(upbeat music)
- Man stole a forklift and he
decided the best use of this
would be to crash it
into a convenience store
that was closed and
steal 100,000 yen in cash.
Now 100,000 yen, it’s
about a thousand dollars.
I mean, we’re just gonna go
with the simplest math on this.
It’s about a thousand dollars.
My dealings with criminality in doing an
international panther as long as I have,
so let me to understand
the things have value.
Forklift in itself has value.
I’m pretty sure a forklift, even a
used one, it’s worth a lot of money.
So I went to decide to look it up online.
What I found was that a used 3,000 pound
electric forklift at the low end is $9,900.
At the high end is $28,000 with
an average selling price of $17,200.
We don’t know what kind
of forklift this guy stole.
We do know he stole a forklift.
And we know that an
expensive forklift, let’s say a
15,000 pound pneumatic, the
low price for that is $43,000.
The high price is $91,000.
And the average price is $62,800.
So that tells me that after he had gone
through the effort of stealing the forklift,
it would have been more
financially viable for him
to resell the forklift as
opposed to smashed into
a convenience store and
get only $1,000 in cash.
And that $1,000 in cash
is what led to the arrest.
So I bet he could have
stolen, sold that forklift
and then skipped
town, that pin’s got free.
Keep in mind though, some of the listings
we took above number to
not include paint in the price.
So if you need to paint your
forklift, that’s gonna cost more.
So maybe he’s gonna steal the forklift,
give it a fresh coat of
paint so it looks different.
Sell that forklift.
You can charge extra for that.
I mean, that’s the benefit of
having a paint job on your forklift.
You can actually up that price a little
bit and maybe get more of the high end
and less than the low end,
you know what I’m saying?
All I’m saying is, as
soon as I read the story
about a man crashing a forklift
into a store to steal $1,000, I was like,
I bet the forklift he was sitting
on was worth more than $1,000.
Oh my God, put some thought into it.
That’s all I’m saying.
The Tokyo Metro Police have
filed charges against a student
who took an engineering
exam for a university.
Now what did he do?
That’s a very good question you ask.
That’s probably why you’re here.
He was wearing smart glasses and
sending pictures of the exam to X.com.
And here’s the thing, okay.
It turns out he had his
smartphone in his pocket.
So he was sending pictures to the internet,
trying to get people to
answer those questions for him.
And then when they sent
the answers to the responses,
he would check the
smartphone in his pocket.
That is partially how he got caught.
There’s actually an interesting thing here.
So I read multiple stories again,
trying to get my sources straight.
There are actually two
versions of how he got caught.
But I want to actually
get to the main point.
This was an engineering exam.
He had smart glasses on.
He was using the smart glasses to take
pictures of the exam to send to the internet.
My theory is, if he had built
the smart glasses himself,
so they had a camera
in it where fully functional
took pictures and sent the
pictures to the internet successfully,
that should be enough to
pass the engineering exam.
I actually think that would
be enough engineering,
a practical exam, let’s
say, and he should pass.
And then my second thought was, why
don’t they make that the engineering exam?
Like you have to take the exam,
so you can take the exam as it is
and do it the way the
traditional way in filling the exam
answer the questions, you
know all that boring stuff.
Or if you can engineer a way to cheat
and that engineering
is well constructed
enough, then you pass
the exam automatically.
I think the failure point
here is that he got caught.
And it seems like he got
caught using a smartphone,
not actually the sunglasses he was
wearing that had the camera in them.
But my feeling is if he’s a good enough
engineer to make glasses that take pictures
of some of the internet, that he’s already
passed the exam, he doesn’t need the exam.
And so we need to look at
different ways to do exams.
Now, different people
have different skills.
There’s different kinds of intelligence.
This is something I’ve
always proposed and believed.
Ever since I first learned about it, I said
there are different kinds of intelligence
and different people are
smart in different ways.
And maybe he isn’t a paper smart
guy, but he is a mechanically smart guy.
Maybe he’s not.
Maybe he’s just bought smart glasses
and used them to try to cheat in that,
in which case he’s getting
exactly what he deserved.
