Johnny Somali – NinjaNewsJapan

How to make friends

I was trying to get
organized, I got, uh,

Dave has been very
problematic lately, so he’s

sitting here, um,
he’s quiet now, but I’m

expecting this to be a
problem sooner or later.

British fashion label, super dry.

And then, because I’ve been doing K-pop
bands with my daughter, uh, I keep going.

Super dry, super dry,
super dry, super dry,

super dry, which is not,
this long is super shy.

It’s about a girl who loves a boy,
it’s a pretty standard K-pop thing.

Uh, I am just getting over my sickness.

I am no longer down with the sickness,
or maybe I am down with the sickness.

I’m not down with the sickness.

I just gotta settle my mind.

That’s what’s happening.

At the beginning of the
show, I should do this

before the show starts,
but I don’t because

I start the show, and then I’m
like, “Well, let’s get into the mode.

” And the mode
should already be there.

British fashion label,
super dry, is sitting

Manchester City Soccer Club
because of a logo for a sponsor.

Now, they have their
logo, super dry, um,

and Manchester City
Soccer Club is sponsored

by a Japanese beer
called Assahiz super dry.

They are arguing that
the average consumer

could confuse the brands, and
this is copyright infringement.

The irony being, super dry,
the clothing label came second.

So Japanese beer brand, Assahiz super dry,
has been around for a very, very long time.

Super dry, the clothing brand, not as much.

Super dry, the clothing brand, because they
use a lot of Japanese style graphics, which

I’m pretty sure they’re stealing those,
they’re using bad Japanese on their shirts,

and their defense for that is that will
Japan use as bad English on their shirts.

So it’s clear that
super dry, the clothing

brand has lifted, borrowed,
been inspired a lot

by Japanese brands.

And if that is the case, that
means they’re in a Japanese culture.

If you’re in a Japanese
culture, Japanese

beer, Assahiz super dry is
probably the most famous beer.

So I think this might be a court
case that is actually in bad faith.

I think when Manchester
City got the sponsor

Assahiz super dry,
super dry, the clothing

brand went like, hey,
if we sue them, that’ll

get our name in the
news and people will

look at our clothes and will
basically be free advertising.

It won’t go anywhere.

I don’t think this is going anywhere
because I don’t think they have a case.

Is this a case of just getting in the news?

And here’s a second, interesting question.

If you sue someone,
and it’s relatively basis,

and the judgment comes
down that it’s baseless,

and then basically they
don’t have to pay you

anything, should there
be something, based

I’m saying, should there be some sort
of punishment for a frivolous lawsuit?

I don’t know this is frivolous,
but I get the odd feeling.

It is frivolous because
if I stole my entire

identity from another
culture and then that other

culture sponsor something, the thing
is the logos don’t even look similar.

As a he super dry, the logos
are not the same style of writing.

The shirts just say Assahiz
and then in quotes, they say dry.

So it doesn’t actually
say super dry in the shirts.

Now I tried to look up this year’s shirts,
and then when I looked up this news story

it had shirts in it, and none
of them actually said super dry.

So the logo
complained, the copyright

infringement they’re
talking about doesn’t seem

to exist because if the
shirts by Manchester

City don’t say super
dry, then how can that

be confused by the average consumer
for the super dry clothing brand?

It can’t, which is again
another reason why I

think this might be
just a frivolous lawsuit

to get super dry, which is a much smaller
brand than Assahiz super dry into the news.

And I like them less.

I mean I didn’t really care about
them before, but now I like them less.

So fuck you super dry, I bet
that really hurt their image.

Tiny podcast shouting
fuck you into the ether.

Go from super dry to
super dominator, that

is not actually a good
transition, but super

dominator is not the hero created by a 13
year old who’s got extra time in a class.

Super dominator is a citizens
arrest YouTuber in Japan.

I have noticed that
a lot of citizens arrest

YouTubers, YouTubers in Japan, they
use goofy superhero sounding names.

But super dominator clearly was going
for an image of being a big tough dude.

He clearly does some
jujitsu or something

because what he does,
his whole shtick on his

YouTube channel is he
hunts down people who are

taking up skirt photos or
lawyers or something like that.

And then he grabs them
and the video I saw he

wrestled the guy to the
ground and he’s trying

to make sure the guy
can’t delete his whatever

video he took on his
phone and he wrestles

the guy to the ground
and he holds him there

and then the police
show up and he turns

him over to the police and then they follow
the guy getting taken to the police and

then they take great joy in the fact
that they’ve made the world a better place.

Well, it turns out that
super dominator isn’t

as quite the hero as
he made himself out

to be if you can believe it,
which I absolutely can believe it.

