clap who

Knows how easily it is to get
caught who knows sort of the

system getting caught makes
me feel they’re not a very good cop

And not a very good criminal and if a
citizen’s arrest YouTuber had arrested her.

Celebrations all around.

Four hosts. It’s actually thematically
lately things have been lining up

So it’s talking about really each on and
she spent all her money on hosts and then

I was talking about hosts and then the
government started like cracking down a host

And now I’m getting much of host
stories four hosts were arrested.

for illegal

Touting during the day so what they do in
Japan. It’s called touting. It’s basically.

I’ll stand close to my

Restaurant or bar or whatever
and I’ll have some of my staff.

Out on the street and they’ll be like hey

Do you want to come to a bar?

I’ll take you to a bar
and I don’t know if they

get extra money for everyone
not but you know more

Customers means more money all around for
the restaurant. Maybe you get paid better.

Aggressive touting is illegal in certain
prefecture, so it’s not everywhere.

But if these dudes on the
street are like harassing you.

problematically they.

Can get in trouble now is something you
need to be able to prove and you will see

these whole four hosts must
have been doing a really really.

Aggressive hustling for street business.

Because they were
trying to get them to the

morning host session,
which is inconceivable to me.

hosting

My image is you come around eight
nine ten o’clock would be the earliest.

So probably the party
starts around midnight.

They party till three
four five in the morning

They’re drinking they’re having a
good time and then you roll home. Okay.

Apparently there is a morning host session
between nine and ten in the morning.

So I was like are these

The remainders of the host the
host who’ve been drinking all night

Do you get to have a really
gross stinky breakfast with them

are they recovering from
their night of drinking are they

The morning crew is there like a
specific morning crew because like I?

Very very sadly. I would
not want to stay up till five

A.M. in the morning drinking
especially every night.

I would much much rather
prefer to have the ten o’clock.

morning hosting Shift

Which I’m sure is not the
most profitable one, but that

means you’re probably in my
mind getting a lower tier of host

So like the whole point is
there’s a certain glamour

a certain attractiveness to the
hosting lifestyle You go there.

They charm you.
They romance you.

It’s a weird breakfast thing

I just those don’t connect
to me hosting and breakfast.

Morning time like to me. That’s when
they be getting off working going to sleep

for sure and are they drinking? Are
you starting drinking? I’m not judging I

Not recently last couple years.
What I actually found was.

I much prefer to drink at
lunchtime and sober up by dinner

then drink at dinner time and
try to go to bed while a little.

Loose I found drinking at lunch a
much more preferable experience

So a couple hours earlier 10 o’clock. I’m
not going to get too judgmental about that.

It’s just again, it seems
like if you have people

walking on the street at
10 o’clock in the morning.

Going hey, do you want
to start drinking now?

Seems like it wouldn’t work
out to me. This just doesn’t

seem like a good plan. It
doesn’t seem like it matches.

the

Romantic life the romance
of the whole host thing.

To me, but I guess if they
were going to be successful

They would have to be
very aggressive to get people

into their host club at
10 o’clock in the morning

Which is why the police were
notified of them, which is how they

got arrested these four guys
and again citizens arrest youtuber.

Wrong place wrong time.
You could have been there

arresting hosts and actually
doing some good for society

But no, you just pushed
down a 50 year old man who

was waiting for his friend
because you’re dumbass.

I had to mention that this
apparently is a restaurant

that’s been around in the
goya, which is the city I work in.

since 2012

This has been around for 10 years.

It’s a nugoya restaurant
called shachujoia.

It includes slaps from
the staff for 300 n each.

And so I watched a video of like.

this Restaurant they are not
holding back. They are legit

Slapping you as
hard as they can.

It’s girls But that doesn’t
mean girls don’t hit hard

Slap across face slap
across the face Then.

They’ll hit you a bunch of times.
So if you.

There was one video
and the girl hit him like.

Like six seven eight
times times 300 yen each.

It’s that’s not one slap. That is
300 yen per impact to the face

I’m torn as to whether
or not I want to go to

this because a it would
be an amusing video

But be if someone slaps me in
the face, I might not take it very well

I’m not the kind of guy who’s
used to getting slapped around

And just sitting there, but of
course then it’s also like a little girl

So I’m not going
to hit her back.

Am I? Citizens of the youtuber citizens of
rest youtuber might want to be ready for the

Frakis that ensues should
I end up in that restaurant?

Normally we end off an engineer’s
Japan with a creepy creepy story and.

I’m it’s a tradition. I’m
happy to uphold but the

creepy creepy story has to
have something interesting

And I found something more interesting
and it’s a shitty shitty racism.

Yamato Gokoro is a

Company that sells stuff
online like clothes and stuff.

The leader of the group is Yoshiyaki
Yoshida and he’s also the founder of DHC

And he’s dipping his big
toe back into the racism pool

So back when he ran DHC.

He posted comments.
Let me get the right ones.

No, okay So I didn’t write down. I only
wrote down the most recent comments

So we’ll just do it. Let’s do it in
order and then refer back to DHC later.

So kind of reorganizing
my story on the fly.

On the Yamato Gokoro.

Website he posted
that Yamato Gokoro is

apparently the only major
general online retailer

whose head is pure Japanese now pure Japanese
In Japan is a pretty racist statement.

Because what you’re saying is
anyone who isn’t pure Japanese

They suffer from faults. There’s a lot
of like pure Japanese people don’t steal

They have more integrity.
They and this is like

really really right-wing stuff
naming a competing CEO.

He said based on the features of his face.

He is often suspected of being zainichi

But steadfastly denies this.
So judge for yourself

So they’re doing uh, well
again, what a lot of races do.

They’re saying
like facial features

You can actually like see
someone’s genetic history in it

And you can see if their pure Japanese
are not So if you have Korean features

Then you’re obviously a mixed
Korean or have like an impure heritage

And therefore you are
must be a lesser person

Zainichi, it’s a phrase you
might have just learned today,

is what they call ethnic Korean
people who grew up in Japan

So Japan invaded
Korea brought a lot of

Korean people over
back to Japan to be slaves

They were a lower cast of people.
They were treated very poorly.

They are zainichi They’re
children and their children’s children

grandchildren and
stuff grew up in Japan.

100% Japanese culture
but of course looked down

upon it’s a pretty dark
part of Japanese history

Japan has a lot of pretty
dark parts of her being honest

But this guy saying like
look at this other guy’s face

Doesn’t he sort of look korean
you shouldn’t shop for it with him.

Is you know again, that’s pretty clear what
he’s actually trying to say from the start.

To another CEO of a different company

He said according to the
compendium of zainichi common names.

He is 100% of korean descent.

So they have a list of

names that

Korean people when they came to
Japan would have changed their names to

To integrate into Japanese society.
So very standard ones, let’s say.

There’s a list of these the
compendium of zainichi common names

So these are the most common names
because he has one of these names

Ergo he must be it’s 100% factual
that he is from korean descent.

He’s not Japanese.
He’s not pure Japanese

I always do enjoy when people
say pure because in my mind.

That means nothing we’ve now hit a
point where there has been so much.

You know integration and
crossbreeding and stuff and.

How far back do you go
before something’s actually pure?

There’s no such thing as a pure
Japanese a pure Chinese a pure korean.

