I’m innocent

(upbeat music)

Okay, I’ve got a bit of
a new setup, so I have

to make sure, you know,
the mic volume is right.

I’m not hitting my P’s, the plosives
in the wrong spots and things like that.

But I think we’re okay,
so we’re gonna get started.

The boy who was in trouble last week,

17 year old Canadian
boy visits a temple in

Nara and decides,
“Hey, I have a good idea.

“I’m gonna take my fingernail,
I’m gonna carve my name.

into this temple from the year 710.”.

Which is just the dumbest thing you do.

My point last week was,

don’t carve your own name in it.

And then when they say
like, “Did you do this?”

They go, “No, no, that was some
guy called Justin Bieber, “not me.

“I think the kid’s name was Justin,

“so I guess I didn’t work
out if he put Justin in there.”

Ah, flaws everywhere, you gotta
think your plans through criminals.

So, what the temple decided
to do was put up a sign.

The sign is in English
and Japanese bilingual.

The problem is,

Canadian kids aren’t the only problem.

As we have the guy in Italy,
I forget where he was from,

there was a guy who was in Italy and he
carved his name into the call to see him.

His name was Ivan, but I don’t
wanna be so racist in the case.

I think he’s from Belarus, I don’t know.

Anyway, it doesn’t matter.

It’s not an exclusively Western
English problem to be dumb.

It is every country.

So you can’t put up the sign in every
country in every language from every country.

So,

the priest from the temple said, “In the
future we would like to use pictograms,

“so people from all over the world can
understand, “which I think is a great idea.”

It says, “What is the
pictogram for don’t be a moron?

“Don’t damage the site, don’t carve
your name “into ancient temples?”.

I would be mostly concerned about curses.

You go in there and you
put your name on something.

and you put your name on the wrong thing.

You’re cursed forever.

I mean, that’s the first issue.

So another reason death note wise
to put someone else’s name on it.

Don’t stick your own name in an ancient
temple on any document and anything.

Maybe that wall you’ve written
your name on is the curse wall.

You don’t know because you’re visiting
the temple ’cause you’re not an expert.

If you were an expert, you would know

not to put your name on the temple.

This is this shows how
nice Japanese Buddhist

or Chinto priests or
whatever they are were

is they said, “This was
done without malice.”

I actually kinda disagree.

I think the kid knew it was bad.

That’s why he did it.

It is still regrettable and sad.

In Japan, if you damage
ancient stuff, I’m trying to decide,

should I go through all the
rules and stuff or make up,

get it’s kind of used my own
natural speaking languages,

you know, break an old shit,

the breaking old shit
law can be 300,000 yen,

which, wow, a lot of money
isn’t that much money.

Or five years in prison, that’s
on the other hand, is a lot of time.

So you gotta be real careful.

where you stick your name.

Again, I would be less
concerned about 300,000 yen

and way more concerned
about a curse on my eternal soul.

(upbeat music)

All right, so this is actually a big story.

It came up like five, 10 times
in different feeds this week.

And it’s because it’s a big deal.

It is something that
everyone loves story wise.

Certainly you don’t want this to
happen to you or someone you know.

False accusations, false arrests,
accusations flying back and forth.

Oh, it’s terrible.

But it is like the whole
true crime genre is based on

how we like to watch horrible
things happen to other people

and like just sit back with the popcorn.

A man was wrongfully
arrested in a revenge porn case.

A revenge porn is like, I
get newbie pictures of you or

naughty pictures of you and
meet together or something.

And I say, we’ve, our
relationship is sourdad

and I’m going to post them on
the Internet just to get back at you.

That is illegal in Japan.

I think it’s probably illegal in most
places, Japan’s taking it pretty seriously.

I’m assuming because it must
have happened a lot already.

Well, how did we get here?

A guy was harassing a woman.

He was threatening to take nude pictures
of her and post them on the Internet.

Now the pictures that he
sent to her via her Instagram.

were photoshopped.

Apparently, well, I guess, you know,
and the average person doesn’t care.

So she went to the police and like this
guy threatening to put pictures on me.

There were different accounts, but it was
clearly all coming from the same person.

The, some of the accounts
used this guy’s family name.

So she said to the police,
“This guy is sending me stuff.”

The police didn’t do
a lot of investigation.

They arrested him really quickly.

Now they said, because
of the urgency of the

case, we did not have
time to check the IPs.

The thing is, in total, they
held this man for 40 days.

In Japan, you can be held for 20 some days.

by the police without
actually being charged.

What they do is they have,

oh, we have this accusation.

We’re gonna hold you for 20 some days.

I think it’s 24 because of days
off or weekends or something.

It’s an odd number.

It’s not a number you
expect, but I’m just

gonna use 20 ’cause
that’s sort of the base.

Then he gets released and
they grab him again pretty

quickly saying like, oh,
there’s another charge.

We’re gonna hold you.

So they held this man for 40 days.

The whole time he’s insisting is innocent.

The problem is what a criminal is due.

If they listen to an incident in Japan,

they’ve learned that what you
do is like insist your innocent.

Don’t confess, make
the police do their job.

Problem is, you’re actually innocent.

You’re doing exactly what the criminals do.

So I had no intention of
uploading any revenge porn.

I don’t have any newty pictures of her.