So the way he got caught
is that someone responded
to his questions online and
then notified the university.
He was well, say to university one of
the most famous universities in Japan.
The school called the police when officials
noticed the camera in his glasses.
So there are two, not
contradictory stories,
but I think it might be two people
claiming that they caught the guy cheating.
I think the person who
found the questions online,
and that was answering
the questions and then
realized, this is from
an exam and an exam
that might be happening right
now and contacted the university.
That seems more reasonable.
They probably contacted the
university, told one of the officials,
the officials went and found the guy
with the glasses, and then he’s like,
but here’s a chance for
me to take credit and he did.
In which case, that guy’s cheating,
and that guy should get in trouble too.
And so I was actually thinking
of it as which is more likely.
It’s actually, if he was got into the exam
with the glasses on, started
taking the exam with the glasses on,
I actually think the camera must have been
subtle enough that he wouldn’t notice it.
You’d be more likely to notice the
smartphone in his pocket him pulling out,
’cause he has to check it for the answers,
in which case that’s when you would notice.
So someone noticing
the camera in his glasses,
it would have made more sense if they found
that early exam, not later in the exam.
So to me, story wise, it makes
more sense if it was the person online,
realized this person
was using the internet
to cheat, and then
contacted the university.
The Foreign Minister of Japan is a
woman, and we have a little quiz today.
So last week, I sort of
felt out the theory of maybe
we could do some quizzes,
maybe some fun stuff.
This week, I decided to try to employ that.
So I got a good friend
of mine, Mr. Warm Hands.
He’s going to join us in the podcast
and take the Foreign
Minister’s quiz with us today.
I have to make some kind
of like fireworks or something.
Phew, phew, phew, phew,
phew, phew, phew, phew, phew,
the Ninja New Japan, Ninja
New Japan, Ninja New Japan.
Quiz, something like that.
I’m not gonna make
any of that ’cause I don’t
have time ’cause I have
to do all this in one day.
Should I introduce you, does anyone care?
You’re just another voice in the world.
- Yeah, I mean, you can
do it on the actual podcast. - Okay, yes.
- Right now.
- So the female Foreign
Minister of Japan said,
this is three options,
so it’s multiple choice.
- Okay.
- The female Foreign
Minister of Japan said,
A, foreigners are diluting
the purity of Japan.
B, women are only women if they give birth,
or C, equal pay for women
will damage the equality.
- Ah, sure.
- Equal pay for women
will damage the economy. - Oh.
- So we can have a little
chatter if you want clues.
I’ll try to–
- All three of them are pretty viable.
- That’s the problem.
I think I’ve actually done enough news
that I now my quiz questions are gonna
be super hard ’cause they’re all possible.
- Equal pay for women
will damage the economy.
Women are not women unless they give birth.
- And foreigners are
diluting the purity of Japan. - Ah, and this is the minister for–
- The Foreign Minister.
- The Foreign Minister for Japan.
- The female Foreign
Minister, she is a woman. - It is a woman.
- It’s a, oh god, that
doesn’t really help much. - It actually doesn’t.
She is old.
That actually I think is why
these statements came out.
It’s always the same thing.
It’s this old form thinking
that I’m always going on about.
- If it was a man, everyone in
statement might be more likely. - I think B would be
more likely if it was a man. - Women are only women
if they give birth, okay? - Yeah, but I’m not ruling it out.
‘Cause I know a lot of old women
who are like very gender roles.
- It’s not, it’s not even a Japanese thing.
It’s just like you have to give birth.
You have to give birth and
you have to maintain a house
and you have to manage the boss
and it’s so much of that and it’s crazy.
- That tread wife.
- I actually was watching a video.
It was one of these
trad wives who’s like
head quit and she’s
like, I regret it so much.
It’s so horrible.
- Well, but even my wife’s mother
gives her shit because I do stuff.
They say, well, this so ass backwards.
- Yeah.
- She’s like, your husband’s doing stuff.
I can’t believe you’d let that happen.