Pure anything because borders are made up.

And if I was born on the
border between China and India.

I’m gonna look like a little bit of both.
Maybe it’s hard very hard. Hey, whatever

It’s just again, I don’t actually see

Any of this is being in
any way legitimate because

I don’t see purity as
being actually possible

This is one of those
things where I bet if this guy.

You did his like 23 and
me DNA history thing

it would come up with
like 17% Chinese 17%.

Korean 17% Vietnamese something like
that like it’d be a mix of Asian cultures

Just because Asian cultures
throughout all of history

have mixed regardless of
whether you liked it or not

I enjoyed this part the most though

When newspapers asked
about the post the company not

the man because they
didn’t want the man out there

PR team was like we
gotta get this guy to shut up.

He’s saying the
race is shimmy done.

They said we will refrain
from answering at this stage.

So I think their hope
is that people will this

this will like just sort
of fade away a little bit

People will stop asking
questions. There won’t be

this problem in the future
if we just shut up now

Maybe we can get our
boss to not make racist

posts and things will
just like kind of calm down.

I think that might be why the
PR team was like don’t let him

answer the question because he
would probably double down not

Probably absolutely did
because he did a similar thing

at the previous company
DHC between 2020 and 2021.

When DHC was bought by oryx
They had Yoshida step down.

But he was making similar
posts that the company then

would remove so he’s sitting
in his office going like oh.

I looked at this other guy’s face.
He’s must be Korean

He’s typing away saying
racist stuff like oh look this

guy’s I don’t know what
features they would pick on it

Look at his eyes nose ears mouth.
He’s clearly Korean descent.

Obviously you should
not shop with him or

he doesn’t do a good
job because of his face

You should only shop with
me because I look at this

the the mask of purity
that I wear all day every day.

I haven’t seen a
picture of them.

I actually tried to look
at a picture of them.

Really quickly this morning. I
didn’t get one. I wanted to see what a

pure Japanese looked like so I could maybe
recognize one of the future I fully expect.

He will get in trouble.

Because it’s kind of
illegal and it’s not really a

good thing for your CEO
or president to be saying

It makes your company
look bad a lot of people in

Japan are now stepping
very far back from this stuff

We’ve had lots of stories.

In the past of old
Japanese men saying racist

stuff and getting in trouble. We had the
guy Who was in charge of the Olympics.

He got in trouble for sexism
and racism and stuff and.

We got the mayor of Osaka
way back. He used to say he said

racist stuff like every day. I
loved him because every week

He said it’s something. I had a
story I could do an international pen

and apparently that is actually
the last thing you want as a politician

To have me talk about you because that
means you have just crossed a stupid line.

God I had tried to hold
that sneeze the whole time.

I think Dave’s hair
went up my nose

Can I get it done without disturbing him?
Oh, buddy.

There he is. I’m pretty sure
me just rubbing him the whole

time is kicked up a lot of the
hair and went up in my nose

Oh, you want scratches in your belly
you got some Dave camp time, baby.

And now you think for
just just the tiniest bit of

his face on my desk. I
usually has his pod here.

It’s a little colder today.
So he’s just he’s just chilling

out. I give him a lot of
scratches and he can see his eyes.

slowly start to close.

Dave’s life is so hard.

Body Hair Confessions

(tongue clicking)

A gun without bullets is actually less
dangerous than bullets without a gun.

‘Cause a gun without bullets is just a brick
or a big chunk of metal, which you know,

it could be dangerous
if you hit someone with

it, but bullets are
still tiny explosive.

So you gotta be careful with your bullets.

A police sergeant went for lunch.

Let me turn off this.

(tongue clicking)

And you’d serve her for me.

Yeah, we’re good, okay.

A police sergeant decided it was
lunchtime, and he had his break,

and he went to a supermarket
by a bento or a pre-prepared meal.

Not muting discord, rookie.

(laughs)

Uh, yes, it is a rookie move.

The problem is I’m just so popular that
people are sending me messages all the time.

That’s really what it comes down to.

(laughs)

I actually think a lot of videos
are enhanced with the little bloop,

because it makes it seem
like people care about you.

I’ve changed my side up a bit.

You can see some of
my nerd stuff in the back.

So we have my nooka dark room.

I’ll introduce you to my
room before I continue.

I’m gonna start this story again.

We have the nooka dark
room that I spent way,

too much money for
how bad the alcohol is.

We have a dumba cook,
and then we have a little

warhammer 40K guy
that my friend made me.

Look at that.

He actually did a really good job.

You can get it in the right in the middle,
and maybe it’ll focus, it probably won’t.

I have to pull it back a bit.

You can’t see the details.

The whole point of these
things is the details, right?

So my friend that made that for me.

Since I have this space,

I ordered a touch coma, and
that’s gonna come, and then

in a couple months, I have
a slayer of a story coming.

Oh, hey.

So, that’s the excitement of this
space is going to now be my nerd space

because I figure that’ll
look good on camera.

Let’s start again with Ninja News Japan.

(sighs)

(electronic music)

That is probably the third or
fourth fall start I’ve had this morning.

What I wanna start with today is
to say, I want everyone to know that

the guns without bullets are actually
less dangerous than bullets without guns.

I’m really gonna get this
out there today in the world,

because the gun without bullets is
just a hunk of metal a brick essentially,

whereas bullets without
guns are still tiny explosives

that could explode in your
hand or face or anywhere else.

That’s bad.

Police Sergeant went to get lunch.

He went to get a bento, so
he went to the supermarket

and get a bento or
pre-prepared lunch, it’s very nice.

And some point during his trip to the
supermarket, he dropped a bag of ammunition.

Now, most people were
like, oh, he dropped his

ammunition, he lost his
ammunition, that’s really bad.

I’m like, bag.

For me, the optimal word in this, the
problematic word was bag of ammunition.

‘Cause it implies a loose bag of bullets.

A bag of loose bullets, I guess, is the
correct sentence I wanted to make just now.

Which to me just seems insane.

I always imagine bullets
is being very well kept.

So boxes with each one
standing up in its own little place.

Or, you know, like cowboys had a
belt in each bullet went into its own slot.

That is my image of how to
care for and handle bullets.

It seems, Japanese police
officers are, if not regularly,

irregularly, given hopefully
small bags of ammunition.

So on July 15th, this police
officer lost his bag of ammunition.

And I’m gonna say that a lot because
that’s the bit that blows my mind.

Then, noticed on July
16th, so the next day

he noticed, hey, my bag
of ammunition is gone.

My first thought when they said bag
of ammunition was actually Ziploc bag.

But the story employee who found the bag
didn’t know he was carrying live ammunition.

So it’s clearly not see through.

I’m hoping at least has Velcro on the top.

I don’t know, but they didn’t look in
the bag, which was kind of respectful.

I thought that was all right.

So he goes back.

The sergeant’s like, oh, I’ve
lost my bag of ammunition.

So he goes back, retrace his steps.

He goes back to the supermarket
and says, hey, did I drop a bag?

I’m gonna just leave out
of ammunition part here.

Did I drop a bag here in
the lost and found and go,

yeah, we do have a bag that matches the
description of your bag and he gets it back.

I don’t know how much
trouble you get in for for that.

