DIY Bad Idea

(electronic music)

Gotta work today so I don’t have the luxury of

time, but I know you’re hungry for the news,

you’re hungry for what the creepy people in Japan,

do I have it?

Don’t have that many creepy stories today, I’m sorry.

I actually think I need to turn on the light to better see my notes, whatever.

We’re not gonna worry about it, we’re gonna power through, ’cause that’s what we do.

We power through.

So a man decided it would be a good idea.

And whenever I start, a man decided it would be a good idea.

What I’m actually saying, ’cause I do start, I use that phrase a lot.

What I’m actually saying is, what mental process took this person to this point?

So he woke up in the morning, this is always my story.

Whenever we do like a weird crime, weird anything, is they woke up in the morning

and they got to a point in the day where they’re like,

this is a good idea, this is what I’m gonna do today.

So this guy starts calling the police station

on his mobile phone.

And over the course of two days, he calls them 47 times.

And he starts saying things like, the bomb has been completed, very dramatic.

I got a missile.

I’m going to blow up your police station.

So I’m betting, we did,

he claimed to have a homemade missile.

He claimed to have a homemade bomb

that he was going to use to blow up a police station.

Now we had the assassination of former prime minister Abe

last year.

And the guy who assassinated him used a homemade shotgun.

I was blown away at the amount of work

and effort it would take to make a homemade shotgun.

Not only the shotgun, but the ammunition that goes with it.

He had to make the ammunition, he had to make the shotgun and it worked.

That in itself was shocking.

This guy is claiming to not only have a bomb,

but also a missile that he’s going to use

to blow up a police station.

Now you may have noted, I said, he used his own cell phone.

So that’s going to be a pretty significant clue

for the police when they backtrace that phone

to find out who owns it so they can find the guy.

Now here’s the thing.

He was actually arrested a couple days after these phone calls

were made for intimidation, intimidation in a different case using the same phone.

So the police arrest this guy because he’s calling

someone unrelated saying intimidating things.

I’m not sure what.

Find out the phone number is the same as the phone number

that’s been calling the police station, threatening to blow up the police station.

He is now arrested for forcible obstruction of business.

(bell ringing)

(phone ringing)

Paper cranes in Japan, in Japanese culture, symbolize peace.

So burning them sends a different message

and the fire department was called around 6.30 in the morning in a park.

People had been hanging up paper cranes to symbolize peace

and someone else thought, hey, you know what’s a good idea?

Okay, sort of the same deal.

How does your brain get from?

I’m going to get out of bed today.

and set shit on fire that symbolizes peace.

Like it’s just, so I’m always of the mind.

I think the reason I don’t fall into my base or instincts, it may just be laziness.

‘Cause I wake up in the morning and I’m like, I wanna murder everyone I know.

And then I go, that’s a lot of work.

Maybe I should have breakfast.

And then after I have breakfast, I’m fine.

So all those dark thoughts, they’re like way more work

than I’d be willing to put in, maybe, maybe that’s it.

Maybe I’m just too lazy to be a psycho.

Because yeah, if you think about psycho people,

people who do psycho things, put a lot of work in.

Maybe that’s, I don’t know where I’ve gone right.

That it just be, I read a thing that if,

it did make sense, that if we instituted nap time,

it would end war.

Because the idea is that all these people,

they’re all really angry, and then you take a nap in the afternoon,

and no one wants to get up from the nap in the afternoon and actually do war.

I was like, actually, it kinda makes sense.

The problem is people are very upset.

Probably not getting enough sleep, they just need a nap.

And this is on a similar attack that maybe, maybe that effort is the effort.

So if they would just relax and chill out or have a better breakfast, I don’t know.

So the police show up in the park.

It’s 6.30 in the morning.

It’s also like, what time did he get up, get dressed and go to the park?

Five, maybe that’s the problem.

Is you’re waking up so early or in a bad mood.

I certainly am not a morning person.

Not enough of a morning person that I would go set stuff on fire,

but enough of a not of a morning person that I’m very cranky

and rude to my family, which I honestly should apologize for.

The police arrest is 23 year old government employee,

who straight up said, I started the fire.

We didn’t have a reason.

I do, again, I am always disappointed that we don’t get the reasons.

I get they don’t get the confession in the reason right away.

So it’s always like I wanna follow up that these stories like this,

they don’t tend to get a follow up, which is too bad.

Because I would like to always know,

what’s going on in your head that makes you think this is a good idea.

The first man, the man who is threatening to blow up

police stations and making threatening calls

to other people clearly just anger issues.

He’s just an upset, unpleasant, unhappy person.