I think all these like
citizens arrest YouTubers,

which was honestly not
a genre of entertainment

I had known about
before doing these stories.

It was a couple months ago we had the other
citizens arrest YouTuber who kept arresting

people who were innocent, which sort
of puts a bit of a damper on your career.

All of these guys are
turned out to not be the

noble heroes they’re
making themselves out to be.

They’re all lying and cheating.

This guy super dominator was no
better than any other rest of them.

So what he did is
he told his girlfriend

that he had adult onset stills disease,
which is a very rare inflammatory disease.

And he said he needed the 30
million yen to pay for the treatment.

I don’t know how much he
was making up his YouTube

channel, but it was a pretty
big channel when it was going.

His girlfriend gives
him 2.5 million yen, so

that’s like a half year salary
for the average Japanese person.

She gives him 2.5 million yen.

Then after a while she starts to get
suspicious because he has no symptoms.

If you have a rare inflammatory
disease, you have issues.

I get inflammation all the time.

I have to go get steroids for it.

It hurts.

You can tell when I’m not in good shape.

His girlfriend gets suspicious.

She calls the police.

I’m a police arrest him for fraud.

And when he’s being
questioned by the police,

he says I spent the
money on entertainment.

So it turns out that super
dominators, just a super piece of shit.

Johnny Somali.

Last week, I promised that because we were
doing an episode the day before his trial

ended, and the trial ended,
and we now have the results.

Now, we haven’t heard anything
from Johnny Somali himself.

I haven’t really looked out because I
don’t care about the guy very much.

He’s a nuisance streamer.

We go over his crimes against humanity.

He’s an asshole.

We’ve just got a whole
bucket of assholes today.

That seems to be what we’re dealing with.

That would be the
episode title, but I would

actually not fly well on some of the
channels where I post the podcast.

Johnny Somali, the
gentleman was handed down.

So this was for one of
the times he did his stream.

He went into a restaurant and then his chat
would do alerts or sounds or things like

that, and they would set off
his phone and say awful things.

That was primarily it.

It might be text to speech or whatever.

He claimed that because he
wasn’t setting it off himself,

that he was not responsible
for it, that was his defense.

Pretty weak defense because this was
all going through his phone that he owned.

He had set up to stream in whatever, so he
clearly had full control over the stream.

And primarily the most
important thing to me

is he had control over
the volume of his phone.

So even if he wanted
to keep his stream going,

which is still probably
illegal in Japan,

he could have turned it down so he wasn’t
harassing or bothering the other patrons.

That’s the main issue that was at hand.

The judge is like,
nah, you clearly could

have turned your
phone off you little prick.

So the judgment is to hit my
keyboard when I flicked my notes.

The judgment is 200,000 yen,
so that’s not very much money.

It’s like $1,000.

When he left, he claimed he
would not make videos in the future.

So I’ve seen a lot of people go off
on this, like, $2,000 bucks is nothing.

He probably made more
than $1,000 on that stream.

The case against him for
trespassing was dropped.

They should have taken all the filmed
evidence and thrown them together.

They didn’t have to.

Now this is the bit.

Japanese courts are weirdly not punitive.

So when people sue
each other and stuff, you

get the money, but you
don’t get like millions of dollars.

So in America when you win a lawsuit,
you get millions of millions of dollars.

In Japan, when you
want win a lawsuit, you

get probably the money you
would have lost in nothing extra.

So like the emotional pain you feel
does not get compensated in Japan.

I sometimes agree with it sometimes.

I don’t.

It depends on the case.

That’s always the
problem because it is case

by case, but Japan
airs on the side of courts

should not be used to
be punitive in a weird way.

So what’s going to happen
now is actually the issue.

So a lot of people are like,
well, they should have taken

all those cases and thrown
them in prison and stuff.

Japan doesn’t want to pay for this guy
to be in prison because it costs money.

So why would we take
the responsibility on is

the way the Japanese
government is thinking about it?

He needs to be convicted of one crime.

That’s it.

And the smallest crime
they can convict him

on is enough for the
domino effect of results.

The domino effect of results
are that he is committed

to crime in Japan, which
means he will now be deported.

Now his visa had already
expired, but because

he was being held
by the police, they’re

not going to punish him for overstaying his
visa, which was one of the things that was

kind of, so since he’s
committed a crime in

Japan, they’re going to
essentially deport him.

Probably have to pay for it himself.

But if not, they’ll just set him on
an airplane and don’t worry about it.

And then he will be tagged
as unable to reenter Japan.

So you know when you
fly into another country,

if you’ve ever done that before,
there’s a little immigration thing.

And on the immigration thing, there’s a
little box and you have to tick that box.