But I always enjoy what I
learned things about rules in Japan.

I don’t know if this seems
other countries, but apparently

you’re giving your gun
an ammunition separately.

That sort of makes sense.

And Japan they use revolvers.

So again, my imagination, if you
said they gave him ammunition,

it would have been in
a box with each bullet

individually standing
up in foam or something

to make sure they don’t
bump into each other and go off.

Well, no, they give you a bag of ammunition

and then you’re supposed
to put the bullets in your gun.

And then you’re only supposed
to carry around your gun

with bullets in it as you go out
and do your duties during the day.

So he had decided it’s not
worth putting my bullets in my gun.

A, showing how safe a country Japan is

that this cop didn’t think
his gun needed bullets.

But B, shows how dangerous
it gets if you’re complacent

because he was carrying
around loose bullets in a

bag all day and then leaving
them in grocery stores.

They also come just stacked
on top of each other in a box.

I know that’s the
reality, but it just, I don’t,

I don’t want people to kill
themselves by accident or on purpose.

So it’s just weird.

It’s weird that people like
bullets are inherently dangerous.

That’s kind of my point.

So they shouldn’t be
handled all wheeling really.

A loose bag of bullets
seems like a bad idea.

So the reason for putting
your bullets in your gun

is that the gun actually
has a cable attached

to the police officer’s belt, which
means it’s very hard to steal a cop’s gun.

Now it’s still possible,
but it’s difficult.

If I just have a loose bag of ammunition

and someone grabs my loose bag of ammunition,
that’s actually quite easy to steal.

And then also they’re
actually if they have like a

safety zone the gun and
stuff is less likely to go off.

The secondary issue
is if this police officer

was in a situation where he
actually had to use his gun that day,

he would have been like, oh,
excuse me, incredibly dangerous,

Kremel who I need to
shoot right now, a timeout.

Let me just get my
little bag of ammunition.

I’ll just, I’ll take two.

Go, two bullets, let me
put them in my gun just now.

Okay, we’re now freeze.

I mean, that seems to be the
situation they were in in this moment.

He’s been reprimanded, fair.

But I know, I guess it is
nice that we live in a country

where cops don’t feel they
even have to load their guns.

So I actually just purchased a new car.

It’s very nice.

My old car will be recycled.

I just bought a new car, which is great.

Very excited.

It’s a hybrid.

I would want it to move
more, a little more greenhouse.

I want to do more, but there
weren’t charging stations and stuff.

It’s not really feasible right now.

It’s too bad.

My old car is going to be recycled.

Now recycled in Japan actually
means they’re going to fix it up.

Now what car runs fine is just
the taxation system in Japan

has made it so that after a certain
period, our car is 13 years old.

After a certain period,
the taxes are so high.

It’s actually cheaper to buy a new
car than to maintain your old car.

And so they take these old cars.

They fix them up.

They clean them up.

And they usually somewhere,
send them somewhere else

and resell them somewhere in Asia, usually
like Cambodia or Thailand or something.

You’ll see a lot of
secondhand Japanese cars.

It used to be also Russia, but not anymore.

Because of the export bands,
they’re now including used cars.

So last year, it was a luxury band.

So any luxury item from Japan
could not be exported to Russia.

Used cars were included if
they were 6 million yen or over.

So it had to be a pretty good luxury car

to be where 6 million
yen as a secondhand car.

This band has been expanded to any used car

with an engine over
1900 cc’s, hybrids, or EVs.

So any good car that could actually– you

could do stuff with
other than just transport

yourself is now not going
to be exported to Russia.

You can still get really,
really small compact cars.

But I’m assuming it goes engines.

You can’t turn into weapons of mass
destruction or like mount guns on them.

I don’t know the reasoning.

I figured if you’re going to do an export
band to a country, you just blanket band.

But then also, companies still
need to make their money and stuff.

So I’m a little torn.

I’m on all-in-nothing kind of guy
when it comes to let’s deal with Russia.

And honestly, I wouldn’t even
give him my under 1900 cc ex-ins.

Because who knows what
they’re going to do with them?

They’re clearly not in good
shape right now, mentally.

Mentally?

I don’t know.

Can you say a country is
not in good shape mentally?

Certainly the leadership.

What we’ll go with that.

OK, this was interesting.

I’m a content creator of sorts.

I create content by spitting into
this microphone on a regular basis.

Not bars, just flam.

There was an interesting
thing went up on the Internet.

And it was a creator who works
for Subaru Diata productions.

And they make Ultraman.

That’s kind of the most important thing.

And he went on the Internet
and he said, hey, big fans

of Ultraman, please don’t
send in your ideas to me.

Which is weird, because you’d be like all
the fans are very excited about Ultraman.

They send you all their
cool ideas for Ultraman.

You could use the ideas.

That’s the problem.

That’s actually the problem.

You’ve hit upon it.

The designer, one of the character
designers for Street Fighter,

came in and said, yeah, don’t send
in your design ideas, to Street Fighter.

And so this was almost snowballing.

All these other very serious professional
creators, I’m not one of those.

All those very serious professional creators
were saying, don’t send me your ideas.

The guy who’s in charge
of the Gundam manga,

he said he’s received
complaints in the past,

because he’s like a
fan is sent in an idea.

And then in some point, at some
later point, he’s done a similar idea.

Because again, we’re talking
about giant space robots.

How many actual ideas
are you going to have?

Well, I have an idea.

The giant space robot goes into space.

And if it’s another new giant
space robot, well, he did that story.

The guy who sent in that story
was like, hey, dude, you took my story.

You didn’t credit me.

You didn’t compensate me.

You didn’t even say thank you.

He’s like, well, I didn’t use your story.

We just happened to be in
the same genre of stories.

So the concern is that
if you send in your story,

and they don’t even
look at it, they don’t use it,

what’s going to happen is they will
hit on a similar story at a later date.

That similar story is going to be the
problem, because you might try to sue them.

So like, you took my
idea, you used my idea,

you didn’t compensate
me, you didn’t credit me.

I should now be considered a
professional, whatever thing I’ve sent you.

Be it writer, artist, or whatever.

I want my cut.

And so these creators,
these professional designers

and whatnot, they’re saying,
don’t send us your ideas,

because we just don’t want
that problem in the future.

Because let’s face it,
we get so much stuff.

We don’t even look at it anyways.

I have posted several video game ideas and
TV show ideas on the Internet in the past.

And let’s be very honest.

I will sue.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

There was a– I– this
story’s not very good.

I actually only did this story because
of the name of the hair removal place.

There’s a male laser hair removal chain.

It’s mostly in Tokyo and Osaka.

It’s called Wolf Clinic.

I don’t know why I really enjoyed that.

A hair removal place
where their logo is like a wolf

howling at the moon covered in
hair, which made me think of werewolf.

And I’m like, ah, you’re a werewolf.

But you, if you do, laser hair
removal, you’re not a werewolf anymore.

But you still maintain the vigor,
the vitality, that is the werewolf.

Probably reading into it a
bit of being really honest.

They suspended services in April.

They have received 700 complaints.

I was interested also on the pricing.

The average cost for hair removal,
laser hair removal, is 210,000 yen.

So it’s like 2,000 bucks, let’s say.

It’s like probably 1,700,
something like that.