This guy who’s 23 years old, these government employee,

he had no setting, a bunch of cranes on fire

wasn’t gonna work out for your day, I guess not.

So I have learned about Yemi Baito.

So it would be kind of translated to dark part time job or dark job.

So these are illegal, these are job requests

on social media, pushing, pushing is not right.

Offers of committing crimes.

So a couple of weeks ago there was a story

about three young men who didn’t know each other

who robbed a Rolex store.

And one of them got taken down like beat up and then arrested.

He said he got the job online.

So the watch thief went online, some guy said, “Hey,

I’m putting together a crew to Rob this Rolex store.”

And he like applied for the job and got it and then got arrested.

There seems like a lot of extra steps there.

There’s no, in that case there is no assurance.

that you have any support system.

So I could think of a crime, I’m gonna Rob a Rolex store.

I don’t really need, ’cause they weren’t, this wasn’t like Ocean’s 11

where they’re gonna do some sort of scheme and need people with skills.

They went up to the Rolex store, smashed everything

they could and grabbed what they couldn’t ran away.

And he just didn’t run away fast enough and got caught.

I guess the only legitimate benefit would be

you don’t know the other guys so you can’t rat them out.

I guess?

But still, I would like more assurance in my crew, like more support or value.

I don’t know.

It seems like you’re missing that sort of team element

that you actually want to be successful to work together well.

There was a secondary crime.

There was the man, I think we actually mentioned this one,

a man who robbed a Pokemon store of 1,500 cars.

That job was also posted on social media.

So he came up from Okinawa, took the shinkansen up to Tokyo, robbed this store.

He goes the same day to meet someone and drops off the cards.

The guy says, “Go to this secondary location and you will get paid.”

He goes to the secondary location and no one shows up to pay him.

So again, that would have been my first suspicion

is I’m dealing with people who think crime is acceptable.

Why would they not think that ripping me off was acceptable?

So he had what it was, I think it was one

point something million yen’s worth of cards.

He handed them over and got no money.

Went to a secondary location, didn’t get any

money, didn’t get paid and then he got arrested.

And he probably can’t rat out the guy,

for the guy on the other side of the social media, this is a great scheme.

But I’m gonna offer up these jobs, you do this thing.

I will pay you, make that promise and then just don’t pay them.

This is how crime works.

It’s almost like these guys don’t really get how crime works.

This, or dude, I guess I can’t feel sorry for him.

He had gambling debts, that’s why he was looking for jobs

on the Internet, that’s why he found his job

to Rob Pokemon store and that’s why he did it.

Now the cards were worth 1.15 million yen.

Yeah, I mean, he’s put himself in a bad situation,

he’s committed a crime and then had a weirdly

honor among thieves crime committed on him.

I guess I can’t feel bad for him.

He’s kind of set up his whole life that way but he clearly makes bad decisions.

I was just about to give advice to criminals.

if you’re gonna commit a crime.

Don’t take someone else’s job, take a minute,

sit down think, what can you do, where can you do it and commit your own crime?

Be independent and strong.

Be the strong independent criminal that we all know you can be.

And at least then you’re not gonna rip yourself off.

You’re still gonna get arrested.

’cause let’s face it, these criminals are not good,

they’re not practiced, they don’t think about things.

Again, a secondary reason is to why I would never

end up being a criminal ’cause I would think about,

I know, I’ve thought about and read about crime enough

that I know how many things have to go right for you not to get caught.

And then like let’s say I stole the Pokemon cards.

I wouldn’t know where to fence them.

I’m not in the Pokemon underworld.

I don’t know what to do.

So you have to almost be like established as a criminal to

be a successful criminal established in a certain CD world.

I know I don’t have those connections.

If I came across a bag of diamonds,

it would make no sense for me to keep them ’cause I wouldn’t know how to fence them.

And then as soon as I go find out

it’s gonna be an undercover cop who’s gonna catch me and I’m gonna get in trouble.

The only way I would be successful

would be if I found a bag of money and tried to keep it.

And then immediately my first thought is

can’t spend all the money in the same place at the same time.

So let’s say I have a bag with a million or 10 million in it.

My, I’m not talking about my, I don’t know how to longer money, right?

That’s the problem.

So I have 10 million in a bag.

My thought was I’ll take 10,000 yen out.

I can’t deposit in my bank account,

even just like 10,000 yen ’cause the serial

numbers, they might have the serial numbers.

I can’t spend a large amount of money

because again, it’ll get traced back to the purchase

that I made and I would have to explain that

or where that money came from.

So my thought was over the course of decades, every time I’m in a different area.

So I can’t always use the convenience store

where I work ’cause again, then they’d be like,

well this guy seems to buy stuff at this

convenience store at these regular amounts of times.