The person sending the threats.

That wasn’t me.

What would a criminal say?

That’s what the police
are looking at you going,

what would a criminal say
in the same situation, buddy?

Exactly what you just said.
So we’re holding you.

40 days.

The lawyers for the guy,
they’re pretty accurate.

They’re saying this is hostage
justice to coerce a confession.

So I’m being held for
day after day after day.

I’m gonna lose my job.

I’m gonna have all these other issues.

I have no recourse.

If I want to solve this to end this,

confession is the fastest way.

They’ve had multiple cases in
Japan of people who have confessed

to crimes they didn’t commit
because of this very action.

The lawyers saying like, this is unfair.

It’s inhumane.

What I have learned, though,
and this is the part I actually do

enjoy about the
ingenuity of Japan is what

the things I learn
about police and justice.

And something people
need to know is that the

rules don’t, your rules
from home don’t follow you.

I’ve talked to several
Americans who seem to

think that American
law is international law.

Like they’ll talk about like they
have to read your, your Miranda rights.

And I’m like, well, Miranda
isn’t a thing outside of America.

So Japanese cops don’t
read your Miranda rights.

They just actually grab you
and take you and hold you.

Again, they don’t have to
actually charge you with anything.

It could be an accusation or a suspicion.

And they are legally allowed to
hold you for the 20 X amount of days.

And then they can do that for each charge.

So then they let you go.

And then as you walk
out of the police station,

they pull you back in and go,
well, we’re going to hold you

for another 20 days for another
charge, another accusation.

If we have 15 20 accusations, we
can hold you for 15 20 times, 20 days.

We just have to keep like
going through that cycle.

They can essentially
arrest you for nothing

for years if they have
enough accusations.

Like let’s say each email is
an accusation in this case.

They could hold him for
20 days for each email.

Now it turns out while he was being
held or while he was in one place,

uh, information was being
sent from another place,

that’s how they
realized this isn’t the guy.

But again, that would have been sort
of the first thing you should have done.

That’s actually part of checking IP
addresses when it comes to Internet cases.

And if they had done that right away,
they wouldn’t have held him for 40 days.

Maybe they would have held him for the
first 20 and maybe you could justify that.

But the second 20 days, it
doesn’t really hold up anymore.

And what I’ve learned though
is you can get 1,000 to 12,500

yen a day for each day
you’re held by the police.

Like if you don’t get actually arrested
for a charged with an actual crime.

The man who was falsely
arrested is asking for a senior official

to explain to his family
and go to his work

and explain to his work why he was
basically missing from work for 40 days.

So like this isn’t covered
in your time off policy.

Uh, you could lose your job because
they actually need you to come and do work.

This is one of the problems.

Weirdly, the police have stayed,

and this is we don’t believe there was
any wrongdoing on the prosecutor parts,

which of course is how the police think,
which is maybe one of the big problems.

But that’s also the
way the laws are set up.

So very technically they
haven’t done anything wrong,

but they’re also not held responsible for
interfering within innocent person’s life.

A group of youths,
which is an excellent thing.

I don’t want to use a group.

I want to have like a gaggle, a gaggle.

What would you call it?

A group of youths?

Uh, I was all about to say a conundrum,

but that just implies certain negativity.

I actually think youths are great.

Um,

a joy of youths.

Oh, that sounds nice.

Anyways, uh, in Japan,
adulthood used to be 20.

It’s now been taken down to 18.

These youths are now saying, well,
the rules say that if I want to run for

government, I have to be 25
or 30 depends on the position,

but let’s use 25 as our low end
to be like a perfectural governor.

You have to be at least 30 years old to
run for mayor or something else or a local

election. You have to be at least 25.
He’s like, well, if we’re adults,

then we should have adult rights,
which would be running for office.

Uh, I’m all for this.

Ninja Ninja Japan, if you listen for any
amount of time, I have complained multiple

times that we have way too
many 70 year olds in charge.

Way too many people who don’t understand
sort of the modern aspects of life.

Because they’ve been in
politics for the last 50 years.

So they only see politics in a certain
way and anything that’s come up in the

last 20 years, they don’t even
like think about it or consider it.

I think those guys need to be out.
I think we need some fresh blood.

I think youth is the way to go.

Would I vote for an 18 year old?
Probably not.

So again, this is where it
becomes a fair system, though.

Like if community in general thinks 18
is too young to be mayor of the city or

governor of the prefecture,
then they won’t vote for them.

But if the 18 year old is convincing
enough, people will vote for them.

So I think absolutely led 18
year olds run for office any office.

If the world at large things are too
young, they’re not going to vote for them.

It works.

But this is should be a legal right.

So a legal right.

So they’re filing with
the Tokyo district court to

be allowed to run for
office, certainly in Tokyo.

And I am 100% on board.

I hope they’re successful.

This goes to like drinking laws and stuff.

Everything’s just to be established
either in adult or you’re not an adult.

So like America, you’re an adult
at 18, but you can’t drink until 21.

What the fuck?

That doesn’t make any sense.

If I’m an adult and I can drive a car
and I can buy a gun and I can join the

military and I can kill people
on behalf of the government, I

think I should be allowed to
have a cocktail after all that.

But yeah, apparently their laws are
different and they don’t make any sense

to me.
Of course, here’s the other side of youth.