If you want, this one man was complaining

that he didn’t get his
total body hair removal.

So I was like total implies all the
hair in your body head, face, body.

But I’m assuming he
actually means like, chin down.

So his chest, legs, exciting areas.

How much does that cost?

There’s an interesting question.

How much does it cost to get all
the body hair on your body removed?

It’s 400,000 yen.

So hair removal, non-specific,
the average was 210,000 yen.

I’m assuming that’s going
to be like chest and back.

And I got, I got some, I got some
weird shoulder hair growing in.

I could get them laser off.

I’d be pretty happy about that.

The problem is the company’s
going into bankruptcy.

So a lot of these guys
might be, they paid to have

their body hair removed and they’re
not getting their body hair removed.

I, I feel some sympathy
but wolf body hair removal.

I was just a great name.

Speaking of great names, if you are named.

So I have a thing about when the
police give a nickname to a thing.

400,000, per session or
for a hundred dollars of

a 10-year-old, 10-year-old,
10-year-old, 10-year-old.

And I’m going to make
a, I’m going to make

a, I’m going to make
a, I’m going to make the

assumption that that
means multiple sessions.

So it’s like, they’re actually charging,
I guess, for a square inch of body.

So like you want to have your torso lazored,
that’s going to cost this much money.

You want to have your legs lazored.

That’s going to cost so much money.

That’s a crazy good deal.

Is it?

I don’t know.

I’ve never looked into hair removal.

Again, I just said I, I do it.

I have some really, I have
really gross chest hair.

This is now going to be a
confessional about my body shaming.

I have nipples.

That’s it.

That’s my confession.

I, Peter, of an engineer’s depend.

I have nipples.

I apologize.

I have like octopus hairs,
like the just little straggly ones.

And then I have like a patch in the middle.

I would actually love
to get those lazored off.

I was being honest.

I’m one of those white
people who has really thick

hair on his beard, losing my hair
up top and patchy hair on my body.

I don’t mind losing my hair.

I don’t really care about the beard.

It’s just okay.

It’s, it’s nice.

The patchy hair, if it was
even, if it was like consistent.

Okay.

Patchy hair is gross.

I think we can all agree.

If I had the extra money, I’d go to wolf.

Well, I guess not because
they’re going bankrupt.

I would get some hair laser hair
treatment and get that, that taken off.

I was going to talk about a bear.

I’ve gone from wolves to bears.

There is a gigantic bear that is in
Hokkaido has been killing and eating cows.

Now that doesn’t apply if you say that way.

It’s eating the entire cow,
which I don’t think is true.

But it has 66, it has attacked 66
cows and killed 32, eaten most of them.

The bear is gigantic.

And they’ve given it a
name, OSO 18, so also 18.

And I don’t know.

I have this thing like when
cops give a criminal nickname.

That’s not usually as cool as the movies.

The comp hits our like $150
per session, and you need like 10.

Teets in the chat still on the hair.

Okay.

Arm pits are like $150 per session
in the US, and you need 10 sessions.

That’s $1,500.

Just for your armpits.

Yeah.

I don’t know.

It couldn’t have been
$400,000 yen per session.

It must have been a block of sessions.

It just must have been.

Like I get, I didn’t look into
the actual programs they offered,

because they’re going
bankrupt, so I couldn’t

even get it even if I
was vaguely interested

for no nipple-oriented
reason whatsoever.

Let’s just be clear on that.

There’s a big bear.

The total cost for hair, laser removal for
a bear is way more than that of a person.

Because there’s nothing else to that story.

There’s just a really big
bear, and I really like bears.

Bears are cool.

Since we’re talking about big things, I’m
now trying to find– I’ll stop doing it.

No, don’t do it.

D-mailing is fun.

What I’m hoping the evolution of
this podcast would be, I tell a story.

We have a chat conversation.

I tell a story.

We have a chat conversation.

So please feel free to do it.

Because if the chat’s
no good, I can delete it.

Like that’s the editing
process for when this goes out.

So I have that power of
if it’s a fun conversation.

We have the fun conversation.

If it’s not a fun conversation, it’s going.

I mean, that’s just the beauty of editing.

As we can sit here and dick
around as much as we want.

I need to learn a certain
level of professionalism as well.

I need to learn to
know when to just power

through the story, and
then deal with the chat.

Whereas the thing is, I’m
actually all excited about the chat.

And I want to talk to
both at the same time.

So this is a skill I
need to teach myself is

when to do story, when
to stop, when to do chat.

Should I go back or
should I just keep going?

That kind of thing.

Ignatius called me a dick.

I assume the laser hairdreaming
for your dick is quite expensive.

2000 peaches.

So I’m helping.

Of course you’re helping.

You’re giving me a level of
enthusiasm I would not get by myself.

Even if I cut out all the chat
bits, the enjoyment level on my side

and the enthusiasm that
that would create goes up.

Hey, think about that.

That’s true.

2000 peaches were stolen
from a Fukushima orchard.

Of course they were stolen at night.

And I was just like, holy
shit, that’s a lot of peaches.

30 trees and the peaches
are very sought after.

If you know anything about
fruit in Japan, fruit in Japan

is very expensive, but
then they have special fruit.

They always have these areas
and this area is famous for apples.

And this area is famous for peaches.

These peaches would be worth.

2000 peaches would be
worth at least 650,000 yen.

It was weird to me.

I’m like, I guess you can’t
have orchard security.

Must be a really hard thing to organize.

Because they put up fences
and stuff, but I mean you

could just take a truck
and roll through a fence.

And now you have a truck in the
middle of the orchard with all the peaches.

You just gather as many peaches
as you can and drive the truck away.

It’s got to be really hard.

Last year or previous years we had
Apple theft stories and similar stories.

So it seems like this is an ongoing issue.

Police have stepped up
patrols because the actual

harvest time for peaches
is an August in Japan.

But they got a couple
weeks early and I guess

they’re going to hold on to those
peaches and then sell them in a later date.

They would have ripened
by then to a degree.

But this is actually
a… It’s weird.

I was like, how do you
protect your peaches?

Okay, the Abbeis assassination.

This mare of the town
had happened and he

was like, we should put
up a memorial statue.

And then the people in the town were
like, nah man, we don’t want a memorial

statue because we don’t really
want to be reminded that this

prime minister was assassinated
in our town all the time.

So, can we do something else?

And the man was like, ah,
the people are kind of right.

I protect my peach by wearing pants.

I am only being videoed
and chest up at the moment.

So who knows if my peaches
protected at the moment?

So the people in this town are
saying they don’t want a statue.

They don’t want a statue to Abbeis.

They don’t want to be reminded
that he was assassinated in

their town every single day
when they walk around this area.

So the man was like,
okay, we’ll compromise.

We put in a flower bed.

And then anyone who would
like to visit the flower bed could,

you know, put a memorial
thing there, you know, whatever.

People do when they have memorial things.

So one citizen was like, no, I want
the statue that was originally proposed.

I actually was like, this
is a very reasonable mare.

You had an idea.

He brought up to the people.

The people said no, he
didn’t go like, well, I’m the man.

I’m doing what I want.

He’s like, oh, I represent the people.

The people said they don’t want it.

I’ll do something else.