So all we have to do is post up a cop and then sooner or later he’ll come

and buy the stuff and we can catch him and talk to him.

So every time I go to a different convenience store, there are cameras though.

So that’s it.

I’m already kind of screwed.

Where can I spend physical cash.

where I’m not recorded on a camera?

Where can I use this money where I’m not gonna get caught?

It just doesn’t work.

So my thought is wait like a decade.

So I have to wait for years and years and years

and then every time I go to a convenience store I use a different 10,000 yen bill

but it has to be a different convenience store every time.

Even with the camera footage, if it was busy, maybe I could get away with it

but they would probably be able to tell the person

using 10,000 yen ’cause they see the person hand out to change to me.

So I’m already starting to see flaws in my incredibly

simple plan where I didn’t commit an initial crime.

I just found money.

How can I keep that money?

Where you use that money or longer that money?

I can’t.

Unless I can find a place with no cameras and then use a bunch of it at one time

but then again, you can’t do 10,000,000 yen at one time.

Yeah, I’m already like seeing so much failure in this possible plan that I have.

which is the lowest level of crime possible.

It doesn’t work out.

(phone ringing)

This is an explanation of why the world is doomed.

Toyota is a company.

I was very annoyed by this.

I actually may never buy a Toyota car because of this.

They invented the Prius, which is probably the most famous sort of first electric car.

Maybe Tesla’s more famous now, but everyone knows the name Prius

because it was one of the first electric vehicles.

But behind the scenes, Toyota was lobbying to keep internal combustion engines going.

They have recently sort of made their plans.

And what they’re saying is we’re gonna have

multiple avenues of ways towards green technology.

So what they wanna do is have the internal combustion engine.

So gas, they wanna have hybrid, so gas plus electric.

They wanna have electric and they wanna have hydrogen cars.

Japan’s really still stuck on hydrogen

and the rest of the world hasn’t gone that way, which is tough.

I agree with this philosophically if I didn’t know the truth.

And the truth is what they’re trying to do is keep the internal combustion engine

’cause that’s the most profitable one for them.

This is obviously gonna be backed by gas companies and whatever.

Toyota has been accused of trying to keep

the internal combustion engine as opposed to pushing

towards more green and cleaner technologies.

The current aim is technically supposed to be zero emissions by 2050.

And then they made their announcements.

Toyota shareholders rejected plans to better fight climate change.

So Toyota was essentially celebrated by its shareholders.

for making the world a shittier, more dangerous,

more likely to implode place.

This one of the executives said, what is important

is to better convey our efforts to shareholders.

And that was the sentence they got it.

Shareholders will always grab the short-term profit because that’s what profits them.

They are not thinking long-term.

They are not thinking sustainability.

They’re thinking number goes up.

Number that’s the only thing that matters.

I have been recently shocked that companies,

like giant gas companies and companies like Toyota,

don’t transition more smoothly.

We, I did a C-MIG-B last time was a list of technologies

or jobs or industries that don’t exist anymore.

Like the knocker upper was a great, just a

phrase ’cause we use that phrase differently now.

And that was someone who comes to your door

and knocks on your door at a certain time to get you out of bed.

And that was replaced by the alarm clock.

So you have this gas company,

giant corporation like BP, British, petrol.

They knew in the ’70s that fossil fuel was not sustainable over the long term,

but they’re like, well, we’re just gonna forge ahead.

It would have made sense to me.

I’ve done an executive member of BP is like, let’s maintain our gas corporation

but create a secondary BE, so British electric,

and start working on solar panels, start working on

secondary technologies, ’cause we know that this won’t last.

We’ve done the research.

We’ve seen that in X amount of years, even if it’s 50, 60 years away,

that the business model we have now is not sustainable.

So if we start transitioning now and we can be the first to do solar panels,

we can be the first to do hybrid and slowly transition.

When our original business model starts to fail,

we have a new business model in place to dominate the market.

How companies aren’t thinking that way is shocking to me.

So oil and gas companies, not being the first ones

to develop fossil, non-fossil fuel alternatives.

I’m like, how are you letting other companies take over?

Because when fossil fuels run out, your industry is gone.

I mean, that’s just, you know that.

They knew this.

They actually said this back in the ’70s.

I mean, let’s not even talk about climate change.

Let’s talk about self-interest.

The fact that you know that your business will die at some point.

Why would you not put steps into place?

So keep making all your money now,

just take a little bit of that money to make

a new business that goes along with yours.

And then as the fossil fuels run out,

you start to like ramp up the alternative energy collection.

And then your number one for fossil fuels and number one for alternative energy.