If you’ve ever been
convicted of a crime,

Johnny Somali now has to check that
box, which means he will hit immigration.

Let’s say he somehow
gets on an airplane

that goes to Japan and
no one realizes who he

is, he gets to Japan
and he clicks that box.

That means in
immigration, they’re going to

be like, hey, you’ve
committed a crime, give

us the details, the details where I
was convicted for public harassment.

He was actually convicted
of, last week I was

saying we didn’t have
enough of these, obstruction

of business, obstruction
of business is bad, baby.

He was convicted of obstruction of
business for being a public nuisance.

That means he’s going to be denied entry.

He probably being
Johnny Somali would be

like, ha ha, I’ll be really smart
and I won’t take that box.

That is a crime in itself.

And there’s no, there’s no way around it.

Like as soon as they
find him, they’ll be

like, hey, you immigrated, you
filled out this form incorrectly.

That is a much, much more serious crime.

Like that’s like a no
fly list, you’re going

to get your passport
taken away kind of crime,

which means he wouldn’t be
able to go to any other country.

This is a guy whose
deal is going to another

country and harassing
the locals and he picks

Japan because he
thought Japan was safe in

Japan is safe because
this punishment is quite

minor, but the gap
Japanese government in the

Japanese judicial system is just like, well,
we’re going to take that away from you.

And as far as they’re concerned,
they’re like, now you can’t do that.

That’s enough.

Go to another country,
try again, but other

countries are going to
be way more punitive.

So in a way, if he’s
smart, he will have

learned his lesson, but the first part
of that sentence was if he’s smart.

And the one thing the man has clearly
demonstrated is he’s not very smart.

He is not learned his lesson.

He’s not going to learn less.

He’s going to try to find another
way to come back to Japan.

That now should he enter reenter Japan
probably will end up being a crime in itself.

If he goes to another country, he’s
going to fuck around and find out.

I’m pretty sure other
countries are going

to be far, far worse for his
well-being than Japan was.

So I think for the
moment the saga of Johnny

Somali has ended in Japan, it
might pick up somewhere else.

If I do hear about him
somewhere else, I will

mention him, but it’s not
Japanese relevant news anymore.

So it doesn’t really
belong in the engineers,

Japan, but at the same time,
he made his name in Japan.

So he’s Japan famous.

The real question though,
is this just where his career

ends, which I actually
would put money on yes, it is.

But then again, he’s so dumb.

He’s in that category of people too
dumb to give up when they’re ahead.

I don’t make friends easily,
I just put myself out there.

Let’s open my heart.

Let’s take the little
case, the little box

off my heart and just expose
it to the world for a moment.

I don’t make friends
quickly or easily.

I can be quite off-putting, I
can be sarcastic, I have a wall up.

I think a lot of us do, I think a lot of
us, we don’t get close and we don’t share.

The true selves, our
true selves, our intimate

selves with each other and that’s
why it’s really hard to make friends.

So we don’t know how to make friends.

Maybe that’s the issues.

Again, I need to be a manly man.

I grew up in a very toxic
masculinity background.

So then I was like, okay,
well, how do you make friends?

I went on Wikihao, I wasn’t very helpful.

So what I’ve learned from a
story this week is what you do.

You put on your best
black stockings and you

go to the convenience
store in about four

or thirty in the morning
and then you walk

around for a bit and
you check out the clerk

and you go, the clerk seems like a guy.

He seems like he and I could be friends.

That seems like a pretty good deal.

Let’s do that.

Then you turn yourself so that your butt
is aiming generally in the direction of the

clerk and you bend over, you bend over and
then you start wiggling your hips and after

you wiggle your hips, it becomes sort of
revealed that there is a slit up the middle

of your stockings and
everyone being the single

clerk in the convenience
store at four thirty

in the morning can see
your butt and then the

clerk calls the police
and you get arrested.

It turns out when this
man was arrested, he said

to the police, this is
exactly what happened.

A guy put on stockings,
goes to the convenience

store at four thirty in the morning,
walks around the store for a bit.

The clerk is stuck at the front
where the register is at the counter.

He stands in front of
the counter, bends over

and starts wiggling
his butt and then a slit,

I assume was pre-cut or it was that
tight and his butt was just that powerful.

The slit started to
reveal his butt, he calls

the police, guy gets
arrested and he says

to the police, I thought we could
become friends by showing my butt.

So I gave it a shot and maybe I see I think
that last line is actually that last part.

The second part, that’s
the part we don’t do,

give it a shot, but also
maybe your instincts

are all wrong and you’re
a bad person and you

should not be showing
your butt to anybody.

This is a secondary part.

Some poor animator had to do this.