I think the flower bed is a very
good compromise because it does

give you a place to memorialize
this event and remember the person.

But it also doesn’t remind
everyone all day every

day that this terrible thing
happened in their town.

This is one guy was like,
nah, I want a big-ass statue.

So he decided that this would be the
appropriate way to change the mare’s mind.

Who do you think you
are opposing the erection

of former Prime
Minister Abe’s memorial?

I will send scumblike
you to the afterlife soon.

So I hope you’re ready.

That, if you haven’t figured
out already, is a death threat.

So you have a man who
was murdered in a town.

And then the mare said, I want to put
up a statue as a memorial to this man.

And the town said, we don’t
really want this memorial.

And he said, well, let’s find a compromise.

We’ll do something else that
can sort of keep everyone happy.

He finds that solution.

There’s one guy’s like, I don’t like that.

I’m going to kill you.

Would you think that’s a good idea?

Because the police don’t.

Also, he did it online from
his phone through a forum

that was like to give
feedback to the government.

So he was found pretty
quickly and arrested.

When it was arrested, he
said, I thought the mare would

change his mind if I
bombarded him with harsh words.

I have caused him a great deal of trouble.

Yes, you have.

You’ve actually, what you’ve
really done is caused yourself a great

deal of trouble because now you’re
being arrested for death threats.

Do you have ants?

I’m assuming in your
country you do, but if

you have ants in your
house, what do you do?

He actually did a very Japanese thing.

There’s this powder you put around.

You do like a border around your house.

I spent one morning just putting
this little… It looks like salt.

I don’t know if it’s pesticide
because it didn’t seem to do anything.

But you put this powder
all around the house.

You were supposed to keep the
ants from getting into the house.

They wouldn’t cross this border.

I can’t really explain what happened.

I guess it probably wasn’t
pesticide of some sort.

If you have a house that you own
and you’re fixing it up and you have ants,

you know the word saying that when you have
a hammer, everything looks like an ale.

I think I just said an ale.

I was in a beer.

That’s not correct.

When you have a hammer,
everything looks like an ale.

I assume this is applicable
to almost every implement.

So therefore, if you have a blow torch,
every ant looks like something you can burn.

So this man has a house.

He doesn’t live there.

It’s just his property and he’s
fixing it up and he sees some ants.

And he has a blow torch.

He’s like, “Huh, I know
how to get rid of these ants.”

So he starts blowtorching the ants.

Leaves the house weirdly the
house burns down that night.

The police and fire department show up.

They put out the fire.

No one’s hurt because again, no one
actually lives in this house at the moment.

Luckily, no neighbor’s house
is caught on fire as well.

The fire and the police
department, I really like this.

After they spoke to the
men, they are investigating the

cause of the fire despite the
fact that the man has admitting

to using a blow torch to
kill ants inside the house.

So your Ninja Ninja
Japan advice for today is

don’t use blow torch for
non-blowtorci problems.

That might be the title of the episode.

Okay, last story.

It sounds like a joke.

So that’s what got my intention.

The more I got into this story,
the weirder it was, which I did enjoy.

If former chief priest,
so I have a temple and a

private investigator
broke into a woman’s home,

the priest knew the woman and he
had sort of a one-sided love for her.

So she didn’t love him.

He loved her.

They broke into her house and
they stole 19 million yen and cash.

First of all, I don’t have 19 million
yen in cash to keep in my house.

I’m already a bit jelly of this lady.

The priest was in love with the
woman and he hired the private

investigator who says he
specialized in breaking up couples,

which I didn’t think was a subset of
skills that private investigators had.

So you could hire this guy to try to
break up couples in the hopes that you

can get one member of the couple
that you’re interested in to be with you.

So is that private investigation?

I guess you would need, if you want to be good at
breaking up a couple, you would need to do some private

investigating to find out what would break them up
in order to then implement a plan to break them up.

So I guess it could
fall into, this is like evil

private detecting, or at
least it certainly immoral.

So they broke into the house to steal the
money and then they were also breaking into

the house to steal back all the gifts that
the priest had given to the woman in the past.

So he’d been like, I love you.
Here’s a Prada bag. I love you. Here’s

a coach bag. I’m just using
bags. I know that ladies like bags.

And then they’re like,
holy, I’ve given this lady a

lot of bags and she hasn’t,
you know, put out yet.

I don’t know what he was
actually expecting. He hasn’t,

he hasn’t left her husband
for me because I gave her bags.

So, oh, my bags bags.
We bring in, they get the bags.

Or they actually say they only
say they got the money. So they look

for the bags. I bet the woman
was smart. I’ve just realized this now.

I bet the woman sold the bags. I bet
this is what Hostess is doing, Host Clubs.

This was a whole thing I
learned about. So let’s say

I’m a Hostess in a club and
I have many male suitors.

What I do is for my birthday, I say, I
want this very specific brand of Rolex.

And then three or four of the guys
will all give me the same Rolex because

I’ve been, you know, I’ve been
very specific about which one I want.

I like the serial number,
the code or whatever

it would be. And
the color, everything.

So I get the same watch three, four times.
I will keep one and wear it and say it’s the

one you gave me, the one you gave me, the one
you gave me, and I’ll take the three extras.

And I go sell them for the money. That’s
a good move. This lady probably did a lower

level of that where this priest was giving
her, I am going to assume unwanted gifts.

And she took those gifts
and she sold them. So that’s

probably why they didn’t
find the bags in the house.

But they did manage to find
19 million yen. Maybe she sold

them for 19 million cash and
that’s what they picked up.

They went back again. So this first thing to get
the money back wasn’t enough because the lady still

hadn’t broken up with her boyfriend or husband,
whoever it was. I’m pretty sure it was husband.

So they’re like, we got to, we can’t give up. So
the priest has an idea and he goes to the private

and he says, we’ll break into their house, we’ll
plant some marijuana. The husband will get arrested.

That will surely break them up. And then
I can swoop her off her feet with obviously

the massive amount of charm I have having
come up with these schemes in the first place.

So he’s, oh, I had the quote, if
you plant cannabis in their home, the

woman’s husband would get arrested
and the two would likely separate.

It is interesting that he assumes only the man is going to get
caught for marijuana possession because if it’s in the house, it’s

actually legally possible that either party is guilty. The woman,
I’m, you know, very egalitarian. I believe in equal rights.

So I also believe in equal ability to
commit crime. So as a cop, I wouldn’t

walk in and go, here’s some marijuana.
That man must have committed a crime.

I would be here some marijuana. There’s
two people who live here. At least one

of these people committed a crime. Maybe
even both. Maybe they smoke it together.

It will conceive of both.

This shows sort of the old style
thinking of these, these, these, at least

this priest former priest because of
course he’s in a bit of trouble right now.

So they got caught, they got caught for breaking into
the house once and stealing 19 million yen breaking

into the house a second time and planting marijuana and
even the possession of marijuana is illegal in Japan.

So it’s not only they had
to get it, purchase it, take it

somewhere and plant it. That’s
a whole series of crimes in itself.

This is one step away from a
romantic comedy movie. I’m just waiting

for the rights to come through and
then that’ll be my next big project.

[Music].

Propensity to consume

(upbeat music)

Kaiten Sushi.

It’s really big in Japan.