And as that transition happens, you remain number one in both.

Be like, you know what?

All the people who worked for us in gas and oil,

we’re gonna move you over to installing solar panels

so people don’t even lose their jobs or not as many

when your entire corporation collapses and goes bankrupt.

So this is the same thing.

So Yoda saying we want multiple avenues.

I actually think technically that would be a good idea

if you were doing it like we’re going to move

away from this thing that we know is dying out

and go towards something that will be a more sustainable future.

The shareholders going, yeah, fuck the environment.

If I make 20 bucks, that’s why shareholders should not be allowed to make decisions.

And yet that’s how corporations are built nowadays, which is why we’re all going die.

(upbeat music).

This was weirdly inspirational, but again, it all goes to shit pretty quick.

There’s some people, they’re like trying to get you to vote for a certain politician.

They come to your house.

This is pretty calm across the world.

Knock on this woman’s door, she’s a police officer.

And they say, oh, you know, we would like you to vote for this politician.

And just thank you for your time.

Here’s two loaves of bread worth about a thousand yen, seven dollars.

And I was like, holy shit.

Some expensive bread.

It’s really nice bread they gave off over there.

Then later, this police officer woman with some sort of integrity goes,

I actually accepted essentially a political

contribution which could be construed as a bride.

I’m gonna go to my immediate supervisor

and tell him about this present that I received.

And go like, look, I think I accidentally accepted a bride.

So, you know, I think we should report that

and make it very clear.

And then she was referred to prosecutors.

And she should be lauded for recognizing she

did something when we were bringing forth.

But she goes, honest cops are a problem.

So, like, I think a normal person would have

gone like, oh, shit, I accidentally took a bribe

or I took this thing and this could be construed as a bribe.

So, what I’m gonna do, she’s not telling anybody

you need the bread.

So, hide the evidence in the most delicious way possible.

And this police officer’s like, well, that would be dishonest.

I’m gonna go report this, be the best police officer

that I can be self-report, which is something we want

police to do all over the world and they never do.

And then what happens?

She gets sent to the prosecutor.

Now, again, the prosecutors might go, well, you

know, let’s take everything into consideration.

You were honest about it.

You made a mistake, you were honest about it.

You brought it to our attention.

We’re not gonna do anything.

Although, because it’s an open and shut case, I bet they just go through with it

because then it’s like a dick on that, like dick.

It’s a Freudian slip of some sort.

That’s like a dick on their board.

Like we have one more case that we’ve won.

So, I’m really disappointed with how this is all being

handled ’cause I would be like, she made a mistake,

maybe paid the $7 back and then apologized.

But I think we have one of the most honest

cops in the world just standing in front of us.

Maybe we should encourage her to keep doing that.

It’s a total side story since I got, I’ve run out of stories.

I once accidentally bribed a border guard when I was going into Korea.

So, I was in Ireland and I bought six bottles of whiskey

’cause I was like, I’ll have to give it to friends, I’ll have to give it to family.

I’m gonna join a judo club, I give it to the judo teacher.

I bought non-export, coal-rained whiskey.

And this is really just bush mills, but it’s the local stuff that they don’t export.

So, I was going to carry this stuff that had never been outside the country.

I mean, someone else has done the exact same thing.

But the idea is that I’m gonna take this non-export and

bring it with me somewhere and use it as presence and gives.

So, I think I had six bottles.

And then I was at the passport control

and I had to like, do you have anything to declare?

And I was like, oh, it says you can only bring

four bottles of alcohol into the country.

So, I thought, maybe I have to pay some taxes, but you know, it’s worth it.

So, I go up to the guy and he says, do you have anything to declare?

And I was like, yes, I have six bottles of whiskey and I took one out as an example

and I put it on the table.

And the man looked at me, took the bottle of whiskey,

and David was just being so sexy in the background.

Took the bottle of whiskey, put it down under the table and said, go ahead.

And that was it.

And then I walked out and I was like, oh shit,

I think I just accidentally bribe that guy.

‘Cause my intent was to show him the product

so that he could, you know, better assess it

so that he could better assess it.

So, he could charge me appropriately because it wasn’t like

the most expensive, highest end whiskey, but, you know,

it was not an export out of an off-thirst being issue with that.

So, I was like, oh, I’ll pay some one, whatever.

I have no problem with that ’cause it’s, or maybe you just

take two bottles away and that’s all I get, whatever, fine.

And then he took one, so I brought in five.

I lost one, which I guess was kind of my tax,

but I’m pretty sure that never went into the system.

I think that man just took that home.

So, accidental crimes are very much a thing and it’s very much possible.

Please be careful.

Now we should say thank you to that cop.

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music).