(laughing)
- ‘Cause my father-in-law, he’s old.
He saw me just get up
and wash some dishes once.
He was like, whoa, you can do that.
And I was like, I didn’t say anything,
but I think his attitude changed.
She’s like, oh, actually,
maybe I could do stuff.
‘Cause I made dinner
and I cook and I cleaned.
So on the days I cook, I actually
like, my wife won’t wash that.
I don’t want, she doesn’t wash the dishes.
I do everything.
So it’s like, she has at
least one day with nothing.
But okay, you have to make your choice.
A, foreigners are
diluting the purity of
Japan or unless you
wanna ask some questions.
B, women are only
gonna take a birth or a C,
equal pay for women
will damage the economy.
- So B seems the most
misogynistic view about his coming
from a woman, which
is, I feel like it’s that one.
- All right, it is correct.
- Oh, that’s what I think,
ding, ding, ding, ding, ding sound. - She said, women are
only women if they give birth. - Jesus Christ.
- Her actual statement was, how can we
call ourselves women without giving birth? - So the next day, you know she
got in trouble for this, the next day. - Oh, of course she did.
- Again, three choices, A,
she gave us sincere apology.
B, she said her statement
didn’t convey the
correct meaning or C,
I retract my statement.
You know that’s my favorite one.
When they retract statements, I’m
like, it doesn’t really retract any, right?
It’s still there.
The statement you made still exists.
- So the first one was apologize.
- A sincere apology.
- sincere, okay, oh, well,
that’s definitely not happening. - Mm-hmm.
- Okay, B, her statement didn’t
convey the correct meaning. - You guys are too dumb
to know what I meant. - Mm-hmm.
- Or C, I retract my statement.
- Oh, come on, right,
so, then if it was a man,
I want 100% to go with
retract because I feel
like they just like, this
might get outbound.
I can say what I want.
- I can say whatever I
want in the next day, I’ll
be like, well, you know,
you guys interpret it.
- I apologize for you
misinterpreting my words.
(laughs)
- Yeah, I feel like like female politicians
are a special breed of like evil. - In Japan, yes.
- No, not just in Japan.
- I was thinking about like a
UK even, like Thatcher, like in– - Thatcher has ruined it for
every other female politician. - Yeah, I’m pretty sure there’s
some good ones out there.
But at the chance of Germany
was, she seems all right.
- Yeah, she seems like reasonably
down to a– – I kind of like her. - And then the prime minister
of New Zealand, she was cool. - Yeah.
- Yeah, people tried to dunk on her
for like having a party, I remember that.
Like just talking about a party.
- Yeah, it’s like, and had a full month.
- Shut fun.
- Like AOC, I really like AOC.
In America, there’s a Katie
something and she’s awesome.
All she does is take
like business men to task.
She had the president of Pierce Moore,
like JP Morgan, some giant
investment hedge fund bank thing.
And then she was like, I found out
how much like your tellers get paid.
They don’t make enough to survive.
Can you reconcile that with me?
And he’s like, basically like, how can
you justify not paying a living wage?
And he’s like, he started
to try to talk his way out.
And he’s like, no, no, no,
this is how much she makes.
Like I talked to this woman.
How do you think that’s fair
that you get what you pay?
Yeah, you get your pay.
- Yeah.
- I see your pace out of hand.
- Yeah.
- Oh, come on.
I think I’ve found my niche now though,
is coming up with quiz
questions based on the news.
- Okay, this is here apology.
You guys are idiots.
Oh, attraction.
- Retraction.
I’m just gonna take it
back and think it privately.
- Oh, come on.
- Oh, I’m gonna see.
She retracted it.
- She retracted her statement.
Both B and C.
She actually, she did all three,
but it was not a sincere apology.
She A, apologized.
B, said that her
statement didn’t convey the
correct meaning and C,
retracted her statement.
- So she went, I’m really sorry.
You guys too stupid to
understand my reaction.
- Well, I do say so, I take it back.
- So maybe if I say I didn’t say it, you
guys will believe it ’cause you’re so dumb.