On the news report,
they decided to animate

this whole thing, like the
description wasn’t enough.

So I’m going to throw
this up in the background

of the, when I talk about it, but for
people on YouTube, you want a full version.

So here’s the guy
walking against four thirty

in the morning, this is the computer
generated convenience store.

He says he’s wearing
black stockings, he walks

to the front, he’s like,
hey, what’s this over here?

I’m going to take a look and
then zoom in, the poor register

guy, he’s like, I got damn,
look at that guy’s butt.

It’s 24 years old, does
not want to be here,

this won’t this be his life and then the
guy starts moving his butt back and forth.

Someone had to animate his butt moving
back and forth is one of my favorite things

in all over the world
and of course they can’t

show the slit of the butt so
you can actually see his butt.

I’ll tell you, not a
lot of things in life

make me happy, but that
made me pretty happy.

So let’s get on to our
last story, I just wanted

everyone to join that
and it’s full version,

I’m going to put it up here in the corner
for everyone else, but that gave me a great

deal of satisfaction.

I suppose our previous guy could have been
our gross guy, he was 48, so he doesn’t fit

my rule of like 50 plus year old
men being gross and disgusting.

But what we do have
is a very interesting

final story of a 62 year
old man in the Goya.

He was arrested for
obstruction of business,

obstruction of business
goes away, but when

it comes back, it comes
back strongly, two or three.

The day is basically just all crimes, it’s
just all crimes, there’s no other stories.

He decided it would be appropriate.

One of the things you
hear about Japanese is

that people politely
fall the rules and that’s

a good thing, following
the rules is good.

This guy calls the police and he says the
police, you know what, be okay if I killed

my wife and then they don’t
give the rest of the conversation.

I want to know if the
police tried to talk them

down or what happened,
but the police clearly

figured out where he lived, probably
they just back traced his phone call.

The police knew where he was, so the police
show up at his house and they’re like,

“Hey, remember that phone call
when you say you’re gonna kill your wife?

We’re here to make sure you don’t do that?”

So the guy’s like, “What’s
the most reasonable

response I could have
to the police showing

up in my house
telling me not to kill my

wife when I just called them and asked
if it was acceptable if I kill my wife?”

That would be, of course,
to brandish a knife at them.

He was arrested, turns
out, you’ll never guess.

He had been drinking.

60-year-old man was
drunk, I don’t know,

probably he’s got a
frustrated with his wife

and sarcastically called
the police and asked

if he could kill her
or something, but then

when they showed up, he
was like, “Actually angry.

” When he got arrested,
he said, “I got irritated,

so I brandished a
knife at the police.

” So what we’re seeing
is a lot of bad decisions.

We got Johnny Somali, all pushing his
limits until he gets arrested and deported.

We got Black stalking man who
doesn’t know how to make friends.

We have this guy who
clearly does not make

good decisions when he drinks,
and with that, I say to you, “Good day.

” Is that how I should
end the podcast?

I was actually thinking, usually I
just end off with a sarcastic thing.

I’m not going to
say, “Don’t drink.

” I’m a bit stuck
on an ending there.

Anyways, the police are
not, don’t tell on yourself.

The police, you call the police
and say, “I want to kill my wife.

” I was hoping I had
a quip or something.

I don’t have anything.

It’s just dumb.

I think this is what we’ve hit a level
of dumb, or I can’t even make fun of it.

It’s punching down so
far, I can’t reach that low.

If you call the police and ask them if it’s
acceptable to kill your wife, they’re not

going to say, “Yes,” and they’re
going to show up and arrest you.

Don’t do that.

If you want to make friends, don’t cut
a slit in your pants and show your butt.

That’s not how you make friends.

If you want to do live
streaming, don’t harass

people so much that
you get arrested and

deported and now it can’t
come back to the country.

I kind of shied away
from giving criminal

advice for a while,
but I think that was it.

I just gave a little
summary of criminal advice.

It’s kind of come back on its own.

The other thing, though,
talking about re-entry

to Japan, Paris
Hilton, because she was

convicted and went to jail, she
came to Japan on her private jet.

Obviously, she did not know the rules.

Rich people don’t check things.

She was like, “Yeah, I’m here
to promote my new perfume.

” This is back when
she was famous.

The Japanese Customs
Immigration Office was

like, “No, get on your
plane and go back because

you’ve committed crimes
and we don’t want you here.

” The other thing I found
out was Robert Downey

Jr., because he has drug
charges and stuff in the past.

They won’t let him in the country.

He, when he was
promoting Iron Man, basically

had to have a
babysitter the whole time.

He came to immigration and
immigration was really shitty to him.