It’s nice to have a
balance between stories.

I do enjoy that.

There were four boys with motorcycles.

They’re driving around.

They’re like, you know what?

This is not exciting enough.

One of the four boys
is like, let’s call the cops.

The driver, there’s like
three o’clock in the morning.

What the kids do in
Japan, they’re in like a gang.

They drive on the wrong side of the road.

They go through red lights and they’ll
do circles around the intersection and

block traffic and they’ll be they’ll
ride like four or five motorcycles wide

so that no one can get past them and
there’ll just be shitty to other drivers.

If they’re out at three
o’clock in the morning.

And they’re like, this is not enough.

We’re causing trouble, but we’re
not getting all the attention we need.

Certainly not the attention we should
have gotten when we were younger,

which would have stopped
this kind of behavior.

Let’s call the cops on ourselves.

Now I have in my many years now of doing
the introduced Japan talked about bad ideas.

Calling the cops on yourself
and not expecting to get arrested.

It’s just a bad idea.

It just doesn’t make sense.

It’s not the way the world works.

So they call the cops the cops
show up and they get arrested.

Well, they all admitted to the charges
and they said we wanted to get the

thrill of luring a police
car and being chased by it.

And I guess you got that.

I don’t know how much
of a car chase this was.

It sounds like they got
taken down pretty quick.

Although in the news story, they
maybe have just cut that part out.

But at the end of the day,

don’t call the cops on yourself.

I think might be this week’s Ninja
News Japan advice for criminals.

In Japan, motorcycle, bicycle, sorry.

We just talked about motorcycles.

Bicycles are classified as light vehicles.

And therefore they must have a
belt just like a car must have a horn.

You could be fined though.

Well, there are some rules about
the bicycle belt that I didn’t know.

This is why I’m putting out this is
almost like a public service announcement.

Bicycles, you can, so
you’re riding a bicycle,

you could be fined
for continuously ringing.

You are a bell.

It’s a violation to ring the bell for fun.

So if you’re just feeling joyous
riding your bicycle and you’re thinking,

ding, ding, ding, yeah, 20,000,
you had to find for you, bitch.

It is prohibited to ring the
bell to get people who are

walking out in front of you,
like pedestrians out of the way.

So you’re riding, you
could ding a link, excuse me,

so I am passing through
20,000 in for you, bitch.

The thing is, I didn’t know this
law before and I know it now.

And I, couple times a week, do
quite long walks and there are a lot of

grannies out there who
do a lot of bicycling on the

sidewalk and they really don’t
want you to be in their way.

They feel like the sidewalk is their
personal highway and they ring the

shit out of their bell and
I’ve just learned that they

ring the bell at me for walking
20,000 yen for you, bitch.

There’s going to be a lot of
20,000 yen fines coming up.

And you just look out for me, grandma.

I’m coming for you.

And that’s the way it’s going to be.

Actually, probably won’t.

I bet by the time I call them
is not a police won’t show up.

This might not be worth it, but
if there is ever a problem, 100%

I’m trying to try to get
old lady pay 20,000 yen.

Not to me, unfortunately, but I’ll
maybe I could do super damages.

They don’t really do that Japan.

It’s too bad.

What do you do when you’re feeling lonely?

When I’m feeling lonely, I
get my little friend here, Dave.

I scratch him and we snuggle.

And that’s that’s really what Dave’s
purpose is, is to make sure that I

don’t feel lonely and go off the rails and
maybe call emergency services 2,761 times.

So I’ve never called
emergency services in Japan.

I’ve never had to lucky me.

That just means I’ve had a lucky life,
but also means I’m not lonely and bored

and thinking like, how
can I entertain myself?

I could ride around a motorcycle at
three o’clock in the morning, call the cops

and get them to chase me, or
I could just sit and over a two

year, nine month period, call
emergency services 2,61 times.

This lady was very, she
said the reason she did it

was she was lonely and I
actually find that quite sad.

I feel a little bad for
the lady because yeah,

she’s, she’s resorted
to this to get attention.

She’s got nothing going on.

And that’s a sad situation.

She would call up the fire department
and say, I have a stomach ache.

I took a large dose of
medicine, my leg hurts.

And she would ask the fire
department to dispatch some Ambulae.

Then when the ambulance arrives,
she would claim she didn’t make the call.

We just started out with a
revenge porn story where an

innocent man was held by the
police and abused by the police.

But this is the opposite
where the police are quite nice.

So it’s really, it’s tough because
I do want to give a balance view.

Most cops that I’ve met, I’ve known,
I’ve dealt with, have actually been

really good people and I feel like
they would never falsely arrest me.

And they would do a proper investigation.

But of course, that’s not everybody.

In this case, she was warned several
times to stop calling emergency services.

And she kept doing it.

And that’s why she’s in trouble.

Did learn about a scam.

There’s a lot of scams targeting older
people and it’s usually on the phone.

And what they do is call you and
try to get you to transfer money,

trying to pretend to be
a relative or something.

But those guys, if they
work in an office, it’s

actually quite easy to
track where they are.

A computer and stuff, IP
addresses, much like again,

our first story of the
day with a revenge porn.

So how do you deal with that?

You get in a car and from eight
o’clock in the morning to 8 P.M. at night,

you stay on the highway and that makes
it much harder for the police to find you.