It’s big deal.

People love it.

You sit your table.

There’s a little conveyor
belt that goes by.

Sushi’s on it.

You like the Sushi.

Take it off.

Eat it.

Feel good.

Everyone’s happy.

Couple viral videos though.

May have ruined that for everyone.

So in the viral video,

it was a young man, of course.

And he would lick his finger.

And then he would
touch some of the Sushi

that went by, which
meant someone else

who takes it off and eats it, is
of course, ingesting his saliva.

But it didn’t stop there.

There were the bottles of soy sauce.

and a young man licked the end of that.

So anyone who went to that table afterwards

would be using soy sauce
that had been contaminated

with the saliva of the previous young man.

And then there’s the little.

cup.

It’s covered.

And you take off the cover
and there’s a little spoon

and it’s the green tea and you put that in.

You put in some hot water.

You have some nice green tea.

The boy took the spoon from that
and then licked it and then put it back in.

So it’s just young men being gross.

Three incidences of young men
being really gross at Kai-ten Sushi.

They videoed themselves.

They videoed themselves
and then put that online.

This is massive outcry in Japan.

And the problem is people think it’s gross.

Now in Japan, when
people think stuff is gross,

they’ll stop coming to your restaurant.

The company, the main company is Sushi-toe.

And what they wanna do is,
it’s not what they wanna do.

The main company is Sushi-toe.

They have contacted the police.

They want to proceed with
criminal and civil charges.

‘Cause this is obstruction of business.

So put a little ding up there for
another obstruction of business.

It’s sort of endangering other people.

‘Cause if you have
coronavirus or anything else,

’cause it’s obviously people’s mind.

If I lick my finger and touch the Sushi,

if I have a disease, I’m
giving you that disease.

So that’s kind of the problem.

Now, the interesting fallout for this.

is there was a 5% drop in
market value of Sushi-toe stock.

Now it’d be interesting,
of course, it’s a giant chain.

So there’s one near my
house, there’s one near my work.

Like everywhere I go, I could
probably find a Sushi-toe.

A 5% market drop for
Sushi-toe is 12 billion yen.

Chinese news outlets are
actually reporting this story

and then people are
canceling their trips to Japan.

So tourism is being
affected by some, I

know he’s underage
because of something

that comes a little later.

Some underage, like basically a teenager,

being gross and stupid.

But when it affects your stocks,
when it affects national tourism,

you know you got a big issue.

So Sushi-toe contacted
the police, they

have security camera,
they found the kid.

Now, I know it’s a kid because
they received a direct apology

from the customer and this guardian.

So you know if they’re
talking to the guardian,

it’s not an adult, they’re not
responsible for themselves.

The company plans to continue with criminal

in this civil case.

So here’s the thing,
imagine you’re that kid’s mom

and that this company,
this nationally famous chain

has showed up at your door and said,

“Your kid licked some Sushi,
it has cost us 12 billion yen.

What are you gonna do?”

‘Cause the mom can
apologize, the kid can apologize.

I can pretty much promise you
that kid’s not gonna do this again.

But at the same time,

Sushi-toe could ruin this family forever.

Like that’s it, it could just
be like gone, you’re done.

They could take all the money you
ever have and will make for themselves.

It’s just that simple.

Now there’s also, hama Sushi,

which is a competing Kaiten Sushi chain.

They called the police,
’cause a customer

was videoed taking
Sushi off the thing

that had no wasabi
in it and putting wasabi

in it and putting it
back on the thing.

So when the people got it,
they got Sushi with wasabi

that was not supposed to have wasabi.

It’s spicy, so it’s a little
prank, but then again,

I don’t know how common
wasabi allergies are,

but I have no significant
allergies other than, you know,

like seasonal allergies
and I just take some drugs

and I’m fine, none
of its life threatening,

but you know people
with peanut allergies

and people with other food allergies,
like this is stuff that kills you.

So this other kid, he’s basically
on the hook for attempted murder.

I know they’re not actually
gonna charge him with that,

but that is kind of the severity of
the thing that’s actually happening.

So, the problem, okay, I hate doing this,

I do this every time and I gotta stop.

It’s weird instinct, but budding criminals,

you have to stop videoing yourself.

I understand that the clout
is what people wanna go for.

The sort of notoriety
is what you want,

but what you’re doing
is committing crimes

and if you video yourself committing
crimes and put it on the Internet,

this is how they get attention
and once they get attention,

you’re screwed, you got
nothing left ’cause there’s proof.

They already got
this kid because of

security cameras,
but videoing it yourself,

put it out there.

Jade has just posted
in, look, criminals

being dumb as how
the police system works.

In Japan, 100% yes.

I would actually say investigators in Japan

probably do less work than
any other country I can see

because half the time
people turn themselves in,

the other half they video themselves
doing it and post it on the Internet.

These guys basically
just have to surf the net,

go what’s trending, which
crime is trending today?

And then they just
go like, oh, let’s find

out where that guy
lives and go arrest him.

So, the fallout now is they’re
going to put acrylic shields

in front of the Sushi thing,
so you can’t touch it easily.

They’re going to install more cameras,

so if you do this, you’re
more likely to get caught.

But the fallout really is,
people are already going like,

I don’t wanna go to Kaiten Sushi,
I don’t wanna go to Sushi dough

because there is
the possibility that

some dumb, gross
kid is touched my food,

which was always
a possibility, but it

came to light, it
came to the forefront.

when this became national news.

And last week, this was honestly
100% number one, national news.

(upbeat music)

You work in a prison and the
prisons aren’t very full anymore

because you know, it crimes down overall.

And people in Japan aren’t
committing, actually, no.

My last story is about how
crime is up, but different crimes.

People aren’t going to jail
as much as they used to,

maybe it’s more accurate.

So this guy, he’s like, I got
a lot of free time at work,

I don’t have to abuse prisoners.

So I’ll bring my PS Vita to work.

So the guard brings his PS Vita.

Already, weirdly okay again, being
someone who plays a lot of video games,

my first slide is PS Vita.

I mean, you don’t have a switch.

So the PS Vita
though was very popular

in Japan, because it
had a lot of functions

that honestly the switch doesn’t have.

You could download TV
to it, I actually don’t know.

My son has a switch, but I’ve
never played with it seriously.

So I don’t know what its capabilities are,

but the PS Vita,
you could download

like MP4 files to it
and you can watch TV.

So this guy, he
brings a couple games,

downloads a couple TV
shows, sits at his desk,

he’s playing some games,
he’s watching a little TV,

but of course, it’s noticeable.

He’s the guy who’s
supposed to be doing rounds.

He’s supposed to do five rounds a day.

His reasoning was, I was bored
because there were so few detainees.

He played games, he fell asleep,

he did not do his five rounds.

He watched TV saved on the console
for at least an hour, probably more.

I would assume, if I was the
boss of this prison facility,

I would assume that if I
caught one of my prison guards,

not doing his rounds watching
TV playing video games

on the clock, that he would be fired.

In Japan, gets a warning.

I was really shocked by that.

Like your literal one job is to watch,

to make sure people don’t escape.

I am playing a video game
right now with Mr. Warman’s,

called a way out where
we escape from prison.

And it was surprisingly
easy to escape from prison.