He tells stories about
it, which is pretty

interesting to read
about because he’s looking

down on them, but I’m like, “In a
weird way, you’re the criminal here.

You’re the one who’s committed
crimes and trying to come to this

country, but Marvel at the
time wants to promote this movie.

They got a lot of money.

” They’re basically paying
the Japanese government.

I think it was an incredibly
limited one or two days.

He had to leave the
country by that time where

he would just be immediately
arrested and deported.

He had to have a babysitter
with him the whole time.

Japanese immigration does not fuck around.

Nickname Problems

(upbeat music)

Johnny Smiley is right at the top.

I didn’t wanna talk about
him when he was trending

for being an asshole and
I don’t really wanna talk

about him now, but
he’s fallen into the trap

with the Japanese police that
the sort of draconian nature

of Japanese laws most
of the time I find terrifying,

but the benefit of the
draconian system is when

it is applied the right
way is quite entertaining.

So Japan has a system they can hold
you for 23 days without charging you.

They can do that for each crime.

So what they do often is they catch
you, hold you for 23 days, they let you go.

As you walk out the
door, they catch you again

and hold you for another
23 days on another charge.

Johnny Smiley, he was
arrested for trespassing.

He was held for 23 days
and just recently was released

and as he was released,
they re-arrested him

for obstruction of business,
which is a classic obstruction

of business for recording video inside
a restaurant and playing loud music.

So in Japan, in America, if you’re in
public, you’re allowed to record people.

In Japan, that’s not the case.

You actually need to get every single
person’s permission to record them.

If it’s in a business, it’s
doubly worse because you need

the business’s permission
and the people in the place.

So it becomes a very difficult thing

to actually get permission
to video in any space,

really, if you’re gonna do it and put it on
the Internet and stuff, you can get sued.

That’s basically what it comes down to.

The playing loud music is
an obstruction of business.

I’m sure the business told him to stop
and he didn’t because he’s Johnny Smiley.

So they arrested him for that.

He was re-arrested and then pulled back
in, he’s gonna be held for another 23 days.

His visa is probably very close
to expired if it hasn’t already.

And it’s just a question
now of once they deport

him, ’cause that’s really
all they’re gonna do.

They’re not really gonna
charge him with any of this stuff.

They’re gonna hold
him until his visa expires.

Probably put him on a blacklist
so he can’t come back to Japan.

But I’m wondering if they’re just
like, I do wonder about his mindset.

Like, have they made this
experience so negative to him?

That he won’t come back.

Like, he won’t be able to come back.

But if he could, would he come back?

Is it really interesting question to me?

I’d be interested in sort
of one or two interviews,

maybe after he gets back
home to wherever he’s from.

Or not, ’cause he just seems like a prick.

And that is sort of the core
issue, is that he’s just a prick.

And I’m happy he’s been arrested
and I’m happy he’s being held.

I’m happy he’s going
through all the nightmares

that the Japanese legal
system can create for someone.

It’s just usually when it does it,
it’s not really fair to the person.

But in this case, he did it to himself.

(upbeat music)

So the conveyor belt Sushi terrorism.

There was a couple of instances
of this, but one was a guy.

It turned out later that he was arrested

on a separate charge for
underage sex trafficking.

So he’s pretty gross.

But the real question was, how
much trouble are you going to get into

for taking the publicly shared
soy sauce and linking it?

‘Cause that’s what he was arrested for.

That’s a public nuisance
obstruction of business.

The issue being, how much of
a threat is it to other people?

How much of a health
hazard is it to other people?

And what is the punishment
that should go along with that?

That was the bid I was interested in.

Well, he has been sentenced and
he’s going to do three years in prison.

He’s, so basically, being a jerk
in a high-ten Sushi restaurant

has led him to now spend the
next three years of his life in prison.

That’s separate from the
other charge, the other like

sex charge, the other charge
that he had given to him

that everyone only found
out about after the fact.

Before warned, if you’re
a Johnny Somali type,

and you come to Japan,
actually the thing is, yeah.

So this shows the difference.

They can get rid of Johnny Somali
without actually doing anything.

They just hold him till his visa expires,

get him out of the country,
and then he’s blacklisted.

This guy, because he’s Japanese,
they can’t just get rid of him.

So three years in prison.

Now that seems extreme,
but also they’re absolutely

making sure he’s
never gonna do it again.

(upbeat music)

Japan versus hay fever.

This is something I go through every year.

I am a big hay fever
sufferer now, which sucks.

Areas around major cities, they’re
going to start culling the trees.

Right now they are currently cutting
down about 50,000 hectares a year.

They’re going to increase
that to 70,000 hectares.

They have submitted a new budget.

The new budget includes more tree murder
machines to murder trees more efficiently.