They can’t ping cell towers as quickly
and it’s, it’s, you keep on the move.

You’re hard to catch.

This is actually some smart criminally.

The problem is if you’re working in 12 hour
shifts, they don’t want to stop the car.

So you got four or five people in this car.

You’re in the car for 12 hours.

You’re driving along the road.

You are pooing and peeping, peeping
in that car, which is really gross.

So I, I mean, I was thinking
about there were 50 cases

involved, which are total about
94 million yen and damages.

So 94 million yen, they’ve
scanned out away from people.

Is that is everyone in the car
getting an equal share of that?

I bet not.

I bet there’s a boss taking majority of
it and he’s paying these guys a salary.

When they say crime doesn’t pay,
this is kind of what I’m thinking about.

How much money am I getting paid to be
in a car for 12 hour straight to pee in a

bottle and maybe poop in
a bucket or something with

other guys in the other
guys are doing the same thing.

So this car is rank by the end of the day.

It is not a place I want to be.

How much money would you have
to pay me for me to do that willingly?

It would have to be a lot of money.

And I bet these low level criminals
are not getting the pay they deserve.

Which is why they should do denies.

I don’t think that’s going
to work out for anybody.

So this is the last interesting story.

This is public policy.

The mayor of Osaka has put
into place or he voted in a place.

He put it up.

Proposally.

He proposed a rule change and he

said that the this is
a really ballsy move.

I kind of like this guy.

He said that government officials
should get a public review and that

public review if it’s low enough,
they should have a salary cut.

So I learned that the mayor of
Osaka makes a million yen a month.

That’s 12 million yen a year.

The average salary is four
to five million yen a year.

So he’s making three,
four times more than

the average salary by
being mayor of Osaka.

Now that it’s actually less than
I kind of would have expected.

But I’m assuming to
get to be mayor of Osaka.

You already have funds elsewhere like
campaign or your rich family or backgrounds.

A lot of political people in
Japan, they’re institutional.

So like their parents were politicians
and their politicians, that kind of stuff.

So the way it’s going to work is they’re
going to do a survey of 3,500 residents.

And if you get a low enough number,
you get a 30% decrease in your salary.

Now you’re still going to be making
way more money than the average person,

but at the same time,
a 30% cut in your salary.

That that sends a message to anybody.

The current mayor has overwhelming support.

So that’s probably why he’s pretty confident
about this, but again, could change.

So I found that an interesting thing.

I think it’s a really nice idea.

I was thinking the way to really
make this effective because again,

you can use American
politics as the standard version

of politics because it’s
in the news all the time.

And it’s all very rich people.

I think if you get low enough
numbers, you should actually have your

personal funds reduced by X
amount of money and put that in.

So like a Trump, let’s say he’s in
office, he gets very low numbers.

Boom.

X amount of money goes from his
personal accounts into just the tax system.

And he has to pay for
a system he doesn’t like.

So if it was a Republican
and they get a low

score, they have to
pay for social services.

If it’s a liberal.

conservative Republican and Democrat, whoo,
forgot the word Democrat for the second.

If it’s a Democrat and they get a low
score, they have to take money from

their personal life
and pay for the military.

Probably pay for some
cluster bombs or something.

That would give you, you would want
to keep everyone happy, which is what

the politicians are really
supposed to be doing in theory.

So I’m interested in how this works out.

Again, the just the straight up idea of
this guy doing this is pretty cool to me.

So we’ll see if it has an impact on
other aspects of politics in Japan.

I was hoping that’s hoping you
get a view of Dave on my lap.

The problem is, if I do this and you
can see Dave, then you can’t see me.

anymore.

Part of me thinks Dave is the far
more appealing member of this team.

So you’re here listening to my voice,
but just seeing the little sausage Dave

in his little burrito thing here
would probably be more appealing.

I would, I bet I would get more views.

Because this, I put
this on YouTube that the

podcast version
wouldn’t actually matter.

I probably get more views.

What you were seeing was this, just my
lame chest, the talking mouth at the top.

I actually might do that next week.

Give this a shot.

This might be my new format for YouTube.

Because you don’t see my head.

You just see my mouth talking.

And then you get to Dave here the
whole time because he’s just chilled out.

And if I, if I get him up and scratching
and stuff, it’s almost like SMR.

This might be my new, my new scheme,
my new plan, but then you can’t see the

Domo Coon up there, which is sort of the
secondary appeal of my desk at the moment.

I could move Domo Coon down here.

I mean, that’s empty space right now.

So certainly some things to think about.

I moved my desk around.

Just try to clean everything up.

New format would be pretty solid.

I think I might, I think I might really try
to capitalize on the Dave aspect of the.

Lost Dream Jobs

Okay, so we got almost the end of the Gassi saga.

So I keep saying I don’t want to talk about

Gassi anymore, but then something happens

that makes it vaguely interesting.

This time it’s pretty interesting.

And so the only final part will be if he

ever ends up back in Japan and actually has

like an interaction with the police.

So Gassi has been expelled from the government.

This is the first time this has happened in the last 72 years.

There were 236 votes cast, 235 people voted to get rid of Gassi.

The only holdout was a fellow party member,

which is pretty sad when you got like one

person who’s like standing up for you.