(laughing)
She said her comment was meant to emphasize
the power of women and
she meant that she was born
into the house of
representatives in a year
2000 by the power of
women voting for her.
And I was like, that is not
how that phrase has ever,
- No, it would never convey
that meaning, bit ridiculous.
They think they come up with some
profound saying, some profound soundbite.
And then everyone’s like, what?
- I think they take 10 seconds and
think about her trying to backtrack this.
It’s like that doesn’t even make sense.
That makes less sense
than your original statement.
- That’s what you’ve said.
- Oh dear, good.
- And that’s the first
news news panic was, yeah. - Yeah, I think it’s so
trackers all the way away. - Quiz, quiz, quiz, quiz, quiz, quiz, quiz.
- I need, I need.
- Ninja, Ninja, Ninja, Ninja, Japan, the quiz.
(laughing) – So as you heard in the
quiz, she did not necessarily apologize.
Her statement was how can we call
ourselves women without giving birth?
She then said on the next day,
when she was doing her apology,
I accept the possibility
that my words could be
misunderstood and have
decided to retract the statement.
That is one of the most
annoying political statements.
‘Cause again, my problem with retracting
statements is they don’t make them go away.
It actually just means
I said a shitty thing
and now I want you to
forget, I said a shitty thing.
I’m not actually going to
change my behavior or anything.
I’m not gonna try to improve myself.
I’m not gonna think about what I did.
I’m just gonna say,
sorry you were offended.
Please forget the thing I said.
She then went on to say her comment
was meant to emphasize the power of women.
So how can we call
ourselves women without giving
birth was meant to
emphasize the power of women?
Now I studied English literature, I
have an English literature degree.
Now I don’t consider
myself particularly adept
at interpreting the
language, I can do it.
I don’t think of the statement she made,
how can we call ourselves
women without giving birth?
I don’t see how that relates to
emphasizing the power of women.
And I think that might be
where the words she used
could be misunderstood
’cause I think the words
she used don’t mean the
things she says they mean.
She said, she went on to say,
she meant that she was born
into the house of representatives
in the year 2000 by the
power of women voting for her.
Which is not anywhere
implied in the statement,
how can we call ourselves
women without giving birth?
This is a classic example of a
politician saying something dumb
and then trying to recreate
a narrative around it,
trying to remold that sentence
that everyone understood
into some other meaning so that
they hopefully can get away with it.
A bill has been introduced to Parliament.
And the roughest way of
saying it is that it’s designed
to take away permanent residents
from people who live in Japan
if they have intentionally failed to
pay taxes or social insurance premiums.
This has been a problem in the past
where people who live in Japan
don’t pay their taxes and stuff.
I think it’s a problem in every country.
They’re claiming it’s
only for malicious cases.
Now this is one of the problems.
This was the TikTok ban.
My problem with the TikTok
ban wasn’t banning TikTok.
It was how could that
legislation be interpreted later
to ban other companies that
are essentially not American.
This goes way back to
my experience as a young
man when they
introduced the Patriot Act.
And it was supposed
to be just for terrorists.
And it’s just gonna be
for catching terrorists.
And then they expanded
the definition of terrorists
they could redefine a
criminal as a terrorist
and then use the Patriot Act to
do whatever they want to them.
And this is one of the problems
with legislation that’s vague.
And they are saying that the
problem with this legislation
in Japan about permanent
residency is very vague.
Kishida said the plan
would not affect the
vast majority of former
permanent residents.
But it was based on inconclusive data
that shows 10% of permanent
residents don’t pay taxes.
Now this survey was done of 1,825 people
where there are 890,000
permanent residents in Japan.
So they’ve taken a small sample size,
taken that sample size
and extracted a piece of
information then
extrapolated that information
to the totality of the population
that they’re talking about.
And that’s what a lot of
people are saying is problematic.
So then they didn’t actually explain
how much of that 10% of the 1,825 people,
how much of them would be this
sort of like, let’s kick them out group.
How many people would
fail the stringent requirements
of malicious refusal to pay
their taxes or social insurance?