And then a guaranteed supply of
allergy drugs for up to 500,000 people.

That’s double what it was previously.

40% of the population of Japan
suffers from allergy seasonal allergies.

And it’s, they’re actually seeing it now
as a point because it’s so many people.

It is problematic
because it actually will

affect productivity
overall on a national level.

So we’re gonna get rid of these trees.

They’re gonna plant low
pollen trees in place of them.

I’m hoping I’m interested now in this.

Actually, I thought about
this in the last second.

If the trees are non-native
species, will people

form allergies to them in
like the next generation?

A lot of allergy sufferers, they
develop the allergy over time.

So that’s a big question.

Will they just start
having allergies right away?

If you plant some new
trees, will there be less

allergies overall and
that will be generational?

Or will future generations develop more
and severe allergies to these new trees?

This is reminding me of a story I read.

I think it was a couple of years ago.

It was a guy he was doing research on
those monkeys that sit in hot Springs.

Those seem like a nice thing, but
that’s just poop soup at that point.

And he noticed that one of
the monkeys had a triallurgy

and he said he felt really sorry for it
’cause it’s not like he could go over it.

You’re not supposed to,
as a nature documentarian,

you’re not supposed to interfere
with nature, but at the same time.

And you can’t really give a
monkey drugs, but he was like, man,

I really wanted to give that
monkey an antihistamine.

And I’m totally on board.

I was like, that monkey’s life sucks.

And there’s anything you could have done.

I would have felt the exact same way.

It’s irrelevant, but there’s empathy for
you in the world, which is a nice thing.

(upbeat music)

For the first time in a
decade, a survey was done.

No, but the first time in the
decade a survey was done.

No, a survey was done.

As it is done every year.

And the first time in a
decade, Japanese people are

generally trending towards
more positive than negative

in their impression of
South Korea, which is great.

‘Cause I want South Korea and
Japan to become fast friends.

I understand that the complicated
history between the two countries,

I understand all the terrible
things that have happened

in the past, but I’m
thinking about the future.

And the future is these
two powerhouses working

together become a
dominant force in the world.

37.4% of people think South Korea is good.

32.8% I think South Korea is bad.

And I’m guessing the other
leftover percentages are neutral,

but that trend to the positive is
something I wanna see more in the world.

Not just in South Korea, but I just
want people to be nice and friendly.

I’m not in a jovial mood.

I messed up my knee and I went to the doctor
and they’re like, well, let’s just wait.

And honestly, the last thing you
want from the doctor is just wait.

You actually just wanted
to do something and fix it.

You want it fixed so you can go
back and be a normal human being.

So I may be a little more low key today.

I hope I am still providing you the
standard of entertainment you expect,

which I’m assuming at
this point is quite low

if you’ve come back to Ninja
Ninja Japan for any amount of time.

So, you know, we’re in good shape.

Let’s just keep it there and move on.

(upbeat music)

So the Prime Minister of Japan,
Kishida was giving a speech.

And he has been now
referred to in the media

as tax increase mega
nay, mega nay is classes.

So they are calling him
essentially tax increase classes.

Or I guess if you’re gonna turn it into
slang, it would be tax increase four eyes.

This heckler was at his speech.

So he’s been called down the media

and apparently this
nickname really, really bugs

him, which honestly
is already pretty funny.

A heckler while he was giving his
speech, shouted out tax increase mega nay.

And so the Prime Minister’s like
clearly he’s been resting on his mind.

So he had like a wicked comeback.

He goes, should I get LASIC?

Which I think is not addressing the
insulting part of the moniker as it were.

It’s the tax increase part.

People are upset about not your glasses.

Did not land as strongly
as maybe he had hoped.

This is one of the
problems with politicians.

They don’t tend to be like funny.

This is one of the
reasons people liked Trump

as he said dumb shit, but he
wasn’t funny in a smart way.

He was funny in a double way.

And then he always, he crossed lines,
which is where the entertainment ended.

Prime Minister’s heads of state, whatnot.

They should try to stay
out of the comedy realm,

unless that’s where they
started and how they got into it.

The irony now, because of his
statement, should I get LASIC?

A bunch of people on the Internet
were like, yes, yes, you should.

And they’re saying like you are more
handsome without glasses than with glasses.

So you should get the
LASIC that you were jokingly

suggesting as a counter
to this nickname you

have, I don’t think he’s
done himself any favors.

I don’t know.

I don’t know what to
do with that one at all.

Tax increase for eyes is
a pretty harmless name.

I don’t think that would get to me.

I guess I’m not the
prime minister of a country

where tax increases have become
like my reputational standard.

I’m trying to think of what
people, I got, because my hair is red.