Then as soon as Gassi was expelled, the police went and started like putting

out warrants for his arrest.

The accusation is that he has swindled people

out of money claiming he could introduce

people to BTS.

So he’s running this kind of like weird, fame adjacent scam saying if you

give me X-Money Yen, I will introduce you to BTS.

On Thursday last week, police secured an arrest warrant for intimidating and

defaming celebrities.

So in a weird way, he was actually right.

He said, “I don’t want to come back to Japan because the police are going to

arrest me.”

We found out that if you are a member of the government and the government

is in session,

you actually can’t be arrested, which

I’m finding to be a very weird, weird rule.

Because government members… Check just

as if I call them bathrooms or washrooms.

I call them bathrooms.

I don’t know why, but yeah, I call them bathrooms.

In Japan, this is totally going to be off topic from the podcast.

In Japan, the toilets and the bathroom are separate rooms.

So in the West, when I had apartments and stuff, you would have like a

bathtub and a sink in a toilet all in one room.

I think that’s really, really normal.

That’s your bathroom.

In Japan, you have an actual room for just the bath and it’s got a shower

and the best part is you can spray water everywhere.

The whole room is the shower room.

Then in a separate room to that is a sink.

So that’s where you brush your teeth and stuff.

Then there’s a separate room that’s just a toilet.

In Japan, it makes way more sense to say toilet than bathroom because they

would actually different places in the house.

That’s a very valuable question though.

Do you call bathrooms washrooms?

I’ve said washrooms.

I think you say washrooms when you’re trying to be like more polite maybe.

So we found out that if you’re in the government, you cannot be arrested.

So as soon as the session was finished, as soon as the diet session was

finished, Gassy was going to get arrested.

So he was actually right.

And this was the most interesting bit to me is that he was right about what

he was saying.

They have confiscated his passport,

but they haven’t actually confiscated it.

They just nullified it because they didn’t take it away from it because they

didn’t see him.

And then they put him on the international wanted list.

So this got what I thought was going to be a weird little story about a guy

who was being

a politician from Dubai and is that going to work

out or not to now that he’s now an international.

criminal.

So when they see like when you watch a movie and they do interpool and they

have a list

and they have pictures of all the like

most wanted in the world, Gassy might be on

that now for realsies.

So he’s believed to have threatened three people and conducted one instance

of obstruction of business, which is Ninja News Japan’s favorite crime.

As we know, the party went from the anti-NHK

party to the politician girl’s 48 party.

They had a press conference with some of the

new members they were putting forward and

they’re all relatively attractive women.

So this is obvious their new platform and it makes it a little harder to

take them seriously as politicians.

The anti-NHK party was already a bit.

But now it’s like, oh, we’re just going to

put girls forward and see if you’ll just vote

for girls.

And since this is a real political party and with real reporters, the

reporter has asked

a couple like fairly not like hard-hitting

questions, but asking about taxes.

The lady politician they put forward goes, oh, that’s a tough question.

I’ll pass.

Getting sort of the level of quality of the politician they’re putting up.

I mean, it has nothing to do with gender.

It’s just they’re trying to use gender to get seats.

It’s dumb.

I mean, let’s face it, this whole party now is just one of the dumbest

things I think I’ve seen in Japan.

And yet weirdly, because they’re putting up a bunch of girls, it’s probably

going to work.

In 2022, so last year, 3.997 billion yen was turned into the police

lost and found in Tokyo.

Not all at once.

This is the entirety of the year.

So it could have been like 10,000 yen at the time.

3.997 billion yen, again, you do the quick math.

It’s like $4 million.

We’re actually lost and turned into the police.

So people in Japan, this is actually saying like, if you are going to drop

your wallet or

going to drop money anywhere in the world, Japan’s a pretty good place to do

it because they’re not just going to leave it there.

They’re going to pick it up and they’re

going to take us as a cops and turn it into

the cops.

We’ll try to get it back to you.

On that point, police managed to return 2.95 billion yen.

So let’s say it was $4 million, they managed to return about $3 million.

So there’s still a million dollars that essentially went missing because of

lost items.

The unclaimed money, so after the year, they hold it for an X amount of time

and then they just like, well, it’s our money now.

That claims money gets turned into the metropolitan government.

So if you lose your money in Japan, in Tokyo specifically, I guess, in this

case, and someone turns it in and

you don’t claim it, they don’t get it back.

The person who found the money doesn’t get to keep the money.

The money goes to the metropolitan government which is kind of a shaft.

I think I should get the money.

If I found the money and I’m a good person,

I turned it in and gave me the money.

I’m okay with that.

There were 3.43 million lost items turned in last year.

And that is up 21% for 2021.

Now, of course, last year we were in the throes of COVID.

It actually, the numbers have gone way down last yesterday.

They had 2,600 cases of COVID in Japan, the country.

And that is great because I used to be just one or two cities would have

that many easily.

So it’s not finished, but it has gone

way, way down, which I’m very happy about.

So this actually demonstrates the 21% increase of lost items and people

turning them into the

police means there are more people just doing stuff because you have to be

out of your house.

If you’re in your house all the time, you’re not really losing stuff and if

you do lose something in your house, it’s not getting turned into the cops.

So that’s neat because basically COVID meant there was less things lost and

less things turned into the police.