It was a couple of really simple puzzles,

had to get a screwdriver out of
the workshops, it’s stuff like that.

But if there’s two people,

I mean, I can tell you getting
out of prison is dead easy.

I’ve run the simulation
twice and success both times.

Even went on a little bit of a shooting
rampage at the end of the game.

So, prison guards got to be on the ball.

The prime minister, one of
the prime minister secretaries.

So last week we had one of
the prime minister secretaries.

Now, secretary is not like a
personal assistant kind of thing.

It’s like a serious job, ’cause
you’re like secretary of stuff.

It was his son last
week, got in trouble

for the scandal of
taking a government car

around Paris and places
and buying souvenirs and stuff.

He claimed it was for official duties.

Everyone else is
saying it was just for him.

That pales in comparison to this
dude, who is, he got to learn to shut up.

So the prime minister secretary
told reporters off the record,

he hates to see LGBT people and
would hate to have them live next to him.

So he was fired.

I mean, you want to give some
credence to the prime minister.

He was like, oh my God,
that was a dumb thing to say.

Usually in Japanese politics,
they say something stupid.

The government in power
actually backs them up and goes,

oh, he didn’t mean that or he
was taken out of context and stuff.

This was off the records.

You shouldn’t even have heard about it.

They make excuses.

I actually am gonna
give Kishita some credit

’cause he literally just
went, now you’re fired.

If Japan recognizes same sex
marriage, people will abandon the country.

It was another statement he made,

which I was like, I don’t
actually see how that’s true.

Because what are you saying?

Are you saying that people born in Japan,

if they live around or
are with LGBT plus people,

they’re gonna leave the country?

‘Cause they’re already here and
people are not leaving the country.

So that doesn’t make sense.

I struggled with what
they were actually saying.

Because basically this guy’s just saying,

I don’t like it, I think
it’s the short version.

It did bring me to a secondary story though

of some of the hypocrisy that’s
going on in Japanese courts

because Tokyo court upheld
a ban of same sex marriage.

But the same court said
that the lack of protections

for same sex families
violates human rights.

So you can see they
understand, like if you are a couple,

whether you’re a man or a
woman, a woman, a woman,

or whatever, whatever
combination you wanna put together,

you should have fundamental
basic human rights

supported for you by the
government, regardless.

But at the same time, they
like, but you can’t get married.

So I think maybe there’s some confusion

as to what these protections
actually are supposed to mean.

Because a lot of times
my view of marriage

is that it’s primarily
for taxation.

It’s representation in taxation.

You get married for love, that’s all great,

but that has nothing to
do with the government.

As far as the government’s concerned,

two people come together
and bring their finances together

that changes the taxation or
the structure of their finances

and taxes should be done differently.

It has very little to do with love
or gender or anything like that.

So my view of the
law is actually really

simple in that whether
you are cis or LGBT,

if you form a partnership,
it will affect your taxation.

Because again, laws
shouldn’t really be

concerned with gender
politics in any way.

It should be
concerned with people

and how they live
their lives and fairness.

And so that being the case, I
fully support same-sex marriage

and any sort of combinations
that are out there.

I’m like, “Hey, man, if you are happy

and your partner’s happy,
I’m actually okay with that.”.

Because what we’re
really talking about is

how you should be
taxed by the government

when you’re talking about a marriage.

Marriage ceremonies and
stuff, they’re all about love,

religious ceremonies,
I can’t comment on

if they think it’s bad,
that’s up to them,

but I would not join that religion.

So it’s really that simple.

But I’m really
happy that I got fired

because normally
they wouldn’t fire them.

Normally they try to cover it
up, normally they try to deflect.

And this time he’s just
like, “You know what?

“Now what you’re saying doesn’t
reflect my beliefs “and you’re fired.”.

(clock ticking)

I got it.

Oh, last week we talked about Luffy,

who was running a crime
ring from a detention

center in the
Philippines in Manila.

And my question was, how does
this guy who’s in the Philippines,

who, how did he
get a cell phone and

how is he running a
criminal organization

from the Philippines with
just a cell phone successfully?

Well, turns out he had six cell phones.

There were four people involved.

I think I’m giving too much
credit to the Luffy character

because his name came to the
forefront, but there were four people

and they were kind of running
this mini criminal empire.

They had six mobile
phones and police

when they went and
searched their cells,

they actually retrieved phones and laptops.

So I’m wondering how they got a
laptop in without anyone noticing,

or are the prison facilities, the
detention center facilities in Manila,

just that generous.

So I found that to be very interesting.

I would like to know
more about that system.

There seems to be the scams racked
up nearly six billion yen worth of money.

So we’re talking about home
invasions, we’re talking about scams,

we’re talking about just
stealing money from people.

It’s insane.

One of four of the guys
may not be deported to Japan.

So this week and next week,
they’re trying to deport them to Japan

so they can actually answer
for their crimes in Japan.

But one guy, because he committed
assault, is on trial for the assault

and when you’re on trial in the
Philippines, you can’t be deported.

You actually have to stay
there and go through your trial.

After his trial, he’ll probably have
to serve some kind of punishment.

After that punishment, he
could be deported to Japan

to be put on trial again for
the crime scenes committed

while he was in detention
in the Philippines.

It’s incredibly complicated.

It’s insane that it’s actually
happening, but there you go.

I will keep you updated.

I’m really interested in what
happens when he gets to Japan,

when the sort of the main dudes
get to Japan and they go on trial.

I would love to have more details
about how they were organizing it.

It’s how they organized it.

So I understand the crimes.

Home invasions, in this
case, were quite simple.

We show up, we pretend
you have a package,

you open the door,
they kick in the door.

Maybe they beat up the person, but
they just want to steal some money.

Ski wise, not that
sophisticated, but at

the same time, simplicity
and effectiveness

often go together.

But how did he organize it?

It must have just been
through social media

and stuff, but how
do you organize it?

How do you get people to do it?

How does he collect his profits?

If I’m the criminal
who’s kicked in the

door and gotten,
let’s say, a million yen

from that household somehow,

what motivation do I have
to actually send him his cut?

Is a really interesting question.

There’s a lot of those
details I would really like

to know about because it’s the machinations

of the machine they’ve
created that I really want

to hear about because it’s fascinating

that this was as successful as it
was for as long as it was from, again,

a detention center in another country.

makes it just almost mind blowing.

The first time, so
this actually relates

to my verbal gaff sort
of at the beginning.

For the first time in 20 years, in 2022,

it’s the last year, nine as
2023, when we’re recording this,

crime increased in Japan.

This is primarily an increase in
street crime, but it’s up 5.9% from 2021.

Now that sounds like crime has shot up.

over the last year, which
is not the actual case

because every single
year since the end of

World War II, which
is when they recorded,

it started recording crime stats like this.

The number has gone down every single year.

So this is just a tiny self correction

because you had coronavirus
actually put everyone away,

crime decreased
significantly during that time

because during that time,
people just weren’t out and about

and it was harder to commit street crimes.

Primarily, now people are
out back on the street again.

Street crime is more possible,
more than anything else.

Again, opportunity is a big part of crime.

So this is up 5.9%
from 2021, but we’re

talking about a decline
every single year

for the last 70 years.

So it’s just a little blip
upwards, comparatively speaking.