It was redder when I was young.

I got carrot top, my name’s Peter.

So I got Peter Cottontail
and Peter Pumpkin Eater.

And at no point did any of
those actually bother me?

Like I remember being a kid and a kid
walking on to a guru, Peter, Peter, Peter,

Pumpkin Eater, I was like, and,
like, is that really the best you got?

There’s no personal insult there.

You’ve just taken a child’s nursery rhyme
that has my name in it and then said that.

That’s not very good.

That kid actually,
I think it kind of

humiliated him because
my reaction was so blase.

I did get called Peter
Cottontail a few times

and I was like, again, and
a very lovable character.

Everyone, everyone thinks
Peter Cottontail is cute.

So, I mean, you’re not really
hurting my feelings at that point.

I have nowhere to go with this.

It’s just, nicknames only have
power if you give them power.

So I was thinking, maybe
it would have been in

’cause she does best
interest to ignore the nickname

and the heck, throw the
heckler out for being disruptive.

But the response, should I get LASIC?

Probably he thought was
like a drop the mic, slam dunk

and it really came out fairly
lame and, I mean, let’s be honest,

it was, and now people are
saying, yes, you should get LASIC.

You would look better with LASIC.

(electronic music)

A 75-year-old man.

All right, this isn’t creepy
news, this is just violent.

A 75-year-old man
was arrested for pulling

a woman’s hair at an
ATM for being too slow.

That’s it.

It seems like a very weird reaction and
then again, thinking that it’s acceptable.

Like, so honestly, I’ve
been at ATMs in Japan

and people do seem
to write their life story

into the touch pad
when they’re doing stuff.

But they’re doing their finances.

Their personal finances, it takes time.

Is frustrating it is for me?

I sit there and wait, that’s
what I do, it’s what you should do.

I’ve never instinctively thought
maybe I should assault them

in some way and it will
make them wrap up quicker.

It will make them wrap up
quicker or not ’cause if they

have to get stuff out, still
has to wait, I don’t know.

He claims he did nothing
wrong, not understanding

that you aren’t allowed
to go around grabbing

people’s hair and pulling
on it all Willy nilly alike.

So at 75, he’s clearly not gonna be
changing his way of thinking, at 75.

It’ll be interesting to see if
he gets like assault charges.

It is assault.

Is he gonna get jail time?

I doubt it, he’ll probably get a fine.

I bet he has to pay the girls some
money, which is, I think appropriate.

Putting your hands on someone’s
not okay, I need a lawyer friend.

I think that’s maybe it.

I need a Japanese scholar
expert lawyer type person

and I can give them these scenarios
and we can kind of talk through

what the actual appropriate
punishment would be.

‘Cause I would like to hear that.

I would like to know what the actual
punishment should be for these things.

And then maybe compare them
to what it actually comes out as

and then, you know, talk
through the difference.

So if you’re a Japanese
lawyer who speaks English,

that’s a pretty tall order
for an engineer’s Japan.

Although, once again, rated the
number two podcast on Japanese news.

Again, right behind the national newspaper.

So I realized though, I saw,
of course, being number two

it kind of bugs you if you’re
number two a couple of times.

So I went and checked
and they release an

episode every day and I
think that’s the problem.

Because if they release an episode
every day and it gets downloaded every day,

their numbers are always
going to be higher than mine.

So I’m never going to be able to catch
up because I can’t do it every single day.

But think, I became the number two podcast

for Japanese news with
very little investment.

Wow, shit.

Now I just thought of how much money
you’ve spent on fucking podcasting stuff.

The mic, arm, the microphone, the camera.

I should not have gone down this path.

The mayor of Nakama was a guest speaker

and he decided to try to be
charming and smart and witty,

which is what you should do
when you’re giving speeches.

There’s a very fine line and you
have to know your audience and stuff.

And so that’s where
this all sort of falls apart.

He decided to say speeches
and skirts should be short.

Now while I agree with
his sentiment, I do think

speeches should be short
and I am a heterosexual male.

So I do enjoy a short skirt.

I know that as a public official
that is not an appropriate statement

to make during any sort
of speech, as a guest

speaker, you’re actually
making the speaker look bad.

So that’s also problematic.

But he got in trouble, he apologized.

I think as far as some
of the grow statements

that have been made, like all the races and
stuff, that one is sort of more innocent.

So I think he thought this
was like a good joke term thing.

And he sort of spoke out a term
as come back to bite him in his butt.

And I was about to make some
jokes and I’ve decided not to,

which is exactly what the
mayor of Nacama didn’t do.

(upbeat music)

The creator of Gantz is
a manga and it turned into

an anime and then they
made a live action film.