From 2015 to 2019, it was about 4 million items a year.

So Ron Track, weirdly, for pre-pandemic numbers of lost items in Tokyo for

the year, which is a good thing.

Oh, so they do this every year.

They do a survey of what kids want to be when they grow up.

And it’s always a bit shocking because of the attitude of children.

It’s always really weird because it’s Japan

and different countries because you ask a

kid where they want to be.

What did I want to be when I was a kid?

I wanted to be like space ranger.

I actually for years and years and years want to be a truck driver.

I really like trucks.

I think cowboy and cop were in there for a while.

They do this in Japan.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Boys uniformly want to be company employees.

Now last time I did this, which was last year I was making fun of because it

was like, hey little boy, what do you want to be when you grow up?

I want to be a businessman.

A businessman.

I want to be a businessman.

It’s a really weird thing to want to be because again, little kid’s concept

of businessman is not very realistic.

But junior high school and high school girls

also just wanted to be company employees.

Between elementary and middle school girls, they wanted to be manga artists,

which is pretty cool.

It’s artistic.

Scholar entered the top 10 for boys who were in high school in junior high

school and girls in high school.

I honestly don’t really know what a scholar is.

I guess that’s just like a lifetime student.

What is a scholar?

Because I think you have to be more specific.

But together young, their kids in high school and stuff, they might not

really know what scholars are.

I don’t.

I’m 50.

I have no clue what a scholar would be.

And that’s not really a job, is it?

I guess professor at university is, which is scholarly.

I’m not sure.

The comments on the Internet were interesting because some were lamenting

the lack of aspirations.

Because it’s like, when I was young, I wanted to be a rock star.

I wanted to be the number one.

I wanted to go to the Olympics.

I wanted to be the best dude in the world at something.

And they’re saying these Japanese

kids, they don’t have those kind of dreams.

They have, I want to find a good solid company and hunker down and be a

company employee for 40 years.

And then I want to retire and have no drama in my life.

And it’s not exciting and it’s not interesting.

But then a whole bunch of other people were saying, like, is it better to

have a dream that’s unattainable versus a dream that you could actually get?

So like, my real dream when I was younger was to be a writer.

I wanted to write novels.

I wanted to write books.

I wanted to do, you know, I wanted to

be like a cliche, pretentious artist type.

I wanted to write.

And I’ve always, I actually now, over the last decade or so, I actually have

done a lot of writing.

I’ve done writing.

I’ve written articles and stuff.

I did games, journalism, I did stuff like that.

Last year, I did Montana LDablo, which was a choose your own adventure,

which is something that had been in the back

of my head for years and years and years.

So I have achieved that goal, but not, of course, the way, the way you think

of it as a kid is I’m going to write books

and becoming internationally famous.

And like, people are going to want to get with me because I’m so smart and

artistic and famous.

But that’s not actually the reality.

A working writer though, I would be happy with that job.

So this is realistically a very attainable job.

So is that a bad thing?

Like you could grow up.

Oh, wait, wait, the whole point is I failed.

I never became the famous writer that I wanted to be.

The last episode of “Seeming Be,” I actually

talked about some of my exploits into trying.

to become a writer and the sheer volume of rejection you have to go through

to not succeed in the end is pretty hard.

Yeah, a lot of other people on the Internet when they were commenting on

this article, what

they were saying was like, isn’t it better to have a dream you could

actually achieve and then achieve your dream?

Because you get that sort of sense of accomplishment, like you’ve done the

thing you set out to do,

isn’t that better than saying, I want to

be a rock star and I can’t because there’s

so few people actually end up succeeding in their desires to be famous.

So I’m a little torn because I think young people should be aspirational.

But having an element of reality in there, so maybe I want to be a musician,

but you need if you understand what a working

musician is, like you make jingles for

commercials, you

do background music for videos and stuff, understanding the reality of it

means you could

get a job doing something you like, but realistically, I think would be

pretty appealing.

Because I did games journalism and it actually was, it had really good

points and really

bad points, but I was doing, I was playing video games and I was writing

which are two things I love to do.

I would be very happy to do that for the rest of my life.

And yeah, I’m not going to be like super famous

or international or anything, but it would

be a low key constant satisfaction, which I

think is what people sort of don’t think about.

It’s like, do I want to be super, super successful or nothing or would I

like to be happy, maybe to a lesser degree forever?

So Prime Minister Kishito, we’ve talked about birth rates in Japan.

The last year they had less than 800,000 babies.

It is the lowest number of babies born in

the country in years and years and years.

I think since World War II, since they actually started keeping track.

So this is a really big problem.

Because the population of the country, it just keeps diminishing.

So you have old people dying, you have not

enough babies being born to replace them.

That’s actually bad for the economy, it’s bad for the country, it just means

your culture may disappear.

So slowly Japanese people are going extinct.

And then you’ve got foreigners like me coming in and making half babies.

Oh my God, that’s not cool.

So Kishito sat down, he said, we have a plan.

We’re going to make a plan for increasing the birth rate.

And it’s going to be assistance to employers who encourage male staff to

take child care leave.

Last year, 14% of the people who were eligible to take child care leave

actually took it.

So most men in Japan traditionally don’t

take any time off when they have a baby.

But they’re thinking, we make them or help them take more time off.