And then another politician piped up with,
and this is a statement
I really enjoyed was,
there are more unpaid taxes by Japanese
people than there are by foreigners,
which is a very interesting
way of looking at it.
He’s like, why are we going after
these foreign permanent residents
when we have so many Japanese
people that we could be going after?
These bridge people who are hiding money.
‘Cause that is actually a story we’ve
done and introduced Japan in the past.
We have rich people who
are refusing to pay their tax,
who hide their money, who put their
money in other countries, things like that.
And they don’t pay their taxes fairly,
whereas a majority of the permanent residents
pay their taxes, just because they’re not
here, because they’re super rich people,
they’re here ’cause they have
normal jobs and a lot of normal jobs.
Your company actually
pays taxes through your
company for you, so it’s
actually very hard to cheat.
All right, so last story of the day.
It’s usually a dirty, dirty man, but I have
a dirty, dirty couple, which is exciting.
An engaged couple, and this
is actually just kind of show
that they’ve been together
for a while, I think that’s
why they specifically put
an engaged couple in there.
An engaged couple have
been arrested for posting
unedited as in, I believe, uncensored,
explicit videos on social media.
So basically you have a
couple, and they’re doing it,
and they’re videoing it, and
they’re putting it on social media.
It’s paid, it’s like behind a pay while.
I’m thinking they’re talking
about Patreon or one of
these other, like, fansly or
some of these other sites.
The bid I was most interested
in is how much money
can you make, boinking
your partner, filming it,
and putting it on the
internet, because… (mumbling)
They earned 100 million yen through
subscriptions based on social media sites.
So again, they’re keeping it vague.
I want to know which social media sites,
and I want to know what
this couple looked like.
The first thing I did
was go look for a picture
of the couple to see if
they were attractive or not,
which is kind of gross on my part, but it
was, I think, a very natural kind of thing.
They’ve been doing this for two and a half
years, and they have made 95 million yen.
And that makes me think
that maybe I’ve made some
bad choices in my career
options, ’cause here I am.
I work a 40 hour work week.
I make podcasts for fun, and
I do not have anywhere near
95 million yen for just filming
myself and putting it on the internet.
And I realized, you know,
I got some gnarly feet.
I could maybe put something on
Wikipedia, maybe get some money that way.
I don’t think people
would actually want to pay
very much for this,
but that’s one of the
secondary reasons I
wanted to see this couple.
I was like, if I could
measure their attractiveness,
if I matched that
attractiveness level,
maybe I could make 95 million
yen over two and a half years.
The problem is they were
making unedited videos,
so in Japan, you do have
to censor the private parts.
They have mosaics is the most common way.
So they weren’t doing that, and that’s
probably how they were making their money.
So either I would have to put the mosaic
on, and I’d probably put it on my face,
’cause I think you would actually
rather see not my face than anything else,
or I’d have to change
countries before making this new
endeavor, which is going to be NJ,
which is new to Ninja News, Japan,
where I sit here and
do the news in the nude.
So I guess we could just
get a flesh colored t-shirt,
and that would actually be giving you
pretty much the whole effect right there.
Sprinkle some hairs on it randomly.
That’s pretty much the
aesthetic I’d be going for.
So if you, the viewer or
listener, would be interested,
and again, this is an
audio format primarily.
It seems like it would
make no difference to
you, but maybe if you
paid that extra money
and you get the nude version of Ninja
News, Japan, nude Ninja News, Japan, and J.
Maybe just the knowledge
that I’m reading the news
to you naked would
enhance the experience for
you, and there’s only
one way to find out.
That would be to go to our new Patreon, the
new Ninja News, Japan dot slash Patreon,
I don’t know, I don’t actually have
a Patreon, don’t actually go there.
You can go there,
you’re just not gonna find
a new Ninja News, Japan
site, which is too bad.
But if you wanna send me some money,
I will do a private recording, naked,
and I will send it to you,
and it’ll be audio only,
but I promise you, I’ll be
naked, how about that?
(upbeat music)
(upbeat music)
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