Hiroya Oku.

Claims to be the first person
to have drawn giant breasts.

Now I personally believe
that giant breasts have been

drawn well, well before
he started making comics.

Now I think what he
means is like an official

capacity of some sort that
he has made giant breasts

a common thing and
that he’s the inspiration

for other manga artists
to draw giant breasts.

So he feels that he has
inspired other manga artists

to draw their female
characters with giant breasts

instead of just like normal
anatomically appropriate breasts.

I guess he feels like he’s
left his Mark on the world.

I’m wondering if that’s the
legacy I would have chosen

for myself, if I was gonna
choose my own legacy,

I don’t know if that’s the
one I would have gone for.

Having to tell everyone about it means

that not everyone knows
it or feels the same way.

So there’s an interesting secondary
question there of do they disagree.

I do know that giant breasts
were drawn before him,

but at the same time
perhaps not an official capacity,

he claimed that other manga artists sort of
copied him and that he made this a trend.

That of course the anime
otaku audience cares for deeply.

Okay, a guy was arrested for spilling
bodily fluids on a skirt on a train.

And he said in his defense,
so he’s on a train, it’s crowded,

and then this woman goes, hey, young lady,
there’s stuff on your skirt, she checks,

and there’s like that
stuff, it’s man stuff,

it’s stuff, we kinda
all know what it is.

The man was somehow
found out fairly quickly and

arrested, and he said
he didn’t do it on purpose.

He said, I believe the
bodily fluids may have spilled

because I couldn’t get tissues
or a handkerchief out in time,

but I wasn’t thinking about
splashing the girl with it.

Please keep in mind in his defense
that he was still on a public train,

he was still taking care
of personal business

and the fact that he couldn’t get to his
tissues in time isn’t the issue at hand.

I have long said that Japanese trains,

because of all this stuff,
should have cameras,

there’s actually no cameras
on Japanese public transport.

This is gonna change, security cameras
are going to be installed on any new train

on a line with more than 100,000 people
a day, which is honestly, most of them,

except the most sort of
countryside areas in the country.

So even though I live in
sort of a backwater city,

and I travel to Nagoya,
because I travel to a big city

to go to work, I know on my train
line, there’s 100,000 people a day easily.

So from that, any new car put on that line,
and of course the cars are being retired

and replaced all the time, that
means there will be cameras

on the train shooter later, which
I actually think is a good thing.

Just take care of it and private, man.

(upbeat music)

A last creepy dude story, a peeping Tom.

Now, when I think of peeping Tom’s,

I have the sort of cartoonish
image of a guy in a bush,

pushing the bush aside and looking in
through a window, may be climbing a tree.

This guy took it to the next level.

He says he’s like, I wanna
see in this woman’s apartment,

I wanna see what she’s doing,
I wanna peeping Tom, her.

I feel a little bad for everyone named Tom,

this association, I
guess it’s that kid’s

thing, where the names
that were thrown at me,

like Peter Cottontail,
didn’t hurt my feelings,

but peeping Tom, that
actually hurt your feelings.

That’s like a connection
that reflects badly on you.

He decided that there was a seven story
building, he decided the best way to do this

to go look into this woman’s room, would
be to repel down the side of the building.

Now, I have never repelled
anything, but I know the first thing,

if I was gonna repel down a building,
like let’s just say for some reason,

I have the instinct, I’m going to
repel down the side of this building.

I want the rope that
I will be using to repel

with, to be firmly
attached to something.

This guy tied it to a ladder.

Now, ladders don’t tend to
be connected to anything solid.

Therefore, the ladder
slipped and he fell seven story.

They didn’t actually say
how many stories, he survived.

So maybe he didn’t fall all seven stories.

He was arrested, he
was taken to the hospital,

and then when he was released for
hospital, he was immediately arrested.

I was weirdly more
focused on the repelling

aspect of this story than
the actual peeping Tom.

Peeping Tom’s are just
like every gross, needing to

do a new Japan story,
relatively common to be honest.

I like the stories where
they take it to an extreme.

It’s weird when you take it to an extreme,
but you’re also too dumb to do it right.

So it’s the stories where
people take something

to an extreme and they’re kind of like
leveling up versus this guy where he’s like,

I’m gonna do something, I’m not smart
enough to think it all the way through.

I have no intention personally
of doing this kind of thing,

and I already know, I
need to look into repelling

a little bit more before I
start trying to repel anything.

So kids, don’t repel down buildings.

I mean, that’s it.

Just, again, I’m not gonna give
you advice on how to peep or Tom.

I just don’t want you
to repel down buildings.

It’s dangerous, don’t do it.

(upbeat music)

[Music]

(wind whooshing).