They’ll be more likely to have a baby to share that sort of burden.

More support for freelancers and self-employed workers.

So yeah, if I am self-employed and I have to take off six months to a year

to have a baby

and raise the baby for the first year, I’m

not working that entire period which makes

I have zero income for that time.

Very going to inhibit my desire to have a baby.

What I wrote in my notes and my kind of point from the beginning has been

this doesn’t help you get people making babies.

This supports people who have babies.

So what are they actually going to do to get people to actually have babies

in the first place?

Because really the problem is people, modern people, and modern society do

not find the idea of having children appealing.

Because I don’t make enough money.

I can’t support myself.

I can’t support a family.

So it’s better for me to remain single.

And this has been going around for a long time.

So what they need to do, when I’ve said this a bunch of times, I’m actually

thinking of like not talking about this as much now.

What they need to do is actually change the entire culture of Japan so that

work is not at the forefront of everyone’s lives.

And that is going to be, I think, an impossibility.

And it’s the one thing they refuse to talk about.

Because men and women need time to spend

time with each other, to date, to go out, to

form a relationship so that they can then

get involved enough to actually want to have

a baby in the first place.

And all these financial systems and stuff.

These are great after you’ve had the baby.

But you have to put people in a position where they want to get together to

have a baby in the first place.

And that is the one thing they don’t want to talk about.

Because that would mean we don’t work 12 hour days anymore.

We don’t dedicate our entire lives to the

company like Japan has since World War II.

We change contract types so that people get

more free time and deep prioritizes work,

which is 100% against the current Japanese philosophy of life and existence.

Tattoos.

So I have a couple of tattoos.

I have one on my shoulder, one on my back, but they’re very small.

And that means that I cannot go to a public pool.

I cannot go to a public onsen with my tattoos exposed.

So I just wear one of those swimming jackets, rash guard things.

And they’re covered so no one says anything.

It’s fine.

Because you can actually tell there’s

the guys walking around with rash guard on.

Like I probably has tattoo.

So a survey was done should tattoos be allowed in hot Springs.

So again, if I go into a hot spring, if it’s public, I’m actually not

allowed to go in with a tattoo on my shoulder because everyone can see it.

It basically changes by age.

So younger people are more accepting.

Older people are just 100% against it.

But 43.9% say that tattoos should be 100% banned.

If you have a tattoo, you shouldn’t be

allowed to bathe in an onsen in a hot spring.

33.7% say it should be handled case by case.

So I’m a foreigner.

I have tattoos.

And they’re very small.

That clearly shows that I am not a Yakuza, which is what this is all about.

This is all about the Yakuza showing their gang affiliation.

And I’m clearly not affiliated, certainly not with a Japanese gang.

And my tattoos are not like the full body one.

So they don’t have the same sort of impact or feeling.

And I think as soon as people see that I’m a foreigner, they’ll think, “Oh,

it’s just a fashion thing for foreigners.”

So they’re saying like, “Yeah, so if I come in and I have a tattoo, it

should be okay.”

But if a Yakuza comes in and he’s got the

full body thing, that should not be okay.

22.5% say hot Springs need to change with the times.

Which I think is actually pretty sensible.

And you know, most of the 22.4% who said that were really young people who

are probably getting tattoos themselves.

Well, this was actually, I don’t know if other people would care about this.

You can see, if you watch the video, if you watch the YouTube video, you can

see in the background I have a chin up bar.

I haven’t been using it lately because I hurt my shoulder in judo.

But it is something I’ve always, as an exercise, I’ve always enjoyed it.

And I’ve always enjoyed it because if I’m

ever hanging off a cliff, I want to be able

to pull myself up physically so that I can climb up the cliff.

So at the end of an action movie when someone’s hanging, you know, if you’re

not physically strong enough to pull yourself up, that’s when you die.

Whereas I want to be the guy who like pulls

himself up really impressively in one go.

So I’ve always enjoyed chin ups.

This guy named Kenta Adachi, he works for the Japanese Coast Guard.

He’s 35 years old.

He has taken the world record for dead hang.

So it’s like you get on the chin up bar, you hang with both hands, you just

hang there for as long as possible.

Previously, a Norwegian guy did it for 16 minutes and three seconds.

I think I maxed out once at five minutes.

So maybe with training, I could actually get it, but I’m a big dude.

So it might be harder for me.

I’m not sure.

That was back in 2020.

So Adachi came in and he’s like, I’m going to kill this record.

Oh my god, did he kill it?

Not only did he beat 16 minutes, he did one hour and 20 minutes and 41

seconds.

So he took it, took the 16, beat it by four minutes and then put another

hour on top of that, which to me seems inconceivable.

But this guy is also holding the world record for the most consecutive chin

ups, which is 651.

So he now has two world records.

I mean, very related, obviously his upper body strength is off the charts.

Either that or he’s incredibly light.

I don’t know which is, which is probably both.

He’s probably a very svelte man, but with massive shoulders and chest.

But good on him.

I mean, he didn’t just beat that record.

He absolutely destroyed it.

And I will, after this podcast, go and try

to see how long I can do a dead hang for.

I mean, there’s so much shoulder.

I’m assuming it’s only going to be like eight seconds.

A woman thinks that her boyfriend is cheating on her.