So I don’t think people should freak out.

There’s a lot of very serious crimes

that you wanna talk about,
but I was very interested.

Bicycle theft is up 14.4%.

So if you ride a bicycle, the bicycle
is a very common way of transporting

yourself around Japan.

If you use a bicycle,
the last year was a lot,

but not surprisingly,
the ransomware, cyber

attacks, that kind
of stuff, up 57.4%.

Because criminals may be
are shifting from street crime

to cyber crime because
it’s probably more profitable.

It takes less investment.

There’s actually
probably less risk at first.

As long as you can
cover your tracks, it’s

very hard for people
to actually find you.

90% of the crimes we talk
about in Indonesia, Japan,

the people get caught,
it’s surveillance cameras,

see them, follow them to the train station,

they take the train home, the
surveillance, you now know where they lived

and they please just
show up at their house.

So again, I’m not talking
about like deep detective work,

like Jade said earlier,
these guys are one step away

from turning themselves in
if you do a crime in person.

So cyber crime,
computer crime makes

a lot more sense in
the current situation.

When talking about
real life dumb ass crimes,

we have a man who was
walking around a supermarket.

and he walked out and
he didn’t buy anything.

He got really frustrated.

So he kicked a glass door
and the glass door shattered.

And when he was a red, the
police, so the staff called the police,

Mandra calls the police
and the police show up

and they’re like, “Hey,
what are you doing?”

He goes, “I was really frustrated
that there was nothing here

that I wanted to buy so I kicked
the door and shattered the door.”

That is obstruction of business.

And he’s going to be arrested for that.

I don’t think too much is gonna happen,

but I don’t know,
again, you didn’t wanna

buy anything so
you kicked the door?

Like what level of
frustration are you feeling?

How badly did you wanna buy something?

Clearly just dumb ass.

(clock ticking)

Which takes us into our last story
which was sort of pretty interesting.

They do surveys about like
consumption habits and sales

and this is all important to the government

because it all talks about GDP.

One of the most recent,
I think last week again

on the news Japan, I talked
about how 50% of Japan’s GDP

is basically just consumption.

It’s just people buying stuff.

Like it’s huge.

It’s really important that
people keep the economy going.

People under 35, their
propensity to consume is weak,

which is really bad for Japan as a country.

‘Cause again, Japan’s
economy survives on

the fact that the
money is moving around.

But why are, this is under 35,
so it’s technically younger people.

I would say mostly people in their 20s.

Why are these people in
their 20s not spending money?

I would go ahead
and guess most of

them aren’t making a
lot of money to spend.

Everything just went up 4%.

And again, I’ve talked a couple times about

my electricity prices
doubled compared to last year.

I, not as a young person,
but I am spending less money.

I am suddenly being way
more cautious with my money.

I saw a cool little figurine
that I really wanted to buy.

It was 8,000 yen.

I was like, I cannot justify
spending 8,000 yen on this figurine.

So what are these kids
doing with their money?

It’s a 20% increase of young people
saying they want to save for retirement.

This is compared to 2007 to 2009.

So they do these surveys
over a couple of years.

So basically, young people are now saying,

I have to keep money so that
when it comes time for me to retire,

I have enough money to retire.

I don’t want to be working
indefinitely in perpetuity.

because I actually want to
have at least some point in my life

where I’m not bound to a
desk or doing some kind of job.

And they’re saying
that this is the root

cause of stagnation of
the economy in Japan.

It’s actually people, young people,

being so concerned and
so worried about the future

that they’re preparing for the
future by not spending right now.

So this is part of why the
government has made a call

for an increase in the
lifetime wages of people.

Because like I said, I have a job.

It’s pretty stable.

I make the same money
I made last year, though.

So actually, my take
home earnings value-wise

has gone down 4%
because of the force,

percent increase in inflation.

Electricity in these
things have doubled

in price, which I
have no control over.

I still have to pay for electricity.

So I now have to spend money there.

I’m not spending money on something else.

That 15,000 yen, so it
went from 15 last year

in December to 30,000
this year in December.

That 15,000 yen is not
going into the economy.

I’m not buying little figurines
or toys or entertainment

or stuff to keep the economy going.

That’s going directly to the power company.

They might be building nuclear power plants

or something else to make
power cheaper in the future,

but as an older person, that’s
not really going to benefit me.

Hopefully it benefits these
young people who are saving.

But they’re seeing stuff like this happen

and they’re thinking, “I
need to hold onto my money

“so I have enough money for the future.

“and paid does not increase
significantly in Japan.”

So I’m not going to
get paid a lot of money,

so I need to hold on
to as much as I can.

That, the problem
they’re not really realizing

is that philosophy,
that core kind of thinking

is going to continue with them
throughout the entirety of their life.

They’re not going to, at 35, something go,

“Ah, you know what, I
have enough to retire.

“I’m ready to go.

“Let’s just start spending money.”

These are going to be a generation
of people who do not spend money.

And if we don’t, like, because of the way

the economy works in
Japan, if they don’t get people

to have more money, then
they cannot spend money,

and then you get into
this cycle of decrease,

where I’m not spending
money, so companies make,

maybe offer less
salary, like salaries go

down because
products are going down,

and it just keeps declining
as if, and then, of course,

I’m making less
money, so I spend less

money, and it goes
down and down and down.

It relates to a very weird different story.

I’ve always, the Chinese foreign minister,

this is about four years ago.

He was this amazing guy,

because he was just so
blunt and straightforward.

And they said, “Oh, China,
they were interviewing him,

“and they say, “China’s investing
a lot of money “in Indonesia.

“Why are you doing that?

“Like, what is the focus on Indonesia?”

And he just looked at him and goes,

“Indonesian people are
too poor to buy our products,

“so we want to increase
their economy enough,

“so they have enough
money to buy our products.”

So then they become our customers.

But you can see what he was saying was,

there needs to be
a fundamental level

of wealth for people
to be able to spend,

so we need to create essentially an economy

where people can spend
or people do not spend.

And it’s the same, the Japanese economy,

almost internally, functions
very similarly to that.

If people aren’t making enough
money, people do not spend.

People need to be rich enough to
spend money to increase the economy.

And if they do
that, then it will build

up and up and up,
it’s the reverse cycle.

of what I was talking about.

I am interested to see
over the next year or two,

how many companies
actually increase their wages.

‘Cause I honestly believe a
lot of them at this moment

cannot, it’s not that they
would, it’s just that they can’t.

And then going further from
that, going into the future,

how do they make sure that
people have enough money

so that they can spend money
to keep the economy going?

Because we gotta get, this
is like one step away from,

we have to just start giving
people money to spend.

Will that work? Probably not.

Because what’s gonna
happen is this generation’s like,

anytime I get extra money, I need
to put it away so that I can retire.

Which is one of the bleaker endings.

I usually end off in Indonesia, Japan,

with like a creepy guy story,
so I can make fun of him.

And sometimes it goes wrong and I
feel really bad at the end of the story,

but I mean, I’m
literally just talking

about the demise of
the Japanese economy.

You can see the solution
is actually increased wages,

but the reality is, most
companies probably can’t increase

wages, I think I just killed Japan.

(upbeat music)

[Music].

Raincoat Man

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A LOT of poop talk

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