I did enjoy the word thinks.

Not there was any proof.

She just suspected her boyfriend was cheating on her.

So she calls her friend, a guy friend.

And then the guy friend comes over with two

other guy friends and they call the girl’s

boyfriend to the girl’s apartment and he shows up.

And then they threaten him with a knife.

They punch him in the face.

They handcuff him.

They say, let’s go to the bank and get some money out.

And then they take his keys and they take his Lamborghini.

That’s a lot.

Like, there’s accusations and there’s confrontational behavior.

But we think you’re cheating on our friend.

We’re going to beat you up and take all your stuff.

I think there’s only reason I found this interesting is because that’s not

going to fix it.

Like, okay, you guys need to break up.

That’s one thing.

But we’re going to steal all your stuff and

now I’m going to go to prison for years.

That is a disproportionate response to the issue at hand.

And I think maybe that’s why I found that one is interesting it is.

Also they took a guy’s Lamborghini.

There’s no way Lamborghini is a standout.

There’s no way you’re going to be driving

that around and the cops don’t figure out.

It’s the stolen Lamborghini.

Okay, and this is the last ones for all the creepy dudes who have this like,

a lot of weeb sensibilities about Japan.

Japan’s changing and all you weeb dudes may not be as welcome as you think

you are anymore.

Japan is raising the age of consent from 13 to 16 and recognizing coercion

without violence.

So since 1907, the age of consent in Japan has been 13 years old.

And it’s never in the last 20 years I’ve been in Japan.

It’s not actually been accepted like if I talk to a 13-14 year old and they

agree to do it, it’s still not okay.

So everyone kind of socially knew this wasn’t cool.

But I do remember a few sort of weird nerdy

dudes online using this as a justification

for coming and trying to hit on basically kids.

But then of course they’re the kind of people who never actually leave their

basements.

So they never actually come to Japan.

They just use it as a justification for their own perverted desires.

Baby is going to be defined by more than just violence.

So previously, if a man raped a woman and

the woman didn’t fight back, it wasn’t rape.

And it’s really disturbing.

So basically if I drugged a girl or I got a girl really, really drunk and I

got in a position

where she didn’t fight back physically,

then a court would not call that rape.

They would say that she knew she was drinking.

I could maybe say that I didn’t know there were drugs and she was accepting.

There were a lot of excuses that could come up.

And that has been now been taking into account.

So coercion without violence is now included under sort of the rape clause.

I think they might actually be changing, you know, the word rape in Japanese

is being redefined.

So violence is not the sort of defining factor of what a rape is.

So if you use alcohol drugs or power.

So if I’m in your boss and you feel like

you have to do it or if I’m in like, I’m.

really rich, dude, any sort of position where it’s like power harassment,

that is now going

to be classified as rape in Japan, which is actually a really good thing.

They’ve also started looking at other stuff like circulating images online.

So revenge porn or taking up skirt photos,

which is a really common problem in Japan.

That used to be you get in trouble, but you didn’t go to jail because it

wasn’t technically illegal.

It’s sort of like taking pictures in public,

but then there’s privacy issues in Japan.

It’s very big on privacy.

So I’m surprised this one went for as long as it did.

If I take pictures, that’s illegal, but if I circulate them online, that’s

double illegal.

So I get two illegal things in one go.

And that’s actually one of the things they’re trying to really, really crack

down on is these guys who are creepy and stuff, sharing them is maybe worse.

And at first, I was worried about Ninja News Japan because I need to get all

these news stories so I can do the content.

But now if there are more arrests, it means more creepy, weird stories will

actually come out.

Because right now, there’s a whole bunch of people they get in trouble, they

get caught by the police, but it’s not technically illegal.

So we don’t hear all the details, so we don’t actually get the story.

So now, I think we’re going to have more crimes come to the forefront, which

means more content for Ninja News Japan.

So at least for a little while, I think we’re going to be getting a lot more

really creepy dude news.

But let’s face it, if you come to listen to Ninja News Japan, that’s

probably what you’re coming to listen for.

You creepy, creepy weirdo.

[MUSIC].

Olympig

The Olympig, a representation of everything that is wrong with Japan. Coupled with yesterday’s episode, I think you might see my point.

Also, people filming sex, pulling knives on cops and a lot of bad decisions.

Subscribe https://link.chtbl.com/2fBCyWGa

Also, leave a question or comment at https://www.speakpipe.com/VelociPodcast

Go to just stay home

I make one of the few corrections I will ever make in this episode. Not because I don’t make mistakes, but because I refuse to admit I made mistakes, but since I found my own mistake, damn it is hard to argue with myself.

The Japanese government pushes forward with a series of bad ideas and starts pretending everything is going to be fine. Some people got scammed and someone needed to be a little quieter about their mary jane operation.

Question or comment https://voicelink.fm/velocipodcast

Subscribe https://link.chtbl.com/2fBCyWGa

NNJ 127 Garbage Bomb Pick up artist

Plastic is under attack in Japan, along with people who work at Konami. 

Maricar is in dire straits and Mistress scams don’t seem to be working out for anyone.

Finally, the worst pick up artist? I don’t know if tire slashing is considered negging.

Question or comment https://voicelink.fm/velocipodcast

Subscribe https://link.chtbl.com/2fBCyWGa